Relationships on the Road: First Dates

Two weeks ago I started this little series on relationships while you’re on the road. I’m not Don Juan or even Dr. Phil, but the vast majority of my romantic experiences have taken place away from Australia’s fair shores.

Posing with a pair of gorgeous Afrikaans girls

And people wonder why I spend so little time here…

Anyway, my first post about how to meet and strike up conversation with a pretty girl at a foreigner bar seems to have been met with a pretty positive reaction, so it’s time for me to share a few more observations and ideas when it comes to relationships on the road. We’ve covered meeting somebody – so now comes the roller coaster of dating somebody while you’re in unfamiliar territory.

The Fine Art of First Dates

I think it’s safe to say that I don’t do so well in a relationship situation. I’ve been in four ‘serious’ relationships and only one of them lasted beyond the four month mark.

But I’m fairly confident in saying that I give good first date, and the elements of a good first date (at least when the girl is on said date with me) remain the same whether you’re in your own backyard or exploring a crowded South Korean street.

The key elements to a CWB date?

  • Keep it simple
  • Don’t try too hard
  • Keep it casual
  • A little cheese is a good thing

Four pretty simple steps there, but you’d be surprised by how many horror stories I’ve heard about first dates that could have been avoided by following a few really simple guidelines.

Stumbled across a great little waffle place in Pungam Dong, Gwangju in 2009

Look, the romantic in you might want to go all Ted Moseby and make your first date something that you’ll tell your grand-kids about. But how likely do you think you are to get into a grand-kid making position if you scare her witless with a grand romantic gesture right out of the gate? Save it for the anniversary! Better yet, don’t even think about getting that far. Enjoy the first date, roll with the occasional awkward moment, and see where it takes you.

Keep it Simple

Your natural inclination might be to seek out the nicest Italian restaurant in town, splash out on a prohibitively expensive bottle of wine, and try and dazzle her with your knowledge of the works of Walt Whitman.

She’s likely to be just as nervous about a first date as you are, so why threaten to overwhelm her with the burden of showcasing her etiquette skills on date numero uno?

The best dates I’ve ever had have been ones with little or no planning. Meeting up for coffee doesn’t need to end when the last of the coffee’s been drained from the cup – and an impromptu walk can be both romantic and offer up a great chance to have a random detour adventure.

Those detours can be worth even the least enjoyable date. You might just stumble across a new favorite cafe or a fun place to take a future first date.

It's hard to do justice to a candlelit hookah bar without a flash...

My best memory of a first date was in Gwangju in late 2008. I met up with the pretty Kiwi girl I was sweet on with the idea that we’d have dinner. Without any idea of where I would take her, our wandering ended up taking us to Ethnic Bar – a hookah bar boasting curtains and cushions, a bubbling fountain in the centre of the room, candle light, and private grottoes to hang out in.

We ordered a pair of cocktails, a plate of cheese & crackers, and settled back into the comfortable cushions to just chat and get to know one another better.

That first kiss? The best one I’ve ever had. And there was no planning at all. Just a pause in conversation, two sets of lips a tad too close together, and that delicious tingle up your spine as those lips meet.

So rather than picking a fancy restaurant, look at the simpler options. Go bowling. Check out a cute little coffee shop. Wander a market together. Go out and see a local tourist attraction. You’re taking the pressure off of yourself and off of her.

Don’t Try Too Hard

She’s accepted the first date. Chances are, you’ve already garnered a bit of her interest. If that’s the case, it’s safe to assume she doesn’t want to go on a first date with somebody else.

Be yourself and if she doesn’t like that, then it’s her loss. Do you really want to be with somebody who likes a fake character you invented for your first date? You’re eventually going to get burned out on pretending to be that faultless, cultured rare earth trader you introduced her to.

This leads well into…

Keep it Casual

If things go well, somewhere down the line you’ll have the opportunity to open up and share more about yourself with them. But that second or third date isn’t likely to eventuate if you unload your lingering abandonment issues on her and rattle off a comprehensive list of the features you found intolerable in your ex.

A younger and more idealistic Chris chatting up a South African girl in 2008

There’s a time and a place to talk about the many facets that make up who you are. Introduce her to the more fun ones before you wheel out the big guns. Get her comfortable with that weird way you pronounce ‘chicken’ and the originally cute but eventually infuriating self depreciating sense of humor you have before she has to meet your ex and learn about how your father never really accepted your dream of someday being a professional wrestler.

