Articles – Page 87 – Aussie on the Road

A Day in the Happiest Place on Earth

September 11, 2012 14 Comments

July, 1994, St Matthews Catholic School, Mudgee, Australia

It’s a chilly winter morning in Mudgee and a much younger, more naive Chris is sitting outside of the fifth grade classroom listening as cooler students discuss their recent winter holidays.

“We went to Bali,” Peter Flynn boasts to the small crowd gathered to hear the telling, “We spent every day at the beach”.

“That’s pretty cool,” Nicholas Cox concedes, “But we went to DisneyWorld”.

A collective awed silence falls over the group. Disney World – the apex of the child holiday pyramid. And suddenly my two weeks at Byron Bay on the NSW north coast doesn’t seem so cool. But then again, not being cool is something ten year old Chris is used to.

At that moment, I have a bizarrely clear memory of knowing that I’d never get to see Disney World. My family weren’t in the income bracket to make something like that happen and – in an emo moment that came years before the emo obsession swept the teenage world – I just didn’t think good things like that would ever happen to me.

You see, Disney World wasn’t just some cool vacation idea to an oft bullied and regularly overlooked kid with buck teeth, too many freckles, and a god awful mess of semi curly brown hair. Disney World symbolized a better life and being a better person. To that ten year old fifth grader, Disney World was the wavering mirage that never seemed to get any closer.

And I’d never get the chance to go there.

A Moment of Transformation

It didn’t really sink in until I was standing by the statue of Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse with an over sized sweet tea in one hand and my camera in the other. A sea of tourists eddied and whirled around me as I gawked up at the fairy tale castle like the hayseed that we Australians well and truly are when it comes to the world at large.

Disney Fairy Tale Castle — Just an Aussie guy in front of a castle. No biggie.

I’d been at the Disney Resort for the better part of an hour, but it didn’t really feel like I was anywhere special as of yet. Through the sun-baked car-park, the crowded ferry across to the resort, and the seemingly unending line to get into the park – it felt like just another theme park.

I was underwhelmed not only by the park, but also by the fulfillment of some half-formed childhood dream. This day should have meant more to me, but it was just another stinking hot Florida day and I was just another tourist in the world’s largest theme park.

But something changed when music began to blare out of the speakers and Disney characters began to arrive on brightly colored floats escorted by dancers smiling impossibly big smiles. Nobody could ever be as happy as those singers and dancers, but a strange thing happened as they circled the statue:

I started to feel that happy.

Disney World parade — The parade begins!

Disney parade clown — The enthusiasm of Disney employees is infectious

I can’t explain it in any way that makes sense. There was an infectiousness about the music and the dancing and the singing and the way the eyes of children lit up as Mickey Mouse deigned to wave at them or Buzz Lightyear looked in their direction. And all at once I wasn’t a twenty eight year old Aussie guy on vacation – I was that awkward ten year old and I was where I had always wanted to be.

I’m only slightly embarrassed to say that I felt the tell-tale prick of tears threatening to trickle out as I took it all in, but you best believe a burly Aussie lad like me was quick to wipe them away before anybody saw.

Disney World was no longer just another theme park. It suddenly did feel like the happiest place on earth that it claims to be.

I’m Going to Disney World!

How had this all come to pass? That requires another brief flash-back…

It’s winter. Again. In a darkened apartment, 2003 Chris is huddled over his garish pink iMac frantically tapping out another angst-ridden poem in dedication to his lost ‘love’ of three months the previous summer. The cold of Mudgee mornings has been traded in for the bitter chill of Armidale nights and I’m in the very middle of what I like to call my ’emo phase’.

I whiled away those late, lonely nights alternating between writing poetry on AllPoetry and chatting with various girls around the world on MSN. Those were the days of my long distance romance with Delia, my often steamy chats with a girl from Adelaide, and countless hours spent talking with a best friend – Bridget – who I’d never meet.

It was also the time when I started talking to Candy, a fellow poet who lived in Florida. To this day, she’s the only one of my online friends from that time that I’ve been lucky enough to meet. And she just happened to work at Disney and could get her hands on a few free passes…

I’ll talk more about my experience meeting Candy (and other ‘online friends’) in a future entry, promise! But we’re here to talk about Disney World.

Exploring Disney World

I’m not going to bore you with a blow by blow of my day in the Magic Kingdom. Let’s be honest, the internet is littered with guides to the world’s most famous theme park and how to exploit Fast Pass or save a buck.

Below, you’ll find a series of pictures and my observations from the day. Perhaps someday I’ll put together a ‘guide’ to Disney World, but for now I’ll leave that to more educated minds than mine. I didn’t even get a chance to ride Space Mountain, for God’s sake!

Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse — The statue where I made the transformation from cynical 28 year old to wide-eyed 8 year old.

Once the music had died down and the performers had gone back to wherever it is performers go when they’re not performing, it was time to actually explore the park. Despite the sunny day it was actually not too busy as we made our way into Adventureland to see what was on offer there.

Adventureland, Disney — Entering the first stop of the day – Adventureland

Swiss Family Robinson House — Exploring the Swiss Family Robinson house. Haven’t never seen the movies, this was a bit ‘meh’. I’m sure my folks would have loved it.

The Enchanted Tiki Room may be a bit cheesy with its animatronic birds and songs, but it’s a cute little escape from the sweltering Florida heat.

While the ride selection at Disney World isn’t comparable to a Six Flags or a Kings Dominion, it makes up for that in atmosphere and with its wonderful live shows. We checked out the Enchanted Tiki Lounge, rode the Jungle River Boats, experienced Pirates of the Caribbean, and had a chat with a lovely Disney employee before moving on.

Me and Goofy — Goofy and I hanging out at Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirates of the Caribbean was my first brush with how Disney World differentiates itself from other, thrill-centric parks. While the ride itself is not particularly scary or exciting – the attention to detail is utterly enchanting. From the animatronics to the simple effects used to simulate fire or movement to the very cool theme of the whole place. The addition of Jack Sparrow ties in nicely with the movies, but the ride has a storyline of its own. Burning port towns, ships exchanging cannon fire… it’s just a fantastic ride. It’s more experience than thrill, and it’s the only ride I also queued up for when visiting Disney Land later in the trip.

