A few years back, I was killing time at my boring desk job and came to the sudden and pants stirring realisation that there are a hell of a lot of attractive travel bloggers out there. No wonder I can’t find a beautiful girl for me here in Australia; they’re all out exploring the world and being awesome as far from me as humanly possible!
What resulted from this idle admiration was the Travel Blogging Crushes list. In 2011 and 2014, I published my Travel Blogging Crushes to mostly positive feedback. Those included felt a mixture of flattery, awkwardness, and amusement, those excluded bemoaned my poor taste, and a good time was had.
What better way to launch the sexy new look for the site than with a list of 39 of the sexiest bloggers out there?
I cannot stress enough that the comments below are meant as light-hearted fun. Consider me an actor playing the role of insufferable cad. I’m going to say some things that might offend your delicate sensibilities, but I’ll be back to self-loathing, introspection, and tales of excitement from all over the world soon enough. I’m not in love with you. I’m not going to write further entries about you.
Relax. As those bloggers who have met me can attest, I’m perfectly harmless.
Of course, they said that about Jeffrey Dahmer as well…
Boyfriends (and fiances and husbands): calm down. If you’re that insecure that you think my comments are going to lure your lady fair away from you and into my hairy arms – you’ve got bigger fish to fry than my little ol’ list. If you think she needs you to defend her honour, you’re probably missing the point.
This is no slight against Megan’s globe conquering blog or the admittedly very beautiful woman behind it, but a political protest against her beardest Sexiest Male Travelers Alive count-down. While a number of the men on the list sport admirable stubble, there’s not a single full beard to be found. This is an outrage!
While we’re at it, I think there’s a bit of anti-ginger bias in there as well.
I’m sure some of you will make the argument that I’m just upset at being spurned, but I’m not. I swear!
Definitely not sour grapes. Definitely not.
Clelia Mattana – Keep Calm and Travel
Last year’s runaway winner has politely requested to be removed from contention this year so as not to hurt the feelings of the other girls, but I’d be remiss to not at least mention the stunning Italian lass behind Keep Calm and Travel makes it bloody hard to keep calm when she’s looking ridiculously good in every photo she posts.
The irrepressible traveler has also been kind enough to help drum up nominees in between her brash flirtation with Ryan from Lost Boy Memoirs.
Ally Toulec – I’m a Finatic
Ally would be a real contender for the top ten if it weren’t for the fact her blog technically doesn’t exist yet! She’s assured me that I Am a Finatic will be out in April for all of your sustainable travel and aquatic adventure needs.
I had a bunch of inappropriate scuba related sexual innuendo here, but I’m classier than that.
39. Agness Walewinder – eTramping
When she isn’t stirring up entire nations complaining about their food, Agness is being a budget conscious Polish beauty who travels the world on $25 a day. Given I spent $25 today on my (admittedly delicious) savoury waffles at brunch, I think I could use her budgeting advice.
I think every guy out there got excited when they found out she wasn’t dating Cez (the other half of her site), but she’s (sadly) spoken for, so I guess I’ll have to continue my search for a woman whose last name is bad-ass enough that I’d totally take it on after marriage.
Last year, my (admittedly inappropriate) comments stirred the ire of this American beauty’s boyfriend, so I’m going to play it safe in 2015.
Valeri seems like a very nice, intelligent, and objectively attractive woman. I am sure she has many admirable traits. She also used an Adventure Time image on her site, and so gets 10 times the awesome points.
37. Mimsie Ladner – Seoul Searching
It’s a rare woman who shares my love of South Korea, and my folks seem to love the place even more. With her site dedicated to all things Korean, Mimsie seems like one I should quickly introduce to my parents as soon as humanly possible.
This pretty southern gal has fallen head over heels in love with the country that gave me my start in travel, and I can only imagine her excellent taste will extend to appreciating a good beard.
36. Seattle Dredge – Seattle’s Travels
It’s a crying shame there aren’t more stunningly gorgeous ginger travel bloggers out there, but Seattle from the evergreen Seattle’s Travels more than compensates for their rarity.
She appeared once before as a shared entry with another red headed writer, but gets her own spot this time
35. Melissa Shearer – The Mellyboo Project
My favourite Canadian is a three time former Diva Cup winner and just about the only girl I know who would even contemplate letting me use poutine in foreplay, and is also the woman who introduced me to the term ‘top sheet’.
She wasn’t kind enough to demonstrate it, mind; but she gets points for expanding my vocabulary and inspiring me to put item #249 on my bucket list.
Of course, she’s since coupled up and moved on to bigger and better things, but I sure am glad I kept in touch with this brilliant (and buxom) brunette.
34. Audrey Bergner – That Backpacker
I’ve got a lot of time for any girl who can acknowledge the greatness of a bit of ginger, and Audrey committed fully to the ginger cause when she married Nomadic Samuel. Together, the two world travelers and ESL teachers are forging something of a travel blogging empire.
I know which way the winds blowing. I’d rather be with them than against them.
33. Lyndsay Anne – Discount Travel Blogger
I am absolutely dire when it comes to budgeting, so I’m hoping that I can get the self-professed discount travel blogger to teach me a few things about how to travel without running up my credit card for the fourth time.
She’s taken mahout training in the past as well, so I’m hoping that the transition from one large, unpleasant smelling mammal to another won’t be too difficult. Just as long as she doesn’t use the bamboo stick too often.
P.S. My safe word is pineapple.
32. Lebawit Lily Girma – Sunshine and Stilettos
A beauty out of Africa who went from solving legal problems to traveling the world, the multitalented Lily is a gifted photographer whose work has been seen in such publications as the Guardian and Lonely Planet, as well as being the official photographer from a number of Caribbean tourism boards. This is a girl who is going places, and there’s nothing quite as attractive as talent and passion.
31. Christina Ka’aloa – Grrrl Traveler
As if being a stunningly talented solo female traveler and video blogger wasn’t inspiration enough, Christine from Grrrl Traveler is also a fellow thespian.
I’m not going to go into who is the more successful actor (I’ll have you know I was in an unproduced Chinese sitcom, young lady), but can you imagine the raw talent our (hopefully in no way resembling their father) babies would have? They’d take the world by storm!