She’s not telling you here life story on date #1 (and if she is, head for the hills) – so don’t burden her with yours. It’s supposed to be fun!

The Value of a Little Cheese

Cheese makes everything better. Seriously, nearly any meal can be improved with a little cheese.

More cheese than a cheese pizza with extra cheese

The same holds true of a date. A little romantic cheese is a great ice-breaker and, in a lot of cases, might be the first romantic thing the girl’s ever had done for her. It’s true that chivalry is almost certainly dead, so the odds of her ever being given a flower or having her chair held for her are slim.

I’ve had girls melt (not literally) when I produced a single rose from behind my back and put on my best sheepish grin. I’m not saying they fell straight into my bed, but it made them feel a little more comfortable to know that I was willing to put myself out there like that, and it’s just a nice gesture. There’s nothing wrong with being a gentleman, so don’t be ashamed if you feel inclined to offer her your coat or hold the door for her.

This also has the benefit of establishing early on that you’re on a date. You don’t want to be diverted into friend territory just because she missed all of the signs you sent her way.

But it’s a fine line to tread. There’s cheese and there’s creepy. Don’t break into song at the end of the date unless you’ve hit a karaoke bar together.

On the Road?

You might have noticed that a lot of this isn’t specific to being on the road. There’s a good reason for this – the rules don’t change.

Sure, a girl who is out traveling is going to be a little more open to meeting new people than somebody at home might, but she’s still a girl and you’re still a guy.

If anything, the foreign arena gives you a lot more freedom to be creative and keep it nice and simple. There’s probably a dozen restaurants you’ve never tried and countless tourist attractions you’ve never visited. That’s your date right there, and it’s going to be fun even if the sparks don’t fly.

The Differences

A first date on the road isn’t going to be identical to one back home. For one, you’re probably not going to be quite as familiar with the area as you would be in your own country.

Heather preparing to explore Busan's seaside temple with me in February of 2011

Of course, if you do happen to know the area well and she doesn’t, your expertise is going to be an attractive trait. If you can seamlessly order your food in the local tongue and guide her to a hole in the wall with some small comfort from home, she’s going to like you just a little bit more.

There’s also the added perk of being able to use one of the aforementioned comforts from home in place of a flower. You’d be surprised at the reaction I got when I brought a girl a small jar of Marmite instead of a rose. You’d think I’d proposed.

Maybe I did. I’m not too familiar on the rules of engagement when it comes to New Zealanders…

Dating a Local?

Don’t be afraid to let your local friend take control of the date. Chances are she’s going to have a far better idea of where to eat and how to get there. That’s fine. Being the man doesn’t mean you always have to be in control.

Enjoy being out of the driver’s seat for a while and use that extra bit of freedom to focus on engaging her. Ask her questions – not only about herself but also about the place you’re in – most people are proud of their homes and will feel more at ease talking about it then themselves. Roll with it.

In Summary

At the end of the day, what has worked for me in the past might not necessarily work so well for you. But if there’s one facet of romancing gals that I’m consistently happy with, it’s that I can’t recall ever having had a bad first date. Even if the girl and I didn’t click, we’ve still managed to have a fun time. I think that’s played a big part in me being friends with a lot of girls I’ve gone on a date with to this day.

I’m not Don Juan. I’m not Dr. Phil. But I’ve had a lot of swings and misses, and maybe one of my little tips above will help you turn that awkward first date into a fun experience. And if it’s fun, chances are she’ll be all the more likely to want to do it again.

Friday’s Recommended Reads – August 12th

And you thought I’d forgotten about you? It may be a tad later than the usual, but it’s still Friday for another thirty four minutes in Australia and for a good deal more time in the US and the UK.

Oh hi!

Why so late? Well, I just came back from my first ever comedy club experience! Heather (from The Kimchi Chronicles) and I headed out to the Laugh Garage in Sydney’s CBD to see Daniel Townes and a handful of other great local acts. I’ll write more about it later, but suffice to say we had a good time and I might just have to venture back to the Garage again sometime soon.

The Reads

The Guest Who Never Leaves by Backpacking Ninja

Aparna, the world’s first backpacking ninja, offers up some really helpful tips for how to make your extended hotel stay feel less like being the guest and more like just being ‘home’.