Jungle Cruise at Disney World — The Jungle Cruise may be a little tame, but I loved the pun rich commentary provided by our guide.

Our next stop was the colonial themed area that encompasses two of the park’s more famous rides (Splash Mountain and the Thunder Mountain ride) as well as hosting the Hall of Presidents and our lunch venue. Food at Disney World has a good enough amount of variety, but it’s neither cheap nor particularly healthy. I settled for a bland cheese burger and we were on our way again.

Thank God for Fast Pass, by the way. I could not have stood in hour plus queues to ride in the heat.

I got a real kick out of Splash Mountain. Songs of the South is one of the first Disney movies I remember seeing, and it was fun to see the characters come back to life. It ranks as one of the better flume rides I’ve been on as well – I got utterly drenched on the plunge at the end.

Thunder Mountain is a fun little coaster as well. It’s not overly scary, but the twists and turns are fun and it’s again got a wonderfully set up theme that is persistent throughout. Much better than other ‘themed’ roller coasters at more thrill focused parks.

The shows at Disney World were a highlight for me. While animatronic may seem a little tacky, there’s no faulting the production values – especially of the impressive (and inspirational) Hall of Presidents. My personal favorite with the Philharmagic 4-D experience. It was just beautifully done and featured a lot of my favourite films from growing up. It was a little bit enchanting to see Ariel, Simba, and Aladdin bouncing around right in front of me.

The amusing (and slightly inappropriate) Country Bear Jamboree pokes fun at stereotypes of Southerners and rednecks.

The Hall of Presidents (narrated by Morgan Freeman, no less) is a moving and quite wonderful tribute to American patriotism. I’m envious of that.

Short queues meant that, largely, we were able to experience all the park had to offer before the sun had even set. Sure, we didn’t browse every shop and we had to give Space Mountain a miss because of its criminally long line – but we still hit a lot of the big ones. We experienced the sugary sweetness of It’s a Small World, the outdated techno-babble of Walt Disney’s pet project, and the very cool effects inside the Haunted House.

That one warrants special mention too. Even the line was fun! With humorous headstones, interactive things along the way, and the occasional surprise – even lining up felt like a part of the ride. And the ride itself? I loved the use of projections and stuff – much more evocative than cheap thrills and pop out ‘monsters’.

It's a Small World — It’s a small (and not particularly interesting) world

Australia, It's a Small World — Australia’s meager representation on the It’s a Small World ride will be the subject of a STRONGLY WORDED LETTER

Lining up for my second favorite ride of the day, The Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion queue — One of many little diversions along the way. They made the wait much less painful.

Haunted Mansion Organ — This organ was fantastic. You could touch an instrument carved onto the side and it would play a corresponding tune. Very groovy.

Any day at Disney World needs to end with the fireworks spectacular. With sweet tea in hand and a belly full of remarkably good hot dog, we staked out a bit of curb for the triple threat that ends a night at Disney World – the Electric Parade, the Magic Moments projections onto the enchanted castle, and the fireworks to wrap it all up.

Enchanted Castle at twilight — The Enchanted Castle acts as canvas for a saccharine sweet ‘Magic Moments’ show that precedes the fireworks.

Electric Parade, Disney World — The colorful and cheery Electric Parade is a cute way to wrap up the day. Some innovative floats too.

Disney World fireworks — I hate that I forgot my tripod for the fireworks!

As the last boom of the fireworks echoed in the night sky, Candy grabbed me by the arm and lead us in a mad rush for the front gate. While the park would remain open another two hours, we were ready to call it a day. Bone weary and a little sunburned, we made our way back to the car and continued on into the city to have a few drinks.

My day at Disney World was the culmination of a near twenty-year daydream that a much less bald, much less bearded CWB had first day-dreamed on a chilly winter morning in Mudgee. And while I’d gone in skeptical, I came out a believer.

Disney World may really be the Happiest Place in the World.

Your Say

Have you ever been to a Disney park? What did you think?

Maybe you took a school trip to Disney Land Paris or Tokyo Disney?

And what was your earliest travel dream? Can you remember where the kid version of you desperately wanted to go?

Countdowns, Photo of the Week

My Five Favorite Places to Take Photos

September 9, 2012 8 Comments

The Best Places to Take Photos

I’ve been blessed over my years of travel with some truly remarkable places to take photos. From the Grand Canyon in 2009 to the beauty of the Hainan province in China, there’s certainly been no shortage of opportunities to get out my camera and try to do justice to the beauty that the world has to offer.

I was recently contacted by my friend Steve from PhotoFly Travel Club about a bit of cross promotion. PhotoFly Travel Club is a social travel club that takes its members out to places that offer stunning photo opportunities, so it made sense that I finally get around to sharing some of my own favorite places to take photos.

Without further ado, here’s my list!

#5 – Multnomah Falls, Oregon, USA

I’ve been lucky enough to visit Multnomah Falls in Oregon twice now – once in 2009 and again when I was in the United States recently. To say that it is a breath-taking waterfall does it an injustice. It’s just beautiful every single time I see it.

There’s something almost fantastical about the way the bridge cuts in front of the falls that puts me in mind of Peter Jackson’s envisioning of the Lord of the Rings books, and the bright greens that surround the falls just ‘pop’ in a way that my camera never quite does justice to.

Multnomah Falls bridge — Does this not just scream Aragon and Arwen kissing on a bridge to you?

As if the towering falls weren’t impressive enough, the entire Colombia River Gorge offers a number of wonderful photo opportunities. The river itself cuts its way through bald hills sometimes adorned with the almost intimidating frames of wind turbines, but the real beauty is to be found along the old highway that leads to Multnomah Falls. A number of other waterfalls are hidden back in the dense greenery and there’s a few choice scenic spots along the way as well.