Your stay in a hotel doesn’t need to just be tiny shampoo bottles and the busy hum of vacuum cleaners in the hall, and the ninja’s tips will soon have you striking up conversation with the staff and feeling a lot less like an outsider.

Pre-Travel Freakouts: Seventeen Days in China Edition by Around the World “L”

That mixture of nervousness, excitement, and sadness you feel in the days leading up to departing for another adventure? That’s normal! Lillie does a great job of capturing those mixed emotions before a trip that we can all relate to so well as she goes through them herself in preparation for her trip to China.

There’s some great discussion going on in the comments as well, so go read and then weigh in with your own travel tales!

I Actually Like London… by Bitten by the Travel Bug

You’d have to have been living under a rock to not be aware of the tragic events that have occurred in London in the past week. In a country and city that have long been associated with culture and civilization, it’s truly shocking to see the photos and videos coming out of the world’s most famous city.

Nicole, herself having lived in London, discusses both her reaction to the events and how the tragedy might have changed the way she views a city she thought she hated. A great read.

Testimony from a Comfort Woman by Ask a Korean

For those of you not familiar with Korean history, a ‘comfort woman’ was basically a slave taken by the Japanese invaders to be used repeatedly for sexual gratification. The article, an account from a North Korean survivor of the Japanese regime, is a very graphic (be warned) recount of the horrendous treatment Korean women were subjected to by the Japanese invaders.

This needs to be read and to be shared. Too few people in the world know about the awful treatment the Korean women endured, and the Japanese have still yet to formally acknowledge it.

When Your Culture is Not Respected by yTravelBlog

I swear that Caz and Craig are not paying me to promote their blog. It seems like every week these guys are churning out so much quality that it’s hard to overlook them when I’m recommending reads.

Fresh off of last week’s post about being too defined by your culture, this week Caz wades into the topic of respecting the culture of the country you’re in. As always it’s a well written and thought provoking piece, and there’s some heated debate taking place on the page that provides some interesting follow up reading.

That’s three in a row for yTravelBlog. Quite the streak!

What’s Going On?

Fallon and I brandishing our finisher's medals after completing the 2010 City 2 Surf

Aside from tonight’s stand-up shenanigans? I’ve got my second City 2 Surf experience this coming Sunday as part of the iiNet running/walking team. Last year Fallon and I tackled the 14.6k run to Bondi as runners, but this year I’ll be taking things a tad slower so that my trusty Canon can capture all of the fun and festivity on the day.

And there’s the whole ‘not as fit as I should be’ thing as well…

I’ve also got a lot of upcoming entries queued up. There’s my reviews of La Bodeguita and the Laugh Garage. There’s a feature on the importance of family and how to cope with being away from them for extended periods.

There’s a few more entries to come in my series on relationships on the road and my spotlights on street markets and street performance.

Exciting times lie ahead!

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If you’d like to see your link (or just a link you really liked) here next week don’t hesitate to leave a comment here, hit me up on Facebook, or send me a Tweet. I’ll feature the post on Facebook as well as Tweeting it to the Twitterverse and Stumbling it to the Stumbleverse. That’s free publicity!

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Ten Tips for ESL Teachers

Disclaimer

Right out of the gate I’m going to acknowledge that I am far from an expert on teaching ESL. In fact, judging by the fact I left my most recent Korean teaching gig seven months early due to not being able to gel with my employer and her expectations, it’s safe to say I’m no authority.

Would you trust this man to teach your children?

That said, I did the job for 2.5 years and regardless of what my employers might have felt along the way – I’m very proud of the progress my students made in speaking and understanding English under my watch. I might not be in line to win employee of the year anytime soon, but I’m pretty confident I have a few nuggets of ESL teaching wisdom to share that will help in your classroom. I’ve put them together as ten tips for ESL teachers that you’ll find below.

Looking for work in South Korea? I wrote an extensive guide on the road to South Korea a few months back.

The ESL Teaching Racket

My time teaching English as a second language gave me a lot of opportunities to grow as a person. Not only was I learning every day as I adjusted to life in a new culture, but I was also broadening my own knowledge of the English language as well as learning to tap into a whole new level of patience. It’s this patience and lateral thinking that has allowed me to transfer very successfully into the IT business.

There’s not a whole lot of difference between teaching verbs to a nine year old South Korean and teaching VoIP parameter settings to an eighty year old retiree.