While I was awed by the Grand Canyon and Yosemite, there’s just something about the green and the wet of Multnomah Falls that always calls me back. It’s as if it were put there solely to be photographed.

#4 – Daewonsa, Jeollanamdo, South Korea

South Korea is perhaps not a country that leaps to mind when you think of beautiful scenery. The heavily urbanized and industrialized nation was not blessed with the depth of landscape that other countries might have been.

That’s not to say there isn’t a stark beauty to be found in the many mountain parks of South Korea or the often cold and windswept coastlines, but I always found photos of South Korea were a dour lot more often than not.

Of course, there are some great places to take photos. Jejudo is an island province that does boast some picturesque locales such as Sunrise Peak, Hala San, and its volcanic black sand beaches. In fact, it was originally going to occupy #4 on my list – but then I remembered Daewonsa.

I’ve spoken briefly about my visit to the Tibetan Buddhist temple outside of Gwangju briefly in the past, but I feel like words won’t ever really do it justice. With its ponds and bubbling brooks and simple decoration, the temple managed to escape the adage that ‘all temples look the same’. Even three years on from my visit there on a sweaty summer afternoon in 2009, I still feel a sense of calm when I look over my photos from that visit.

The entrance to Daewonsa. I love the contrast of the greens and the colored fabric.

You’ll again notice that vibrant greens are something that really draws my eye, but I hope the tranquility of the place is carried across too. It was one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen during my travels.

#3 – Big Sur, California, USA

Route 1 up the United States’ west coast is not just a brilliant road trip, but it also hosts #3 on my list of favorite photo opportunities. The stretch of road that leads up to Monterey (or out of Monterey, if you’re heading south) is among some of the most visually spectacular road I’ve ever had the pleasure of driving. Well, being driven on…

The highway hugs the cliffs that overhang the vast grey of the Pacific Ocean while often ominous skies hang overhead and make for some perfect shots. The churning of the sea against the rocks, the brilliant vistas one can find along the way, and the rolling green hills are complemented by the bridges along the way.

Chief among these is Bixby Bridge, which I visited during my visit to California in late July. Far from diminishing the natural beauty of the coastline, Bixby Bridge seems to enhance it. I could have spent far more than the 30 or 40 minutes I spent out there just snapping photos and feeling the wind in my beard hair. Even the traffic zooming by couldn’t take away from the serenity of it.

#2 – Fjordlands National Park, New Zealand

New Zealand could very well have taken up every spot on this list. If any country was formed by God with an eye towards giving photographers the world around a thousand places to take photos, New Zealand is surely the place. There is such a tremendous breadth to the variety of terrain in New Zealand that it’s entirely possible to photograph glaciers, towering fjords, dense forests, vast plains, and stormy coastlines in a few days. Where else in the world is that possible?

But my pick of the lot would have to be the Fjordlands, home to the world famous Milford Sound. The towering cliffs, carved out by glaciers, are ominous as they oversee all that occurs below. Stubborn plants cling to their craggy faces while below seals and dolphins play in the icy waters of the Tasman Sea. Mists cling to the low ground and snow dusts the high even at the height of summer – and that’s just the drive to and from Milford Sound!

The mists cling to the hills in the Fjordlands National Park. Photo by Fallon Fehringer.

It’s a daydream of mine to someday explore the width and breadth of the mountainous national park on New Zealand’s south island. I feel like I saw only the smallest sample of its beauty when I visited in 2010.

#1 – Xinjiang, China

Where? Is that near Beijing?

Xinjiang is probably China’s best kept secret – a vast province of scorching deserts, seemingly unending grass plains, crystal clear mountain lakes, and towering snow-capped peaks – Xinjiang is about as far from how society pictures China as a place can get.

I was lucky enough to spend a week in Xinjiang earlier this year and the entire place just begs to be photographed. The dusty ghettos of Kashgar were a launching pad for our visually over-awing two day drive along the Karakorum Highway to the Pakistan border.

Yurt Xinjiang — A yurt in the mountains of Xinjiang

Along the way we saw mountains of red, mountains of sand, and the more ‘traditional’ snow capped giants. We paused to fight off hypothermia by the shores of Lake Karakul, saw a Kyrgyzstan festival outside of Tashgorkan, threw snowballs in the mountain passes, ate still sizzling lamb from skewers in the market town of Opal, and wandered a boardwalk over land reclaimed from ancient nomadic peoples.

Water wheel — A water wheel turns lazily upon the Golden Grasslands in Xinjiang.

I came back from the week long trip with well in excess of 500 photos and it could have been so many more if I’d thought to bring extra batteries for my Canon. The place just begs to be photographed, and I’m determined to go back sometime and oblige it.

The Gallery

One of the many waterfalls that empty into Milford Sound. Photo by Fallon Fehringer.

Seals at play (or at sleep) at Milford Sound. Photo by Fallon Fehringer.

The high cliffs and dark waters of Milford Sound are a stunning combination. Photo by Fallon Fehringer.

The mists cling to the hills in the Fjordlands National Park. Photo by Fallon Fehringer.

The sun behind the gong gives this an almost ‘heavenly’ feel.

I spent the better part of half an hour just sitting in this pagoda – listening to the stream bubble underneath me and the birds tweeting above. It was so serene.

The pond at Daewonsa and the simple fabric decoration really works together.

The entrance to Daewonsa. I love the contrast of the greens and the colored fabric.

A water wheel turns lazily upon the Golden Grasslands in Xinjiang.

The famous Stone Fort in Tashgorkan, Xinjiang.

Looking down on the Golden Grasslands in Tashgorkan, Xinjiang.

The icy waters of Lake Karakul and the icier mountains beyond.

Lake Karakul in the foreground and some of China’s highest mountains in the background.

The sand mountains – boasting both sand *and* snow. Crazy!

A yurt in the mountains of Xinjiang

Loved the rocky coast.

Bixby Bridge doesn’t take away from the natural beauty. If anything, it complements it.

The rocky coastline in northern California affords some great photo opportunities.

The green around Multnomah Falls makes it really stand out to me.

Staring down from the top of the falls. Interesting perspective, eh?

Does this not just scream Aragon and Arwen kissing on a bridge to you?

The Colombia River Gorge by morning is absolutely beautiful.

Your Say

Where are your most photogenic places in the world? It was a hard task for me to narrow it down to just five. The Great Barrier Reef, Tea Gardens in NSW, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite National Park, Jejudo, Hainan, and the Australian Outback were all unlucky omissions.

What are your most photogenic places in the world?

Egypt, Travel Daydream

Travel Daydream: Egypt

September 5, 2012 6 Comments

Travel back in time and you’ll find a CWB with entirely different daydreams. Eight year old Chris daydreamed about virtual reality. Ten year old Chris daydreamed about Hero Quest and Crossbows & Catapults and other such fantasy themed board games. Chris aged twelve through twenty three daydreamed about boobs, kisses, and sappy notions of soul-mates and true love.

But while travel is a love I came by relatively late in life, that isn’t to say I haven’t fostered fantasies about certain countries along the way. One of them – the United States – I’ve been lucky enough to visit twice in the past few years.

The other – Egypt – remains a travel daydream, and it is this daydream I share with you today. It’s a warm and sunny Wednesday in provincial Lianyungang (more on that later) and I’m contemplating just what to do with my month long Spring Festival vacation in January. Egypt is fast firming as a real contender and below you’ll find why.

The History

Before any interest in travel had formed, my young mind was utterly fascinated with history. While my peers were gawking at Golden Books or Mr. Man picture books, I was leafing through my father’s dusty collection of atlases and books of unsolved mysteries.

While there was allure in the Incan ruins and the ancient mystery of Stone Henge, it was the vastness of the Egyptian pyramids that grabbed me. Their funerary rites, their animal headed gods, and their vast monuments really spoke to me as well.

The day I stand in front of the pyramids at Giza or visit the Valley of the Kings, I’ll feel a real sense of accomplishment at having fulfilled my very first travel dream. And while it may not compare with the dizzying feeling of over-awed realization I experienced when I first arrived in South Korea back in 2007, I am sure it will be a close second and make for a much more memorable travel tale.

Travellers the world around are drawn to Egypt each year to see the ancient wonders, and while the Pyramids are obviously the top attraction – there’s a lot to be said for the Valley of the Kings and the startling beauty of the temples of Karnak as well. It’s remarkably affordable to take a hot air balloon ride over the Valley of the Kings, and the temple complex at Karnak is perhaps even more representative of Egyptian culture than the pyramids or the sphinx could ever hope to be. For lovers of history, the temple complex at Karnak is a must.

Hot air balloon over Luxor — Is there a better way to take in Egypt than from a hot air balloon?

Tourist traps they may be, but you’re no true traveller if the Egyptian historic sites don’t hold some appeal for you.

The Cities

But to say Egypt starts and ends at its historic sites would be doing the country a great disservice. There is more to Egypt than its history, although much of it is often overshadowed by talk of Pharoahs and dynasties and ancient wars.

While Cairo obviously stands out as the obvious choice, don’t neglect to visit beautiful Alexandria. It may not boast the same depth of Egyptian history that its more famed cousin does, but Roman history mixes in with Egyptian history in Alexandria in a way you won’t find anywhere else. Pay a visit to the ancient Catacombs of Kom el-Shugafa beneath the city or one of its many museums or coliseums and you’ll be treated to an entirely different kind of cultural experience.

alexandria sunset — Alexandria may not be as famous as Cairo, but it’s got it beat for beauty. Photo by J Abadie.

Cairo itself boasts all manner of attractions ranging from museums to massive open air bazaars to complement its close proximity to the legendary pyramids and the enigmatic sphinx. Islamic Cairo is another draw for me, giving an insight into modern Cairo that provides a fascinating contrast to the ancient world we’re more familiar with from history books and documentaries.

The Natural Beauty

It’s perhaps Egypt’s natural beauty that is most often overlooked. Picture Egypt and you’re likely to imagine sand dunes, camels, and ancient ruins; and while that’s technically a correct representation of the north African nation, it doesn’t paint the full picture. Egypt’s coast is a stunning departure from its interior – a dazzling playground of coral reefs and picturesque beaches awaits along the shores of the red sea.

Holidays to Sharm el Sheikh are fast becoming a poorly kept secret, but there’s still plenty of reasons to visit the southern tip of Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula. Boasting some of Egypt and the world’s most stunning dive sites, the region is also laden with five star resorts and a rapidly evolving night life that makes it a logical choice for those wanting a more ‘conventional’ break from reality.

One of my readers also speaks glowingly on the subject of paying a visit to Dahab in the country’s north. Another Red Sea location, Louise swears that Dahab has even better scuba diving than its more famous southern neighbor. That’s a pretty ringing endorsement and one I’d like to investigate. Boasting a less touristy feel, it’s possible to spend a day diving and a night enjoying traditional Egyptian foods and experiencing Bedouin culture. A perfect compromise for those wanting a beach vacation without all of the trappings that come with tourism hot-spots.

If diving isn’t your thing, there’s also this little known body of water called The Nile. I wrote at length about my fascination with the world’s most famous river in the past, and a river cruise down the Nile offers a wonderfully memorable way to see the country.

Mention must also go to the deserts of Egypt as well. Tours of Egypt’s Western Desert are a welcome escape from the crowds that flood into Cairo and its surrounds every year, and let you see a world mostly untouched by man. Experiencing nomadic life up close and personal should be an experience every traveler worth their salt has at some point, and the Western Desert has no shortage of tours offering just that.

Your Say

If this article didn’t make it clear to you, you may notice that I’ve written in the past about my fascination with Egypt as well. Check out my comparison of Egypt vs Turkey sometime if you’re keen to learn more about different things to do in Egypt.