As I said, I’m far from an expert, but I’ve picked up a thing or two. Some of it has come from my own experience and some of it has come from knowing other teachers who knew their stuff. I’ve come up with a list of ten tips for ESL teachers that I think any teacher – new or old – will be able to take into their classroom and benefit from.

Ten Tips for ESL Teachers

#10 -Start Hard, Go Soft

Whoa. That sounded a whole hell of a lot less dirty when I typed it. I’m not going to change it though. Laugh at my expense.

I’m not making any jokes there – but one of the hardest lessons I learned early on was that going into a classroom full of new students and being the ‘nice teacher’ had long term consequences that took a long time to resolve.

While your natural instinct as a former student yourself is to be the fun teacher, it comes with the danger of giving the students the impression that you’re a soft touch and you’re not going to discipline them for misbehaving. While I often enjoyed those irreverent classes in which my students would banter with me – it could prove troublesome when they had a big test to prepare for or my boss had one of her unscheduled observation sessions.

It’s not hard to become a nicer teacher after making a stern first impression, but it’s a tough task to make the transition in the opposite direction.

Give the class a few lessons to learn that you’re serious about teaching them. It’s ok to tell a joke and to teach with a smile on your face, but the long term benefits of establishing that you are the teacher first and the friend second can’t be underestimated. When you’re enjoying a joke with your advanced class and can seamlessly switch into them doing written work, you’ll be grateful that you played the hard-ass for a few days early in your teaching stint.

#9 – The Points System

Across all of the schools I worked at in South Korea was my consistent use of a points system to reward good behavior. While my first school actively encouraged this by holding semi regular ‘store days’ in which students could trade these points for stationery and candy – I took on the onus of paying for these rewards myself at schools two and three.

It was a simple system. Good behavior or answering a difficult question warranted a ‘check’ next to a student’s name. Three checks was a reward – usually a piece of candy or a pretty sticker.

In classes where students seemed reluctant to participate or were a bit shy about speaking up, these ‘checks’ were also awarded for participation. A silent classroom could quickly be changed into a sea of raised hands with the offer of a sweet snack at the end of class.

Liberal use of candy and ‘fun time’ was used to calm down these crazy kids

While this technique was remarkably effective with younger classes, it required some tweaking for older students. A sixteen year old isn’t quite as easy to buy off with a Chupa Chup.

At my first and second schools I began to institute the idea of class prizes. Rather than a small reward at the end of any given lesson, the class would instead earn points as a team that could be traded in at some point for some kind of shared reward. This was usually a pizza party (I could get three large pizzas for 21,000 won nearby) or an excursion to the nearby Baskin Robbins for a bit of ice cream.

Not only did this class reward system encourage the entire class to behave, but it also meant that the brighter students would be more inclined to help those who were struggling. After all – if points were on offer for everybody getting a certain mark in a test, the natural inclination towards competition amongst Korean students would be superceded by this desire to attain a common goal.

And the whole process had the added bonus of getting me a lesson to eat pizza and practice some casual conversation with my students. They were learning and practising their English without even noticing.

#8 – They’re Not Wrong, They’re Just Not Right…Yet

Spot the mistakes…

Nothing is quite as disheartening as being told you are wrong. But if it’s approached correctly, a mistake can be an excellent opportunity to help a struggling student come to grips with a difficult concept.

Where being wrong is a blow to the ego, there’s a tremendous sense of accomplishment when you feel like you’ve figured something out on your own. Use this.

If you spot an error in a student’s work, don’t leap on them as if they’ve besmirched your mother’s honor. Instead, frame it as a question: “Do you see any mistakes here?” or “I can see one or two wrong answers there – can you spot them?”

There’s more power in ‘Almost’ or ‘Not quite’ than in ‘WRONG! YOU IDIOT!’

Give the student time to go over their work and spot their own errors. They’ll feel a lot less awkward about it if they’re the ones correcting themselves, and you’d be surprised how often a student will spot an error they made in haste rather than ignorance.

Guide a student towards the rush of solving a problem on their own and they’ll become addicted to that feeling. Tell them they’re wrong and they’ll only learn that speaking up means being embarrassed.

#7 – Personalize It

It’s a small thing, but chances are your students don’t care what Bill and Ben are doing on the weekend. But they sure as hell care about what Kim Su and Sang Young are doing on the weekend.

Letting kids write about topics they care about is a great way to engage them.