What was your very first travel dream? Is Egypt on your bucket list like it is mine? Or is there another country that holds first place in your daydreams?

bucket list, Florida, United States

Attending TNA Destination X (Bucket List Item #73)

September 1, 2012 14 Comments

I can’t quite explain what it is that draws me to pro wrestling. I know it’s fake. I realize that the ‘storylines’ are often even less plausible (and more poorly acted) than tragic daytime TV like Days of our Lives and Passions.

But in spite of all of that – or maybe because of it – I’ve been hooked ever since I first saw The Rock take on Steve Blackman on an episode of Monday Night Raw back in 1999. I was still an awkward, nerdy kid (as opposed to a nerdy adult sans the awkward) and my mate Magro was one of the first people in my sleepy hometown to get cable TV. I’d regularly stay the night on a Tuesday so I could do two things:

Watch wrestling
Perve in a totally non creepy way as the girl I liked played touch football across the road

Since those days it’s become something of an on again/off again fascination. It’s not so much the matches or the promos that I enjoy – it’s the whole business. The politics behind it, the up and comers, the guys who have overstayed their welcome, the backstage antics, and the wheeling and dealing as different promotions try to become #1.

I started watching when it was WWF and WCW, and while WCW is long gone, I’ve still found alternatives to the often hokey (and always frustrating) WWE/F product. One of these was TNA, who just happened to have a PPV (pay per view) called Destination X on the very night I arrived in Orlando. It was kismet.

Sold Out

After saying my temporary goodbyes to Heather, I met my friend Candy for the first time. We’d been chatting online since 2003 or so, so it was surreal to finally put a face to the late night university MSN conversations. She’d originally planned a night of drinking to welcome me to Orlando, but I begged and pleaded and she was happy to tag along to the wrestling.

You can imagine the way my heartbreak when we arrived and saw a collosal line. I’d been assured all day via Twitter that their shows never sold out, but a stern faced woman approached and I knew it wasn’t going to be my day. It seems Destination X is a particularly popular event.

“Do you two have tickets?” she asked.

“Uh…”

I was resigned to missing out. To have come so close and miss out was going to destroy me a little, but I’d have other opportunities.

“But my friend came all the way from Australia!” Candy lied.

“Hold on a second,” the woman replied. Moments later, she came back with a ticket for me and ushered me down to the back of the queue. Candy followed me and somehow, we both got let in.

“There aren’t any seats left,” Candy noticed as we got into the smoky arena.

“You can go stand up by the ring,” a helpful attendant suggested.

Ringside? I get to stand ringside for my first wrestling show? Hell fucking yes!

Crowd at Destination X — You can see here just how close I am to the ring. Fantastic ‘seats’

Now, I could bore you with play by play results of a wrestling show populated by guys you’ve probably never heard of, but I thought sharing some of my favorite photos from the night would be better. Enjoy!

TNA Destination X 2012

The majority of the ‘card’ (schedule) for Destination X would feature TNA’s ‘X-Division’ roster. This is ostensibly a collection of smaller, lightweight wrestlers who work (wrestle) a more high flying style. The focus in these matches is on pace, wowing audiences with seemingly (and often genuinely) dangerous moves, and showcasing the flexibility and agility of some very talented workers from around the world.

These matches also serve a very valuable purpose in the live experience. The high speed and more dazzling style of the matches works to get a crowd excited and fired up for later matches between bigger names. When these bigger names tend to be literally bigger and also older, it pays to have the crowd already in a good mood to build atmosphere.

Mason Andrews and Kenny King, Destination X 2012 — Mason Andrews and Kenny King moments before they plumet to the mat with a double neckbreaker.

The above image really illustrates for me why calling wrestling ‘fake’ is such a misnomer. While the results are pre-planned and a lot of the hits are not legitimate, there is still a very real risk of injury. The performer above, Sonjay Dutt, fell badly earlier in this match and dislocated his shoulder. Being all man, he then popped it back into place and completed the match as planned.

While outcomes are decided in advance, the actual content of a match is often changed on the fly to take into account audience reaction and legitimate injuries to competitors.

Bigger Names, Bigger Matches

A well built card intersperses the high flying and often storyline free matches with higher profile bouts. Feuds (several month long programs between two or more personalities and usually involving a cheesy storyline) and dream matches are the matches that sell a pay-per-view event, but they don’t always deliver thrills.

I was lucky enough to see a number of these matches at Destination X really deliver. A bloody ‘grudge match’ between TNA mainstays AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels, a technical masterpiece between Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe, and a main event match that featured two very talented wrestlers and storytellers doing the classic ‘plucky good guy against unbeatable bad guy’ storyline.

The enthusiasm of a crowd is vital to an event as well. A silent crowd can make an otherwise good match seem slow and boring, while a ‘hot’ crowd can turn an average match into something far more memorable.

Being in the live crowd, it’s hard not to cheer for the good guy or boo the bad guy. It’s all very vaudevillian and reminds me of how Shakespeare’s theater must have felt with the crowd hissing at villains and cheering raucously for the heroes of the pieces.

If you’ve ever watched pro-wrestling (or played a cheesy combat game) you’re aware that most workers have a ‘finisher’ – a move that typically ends a match.

But wrestlers also have signature moves. These are akin to character traits, and help make a wrestler’s matches feel a little more personable. These become familiar sign-posts in matches that fans can react to, and work to engage the crowd.

Below you’ll see a series of pictures featuring a bloody battle between Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles. Daniels is playing the ‘heel’ (bad guy) and is renowned for doing this with a kind of Machiavellian evil. AJ Styles is the ‘face’ (short for babyface, which means good guy) and this suits him. Not a very charismatic guy, he lets his in ring work win over fans.

Aside from obvious character differences, there is also a difference in the way a heel or babyface will work a match. The heel, as part of his role as the villain, will often resort to underhanded means such as low blows, raking the eyes, refusing a handshake, or having an outsider interfere. They also rely on ‘rest holds’ (holds that both slow down the match and allow the workers to discuss what comes next) far more. The majority of bad guys are played as big talkers but cowards.

A babyface will play to all that is good and noble. They generally (with a few notable exceptions) follow the rules, they perform more daring moves, and generally stand up for one another. The majority of good guys are played as noble guys who will stand up for the little guy.

The Main Event

The evening’s main event would pit two of TNA’s home grown stars against one another. Bobby Roode, a Canadian born wrestler who has been in the company for several years, has been playing an arrogant and unbeatable bad guy for a long time now. He wins by any means necessary and has beaten big names including Kurt Angle and Sting during his reign.

Austin Aries, who only joined the company about a year earlier, has risen rapidly and despite playing a bad guy – won over the crowds and had recently become a good guy by default. He plays an arrogant, cocky good guy rather than a needlessly noble one – and the crowd loves it.

To describe the atmosphere as electric doesn’t do it justice. I’ve been to live sports before and seen big matches played, and it really does compare quite well. Despite knowing it is fake – you seldom really know who will win, and when you’re a fan of the game like I am – you’re constantly second guessing it.

Who does the company see as the best money maker down the line? Who sells the most merchandise? Who offers the company the most options when it comes to future matches?

It’s more than just sweaty guys wrestling in spandex. There’s a whole business beneath the bravado that fascinates me, and it only served to make me enjoy the night all the more.

Austin Aries cocky — Austin Aries showboats to the crowd’s delight

Bobby Roode Austin Aries — Bobby Roode disrespects Aries (and frustrates the crowd) by rubbing his boot in Aries’ face

Austin Aries flies — Austin Aries comes off the top rope with a double ax handle

Caption This — This one amused me. Come up with your own caption!

Austin Aries wins — The crowd goes crazy as Austin Aries celebrates his win

1….

2….

3….

If I thought being at Destination X was a memorable experience, it was something else entirely to be in the crowd when my favorite wrestler picked up the win and his first world title. The crowd erupted as loudly as I’d ever heard at a football game, but it was all the louder for being in a small TV studio.

A well worked pro wrestling match is more than just two sweaty guys in tights beating one another up. It’s a metaphor for the greater struggle of good vs evil. There’s a reason that we get behind the good guy and loathe the bad guy, and it’s more than just social convention.

Professional wrestling, aimed at the everyman, plays to our love of seeing the good guy or little guy triumph over somebody who has achieved their own success unfairly. The bad guys are symbols for our bosses, the tax men, bullies, law-makers, and politicians who we often feel victimised by – and the good guy? That’s us. That’s the little guy winning and good old fashioned morals triumphing over greed and injustice.

Whether at the end of the day you watch it for the matches, the story lines, the girls, the guys, the business, or the escape from reality it offers – professional wrestling is an often abhorred and always under-appreciated form of theater. It exists somewhere between the circus, the freak show, the sport, and the play – and I love that weird little crossroads it exists at.

There’s electricity in professional wrestling. There’s a kind of tribal power to the way we live vicariously through these men and women who walk the line between actor, athlete, dancer, and artist. I don’t mean to paint them as more than they are – but if you’re at all familiar with the business, you’ll know that it’s not the easy job some might imagine.

Your Say

The whole experience was great fun. There’s a real carnival meets sports event atmosphere to the whole thing, and it was really great to see guys I’ve watched on TV for over a decade now live and in person.

Another fun experience was starting chants during matches and having the crowd catch on. It’s a kind of solidarity you form with your fellow attendees when you all get behind a good guy or cheer on a bad guy because, well, he’s just so much more fun than the good guy.

By night’s end my throat was hoarse, my head light from yelling, and my wallet even lighter for having picked up some souvenir shirts. But damned if it wasn’t a good time.

Have you ever been to a live professional wrestling event?

Interested in Attending?

If seeing live professional wrestling intrigues you, you can see it for free while in Orlando. Impact Wrestling films their weekly show, TNA Impact, at Universal Studios every Thursday night and admission is free. I’m told it rarely sells out, so you needn’t be there too early.

Pay-per-views, which typically boast higher profile and longer matches, are generally taped once a month on a Sunday evening and are also free. These do sell out though, so get in early and avoid having to lie about how far you’ve really come to see the show.

A live wrestling event, whether you’re a fan of the ‘sport’ or not, really is a truly American experience and one I would recommend regardless of how into the ‘art’ you may be.

Bobby Roode mocks the crowd

Victory! Austin Aries wins his first world title in TNA

Austin Aries comes off the top rope with a double ax handle

The ringside area at TNA Destination X 2012

Kid Kash flies from the top rope in his match

The crowd goes crazy as Austin Aries celebrates his win

Bobby Roode plays a smarmy, wealthy villain to perfection.

Mason Andrews and Kenny King moments before they plumet to the mat with a double neckbreaker.

Kurt Angle suplexes Samoa Joe during their Bound for Glory series match

The ‘Ultimate X’ match is one of TNA’s signature matches

Bobby Roode stalls up top with a standing vertical suplex

Sonjay Dutt wows the crowd with a moonsault during his match at Destination X

Christopher Daniels talks trash to the crowd as he comes out for his rivalry match with AJ Styles

You can see here just how close I am to the ring. Fantastic ‘seats’

Jesse Sorrenson returns from a legitimate neck injury to surprise the crowd.

This one amused me. Come up with your own caption!

Kurt Angle is arguably TNA’s biggest name alongside Hulk Hogan and Sting

Austin Aries locks in a painful looking submission hold

Christopher Daniels earns the crowds ire by getting in the face of fan favorite, AJ Styles

Sonjay Dutt climbs to the top in an attempt to get the title. During the match, he legitimately dislocated his shoulder but finished as best he could.

Samoa Joe punishes Kurt Angle with his finisher – the muscle buster

Austin Aries goes against the ‘noble hero’ stereotype and instead plays a boastful cad who styles himself as ‘best in the world’.