Take a few extra seconds to personalize the content in your class, but be careful how you do this. You don’t want to accidentally subject one of your students to relentless teasing from his classmates by inserting his name into a compromising sentence.

In exercises where students are making sentences (and I love these exercises – they’re fun and practical) – let them use the names of their friends and family. This might lead to a few hilarious and inappropriate sentences, and that’s fine – just don’t let telling a joke take away from the lesson you’re trying to teach.

#6 – Structure Your Lesson

Wearing out Ally (pictured) was how I had to start every day at Storia. Simon Says was my tonic.

A routine can be a good thing. I found that starting a lesson with one of my younger classes with a game was a good way to burn some excess energy. Plus it saved me having to listen to them plead to play a game at the end of the lesson. A rousing game of ‘Simon Says’ has tamed many a rowdy class of five year old terrors.

If you’ve ever studied teaching you’ll be aware of the concept of Multiple Intelligences. Students can be engaged on multiple levels, and you’d do well to build your lessons around approaching a topic from these different angles. A well built lesson will target more than just the obvious linguistic intelligence. I’d go so far as to say that no lesson of English teaching should be without the interpersonal and intrapersonal intelligences as well. After all, language is a social thing.

I’m not qualified to write in terrific detail about the multiple intelligences, but any teacher would do well to familiarize themselves with the concept. It’s going to make you a much better teacher.

#5 – In Their Own Words

These four girls liked me so much they had their parents request an extra class with me!

Nine times out of ten, at least in a Korean school, the answer to ‘Do you understand?’ will be an enthusiastic ‘yes’.

No, Korea isn’t a country populated by English wunderkinds. It is, however, populated by a very proud people who will be reluctant to admit that they don’t understand.

Rather than asking your students if they understand and trusting those nods, have a student (or students) rephrase what they’ve just learned. Have them construct an example sentence or use a quiz game to have students define key concepts or demonstrate vocabulary. This not only confirms that they are understanding, but it also gives them more opportunities to practice their speaking and comprehension skills.

#4 – Shut Up!

You’re not being paid to talk at your students all lesson. Obviously you need to teach them, but they’re not going to learn just by listening to you talk.

The students engage in some conversation practice.

You want to maximize the amount of time students are talking to you and (preferably) to one another. They’re going to learn far more through speaking the language than they will through hearing it.

Role-playing, conversation practice, out loud reading, and choral work (with younger students) are all excellent ways to engage your students and to have them practice what they’re learning.

#3 – It Should Be Fun!

The biggest bone of contention most foreign teachers run into when teaching in South Korea is the vast difference in teaching methodologies. Korean teachers still very much adhere to the old school method of teaching – that of repetition.

While teachers in Australia are embracing the importance of immersion in the learning experience, most Korean employers would harass me to spend entire lessons simply having students repeat their word list over and over again.

I did not make a good employee in this respect, because I refused to participate in a teaching method that I know has very little merit. Being raised by teachers (and studying it briefly myself), I know full well that repetition ad nauseum leads to no real lasting impact. I didn’t play ball.

My Valentine’s lesson. Students wrote their cards and then presented them to their friend, parent, or (in this case) teacher

If your students are staring listlessly at a white board and eying the clock with the kind of avid desperation usually reserved for prisoner’s awaiting their release date – chances are they’re not learning.

There’s a fine line between ‘fun learning’ and just ‘fun’, and you need to be careful to stay on task – but there’s no harm in using an educational game, offering a handout with a word search involving key words, or simply turning what could be a very dull lesson into a chance for students to get up and role play. It will break up the monotony of the very long day your students and it will engage an entirely different part of their brain.

#2 – Reward Good Behavior

There’s a lot of debate amongst teachers and parents all over the world over the role of negative reinforcement vs. positive reinforcement. The old school think that it’s important to punish bad behavior, and the new school want to instead encourage good behavior by showing its rewards.

Taming Stephen and Mike (pictured) was a year long effort.

Having been a perennial detention fixture for much of my youth, being suspended twice, and even being expelled (albeit by my own father) as early as kindergarten – I know full well that punishment was not an effective deterrent.

Believe it or not, this genuinely nice guy was getting into trouble as late in life as the twelfth grade for being a smart-ass and my issues with authority figures. The only teachers that ever made an impact on me and got good behavior out of me were the ones whose first reaction wasn’t to send me out of the classroom.