Austin Aries celebrates as the event comes to a close.

Austin Aries showboats to the crowd’s delight

Bobby Roode disrespects Aries (and frustrates the crowd) by rubbing his boot in Aries’ face

China, Nanjing

The First Annual Nanjing Olympics

August 28, 2012 6 Comments

While London 2012 was winding down, we brave few in Nanjing were not content to simply sit back and watch the ‘athletes’ have all of the fun. Midst all of the tears and cheers in the so-called ‘real’ Olympics, some of Nanjing’s finest cricketers (which isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement given the popularity of cricket in China) rose bright and relatively early on a gloomy Saturday morning to contest the first annual Nanjing Olympics.

Foreigner life here in Nanjing generally revolves around weekend drinks and, in the case of the men of Nanjing Nongmin and the aptly named Bogan’s Cricket Club, a game of cricket is usually involved as well. With one of my team’s stalwarts heading back to the US of A to pursue bigger and better things, we’d planned a testimonial match, but cricket doesn’t play so well in the wet. And so it was decided we’d run Nanjing’s first (and possibly last) Nanjing Olympics.

Take that, Nanjing 2014 Youth Olympics!

And back from a far from cheap holiday to the United States, I was determined to bring home a bit of gold to sell off on eBay.

Event #1 – The Beer Sprint

If there was any one event I was confident of winning, it was the individual beer skull. As an Australian, I was basically breastfed with more potent beer than the likes of Tiger, the cheapest beer in China and therefore the one nominated for the event.

But more than that, I pride myself on being able to chug like an absolute champion. I’ve put people to shame in South Korea, Australia, Fiji, New Zealand, China, and the United States in the past and I was feeling quietly confident that in a straight up skull – I had anybody’s number.

But then things got tricky…

Five meter sprint
Vault a bar bench
Five meter run to drinking station
Skull a pint of Tiger
Five meter run back to the bench
Vault bench and sit with hands on knees

A straight up chug had just become something remotely athletic and my choice of footwear was not looking so hot.

The Bogans got off to a flyer with big South African, Kobus finishing in sixteen seconds and hefting the bench above his head in celebration. His efforts were soon overshadowed by the efforts of New Zealand’s Kenyan Squirrel, Hamish. The mad bastard did it all in a shade over 12 seconds!

To make matters worse, Nanjing Nongmin (my cricket club) are not renowned for their drinking prowess. In fact, two of our team were disqualified for strolling to their beers. One of them even had the audacity to light up! Our other two fared little better, and so it fell to me to bring back a little pride.

The moment before the race starts is tense. Sweat beads on my brow, my stomach grumbles, and my taste buds are recoiling in advance. Switching from an ice cold Crown Lager to a sun-warmed Tiger is going to be torture. Brent’s hand drops and we’re off!

I daresay I was the only one on attendance who regularly runs, but damned if running in thongs (flip flops for you American perverts) isn’t a frustrating experience. The chug itself was as quick as I’d have liked, but that last five meters with a belly full of bad beer is torturous. I settled down and waited for my time…

18 seconds!

Beer skull medals — Kobus, Hamish, and myself celebrate our medals in the Individual (Beer) Skull

I would have to settle for bronze in the day’s first event, while the Bogans took a healthy lead as they took out gold, silver, and fourth place as well. But event #2 was a Nongmin specialty. I’m talking…

Nanjing Nongmin Medal Count: 1 (Bronze)
Chris Beer Count: 2 (1 Tiger, 1 Crown Lager)

Event #2 – The Rum Tower Team Skull

Talking 2 is the designated haunt of my co-workers and team-mates, and it’s also our official cricket club. This translates into cheap Tiger (meh) and cheap towers of rum & coke (woohoo). So it was that each team nominated four members to participate in a team chug of an entire barrel of the stuff.

The rules:

One team member starts by filling his glass and drinking.
The next team member cannot start pouring until the empty glass is on the table
First team to completely drain their tower wins

Ready…set…drink! High stakes rum drinking isn’t IOC approved, but it’s a popular event at the Pirate Olympics.

For the Nongmin it was Lynchie, Tony, Azam, and Pat. With Lynchie and Tony the two disqualified for taking too damned long in the individual race, you’d have thought we were no chance, but age and experience shone out over the younger Bogans team and it was won at a landslide. Nongmin didn’t get any gold, but did pick up some valuable points on the tally to decide which ‘nation’ would win the first Nanjing Olympics.

Nanjing Nongmin Medal Count: 1 (Bronze)
Chris Beer Count: 2 (1 Tiger, 1 Crown Lager)

Event #3 – Longest Drive, Golf

The venue for the next event couldn’t have been more perfect, a former Olympic venue of some sort – the converted baseball park had seen better days, but lived on as a golf driving range by the very good German brewery in my neck of Nanjing.

Nanjing Olympics driving range — Inexplicable Olympic logo outside of a seedy driving range. Serendipitous!

The longest drive competition would be divided into brackets and have some pretty simple rules.

Each competitor receives three swings.
A miss counts as a swing.
In the event of a draw, each competitor will have another swing.
The winner of each round would go into the second round.
Second round winners would take part in a three way final where each drive would be measured to decide an overall best total.

Scary baseball field — I had no idea this place even existed, but we’re already in negotiations to host a cricket tournament here under lights.

Prior to that fateful day, I had no idea just how difficult it is to actually hit a fucking golf ball. But there were more complete misses than there were memorable drives, and one nameless South African at one point sent the club about twenty meters farther than the ball.

It didn’t count towards his total.

golf swing — One of the less atrocious efforts of the day. Photo by Kevin Wise.

I’d initially been drawn up against Kev, otherwise known as ‘The Truth’ for his often tall tales. To say it was a cripple fight of epic proportions is an understatement. Golf is definitely not my game, and I’ll continue to ridicule it as a woman’s sport until I learn to play it.

I did somehow make it through to the second round, but the Bogans’ Brent quickly put an end to my dreams with a first up 150m drive that put my own efforts to shame.

golf gold medalists — Lynchie claims the Nongmin’s first gold in the Nanjing Olympics. Photo by Kevin Wise.

But the Nongmin flag would fly highest at event’s end, with Lynchie snaring gold due to some allegedly unscrupulous scoring from one of our team-mates. We weren’t going to complain though, taking out gold while the Bogans had to settle for silver and bronze.

Nanjing Nongmin Medal Count: 2 (1 Gold, 1 Bronze)
Chris Beer Count: 4 (1 Tiger, 1 Crown Lager, 1 Tsing Dao, 1 Budweiser)

Event #4 – Pool

By this stage in the day the beers had been flowing a while and the lads who had competed in the rum skull were definitely looking a little ginger. To make matters worse, nobody had thought to eat anything.

But just like good athletes, we pushed through the pain/inebriation barrier and made our way to the pool hall for the next event.

olympic pool — Look at my fine form! Lining up a (missed) shot in the pool finals. Photo by Kevin Wise.

Now, I am excellent at pool. Unbeatable. Magnificent.

But only after the right amount of beers. One too few or one too many and I am fucking awful. Guess what I was on the day?

Yep, fucking awful.

In more straight elimination, I somehow made it to the three way final after both of my previous opponents had either sunk the black early or sunk the white while on the black. In both cases, I’d had 2-3 balls still on the table.

Pool at the Nanjing Olympics — The crowd gathers to watch Jamie represent the Bogans against Azam in the finals. Photo by Kevin Wise.

The final came down to myself, the Bogans’ Jamie, and our very own Pakistani bringer of pain, Azam. Despite all three of us not having actually legitimately won a game on our way to the final, Jamie pulled out to sterling performances to win back to back games and relegate Azam to silver and myself to bronze. Le sigh.

pool medalists — I snare my second bronze for the day, but it’s Jamie who reigns supreme in the pool tournament of the Nanjing Olympics. Photo by Kevin Wise.

Nanjing Nongmin Medal Count: 4 (1 Gold, 1 Silver, 2 Bronze)
Chris Beer Count: 7 (1 Tiger, 1 Crown Lager, 2 Tsing Dao, 3 Budweiser)

Event #5 – Poker

The second to last event of the day would be a late addition, with ten pin bowling replaced with a bit of four way Texas Hold’Em at Jimmy’s.

New Zealand poker champion — Hamish has on his game face (and his gay hat) in the poker final. Photo by Kevin Wise.

With Poker not exactly being my strong suit (pun intended), I decided to turn my attention to the tower of beer on our table and the Philly Cheese Steak sub I’d ordered. With that much dedication, it’s probably no surprise that I crashed out three hands in and turned my attention to the footy instead.

The final again came down to a mostly Bogans affair, with only Lynchie on hand to represent Nongmin in the tournament’s decider. The little Aussie battler added a bronze medal to his day’s haul while Hamish grabbed his second gold and Canada’s own Troy (the Wonderboy) snatched an unlikely silver.

poker medalists — Troy, Hamish, and Lynchie celebrating their performance in the Nanjing Olympics’ poker tournament. Photo by Kevin Wise.

Nanjing Nongmin Medal Count: 5 (1 Gold, 1 Silver, 3 Bronze)
Chris Beer Count: 10? (3 Tiger, 1 Crown Lager, 2 Tsing Dao, 4 Budweiser)

Event #7 – Trivia

The final event of the evening was another I was quite confident of taking out. Growing a fucking epic beard is not my only talent – I’ve also got a great memory for utterly useless trivia. Whether it’s venomous snakes, foreign capitals, famous people, or coupon codes – I have this frustratingly inapplicable level of knowledge that finds its home in drunken trivia competitions.

It was more straight elimination and I cruised through using superior intellect and superior sobriety (if you can believe it) to brush past Brent and Troy on my way to another final featuring two Bogans. The questions came thick and fast, but ultimately I was unable to name a group of frogs (it’s called an army, apparently) and Kobus from South Africa was again able to snatch gold. I would take out silver, but the day belonged to the Bogans.

And perhaps the people selling us beer. There wasn’t a sober man in the house by the time the tournament came to an end.

Medalists at the 2012 Nanjing Olympics — All of the medalists (and participants/losers) posing one last time before it all goes pear-shaped. Photo by Kevin Wise.

Nanjing Nongmin Medal Count: 6 (1 Gold, 2 Silver, and 3 Bronze)
Chris Beer Count: Come here often, beautiful?

Glory!

In the end, the event wasn’t really about individual results or even which ‘nation’ did better. We’d all turned out to wish our good friend, Pat a fond farewell. If there is one facet of my life here in Nanjing that stands out head and shoulders above the rest, it’s the top group of blokes I get to drink, play cricket, and generally run amok with.

While we’re usually content with Friday night beers and a game of cricket on a Sunday, these little events are a nice change of pace. We’ve got a cricket sixers tournament in Xiamen coming up and planning for the 2013 Nanjing Olympics may already be underway.

Special mention has got to go out to Hamish for not only arranging everything – but also printing bibs, making medals that stained the winners’ shirts, and generally ensuring it all went along smoothly.

P-Wizzle — The man of the hour enjoying a hand of poker earlier in the evening. Photo by Kevin Wise.

And while Pat didn’t get on the podium in one of his last Nanjing events, that’s never really what Pat has been about. If you’ll indulge a little sappy sentimentality, it’s about the friends you make and the experiences you have. And taking home a lovely Chinese wife certainly hasn’t hurt Pat’s time here either.

To Pat: All the best.

To the Bogans: Next year, you bastards. I’m already in training.

Your Say

Ever participated in a fun, quirky, or off-the-wall foreigner event while living the expat life? I’d love to hear all about your favorite random experiences while abroad.

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Craft Beer in Beijing: A Boozy Beijing Brewery Tour with Lost Plate Tours

G'day!

Chris

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