That’s not to say I was bribed. Far from it. But a teacher who treats a student with a bit of respect and who acknowledges their positive attributes is going to find said student a lot more easy to deal with than the one who constantly derides them and punishes them.

They say that you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar, and I can definitely say this is true as both a student and a teacher. A lot of my favorite and most attentive students were the very ones I’d been warned about prior to starting. Whether it’s a pat on the back, displaying an interest in their hobby, or the occasional piece of candy or extra sticker – you’re going to find that troublesome students become excellent students if you just treat them as something more than a problem you need to deal with.

#1 – Adapt!

A big part of the teaching process, at least when dealing with children, is your ability to remain patient and to attack a difficult question from multiple angles. The explanation of personal pronouns that works for one group of bright eyed young learners might be met with nothing but blank stares by another group.

Jeff was so far ahead of the rest of his class that I basically had to plan two lessons. Such an actor too!

When this happens, and I guarantee you it will, don’t let it fluster you. Every child thinks in a different way and every group of children is going to be different. It’s all about adapting and altering the way you approach the question.

One trick I learned to be very effective as to take into account the students’ interests and backgrounds. If I had a classroom full of StarCraft loving kids (and in Korea, that’s most of them) – I’d work in references to in game stuff. If my class was full of Big Bang obsessed girls, then obviously I wouldn’t mention Zerglings and Avatars to them.

Just like in sales and in entertainment (ironically enough, my only other areas of expertise), it’s all about knowing your audience. Dumb down for your younger students and use a bit of humor with the older ones. They’re going to appreciate that you’re teaching them as people rather than as a faceless mass of uneducated clay ready to be molded.

Groundbreaking Stuff

None of the above should be news to somebody who has taught before. Hell, a lot of it might seem obvious to somebody who is about to start their first teaching gig.

I’m not reinventing the wheel and I certainly don’t claim to be an authority on teaching. But I am a former teacher who is very proud of the progress of the students he taught, and one who still remains in contact with a lot of them years after moving on. I’m still helping some students with essays and assessments, and I feel proud that I had a positive relationship with 99% of the students I’ve taught.

You might not help ‘train’ the next Shakespeare or Bill Gates – but if you can leave a student’s life with them in a better position than they were when you entered it – you’ve done something amazing. Be proud of that.

This is Liz. She would often tell me about her dramatic love life.

For more teaching tips, check out this great site.

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Exploring Sydney’s Haunted Past

The eighteen of us huddle in the remains of the undertaker’s basement. There’s no light save the moon’s pale glow that filters down through the bone white fingers of the tree forcing its way up through the warped cobblestone.

The bony fingers of a tree reach up to claw at the night sky.

It’s warm in spite of the recent rain, and the occasional fat drop of water plummets from the roof above and strikes my shoulder – the insistent tap of somebody with something important to say. The blonde girl to my right still seems shaken up from the huntsman sighting earlier.

Somehow, the distant sounds of George Street traffic are completely muffled. We have been, as our guide had suggested as we’d entered this dark place, transported back in time to the early days of the Australian colony.

The squeaking of the gate above ceases. For a moment there’s just the sound of our breath and the insistent tap tap of the water.

A thud from above.

The blonde girl cries out.

Our guide stands above us on a walkway. His long coat dances a macabre dance in the wind and his wide brimmed hat, pulled low over his eyes, obscures all but his mouth as he begins to talk.

“This was once the basement of a very successful undertaker,” he informs us, “It was a lucrative business in the early days of the colony”.

We nod in agreement. Already tonight we’ve been told how much money was to be made in morgues (or ‘dead houses’) when Sydney was little more than hastily constructed houses huddled on the muddy shores of the harbour.

The fireplace of a long abanded kitchen beneath what is now a trendy block of apartments

He tells us the story of how the undertaker worked himself to death and was found dead in the very basement in which we now stand. It’s not hard to imagine the ancient stone fireplace once dancing with flames as the undertaker in question hunched over a cadaver. I’m grateful that my imagination doesn’t extend to conjuring up the rich stink of dead bodies that must have existed.

Our guide, Gary, continues to tell the tale of how a family later purchased the property and the girl began to hear the tap tap tap of somebody working in the basement. Oddly enough, it’s not the undertaker who is rumored to haunt the site these days – but the girl herself. Perhaps she never fully recovered from her brush with the other side?

“The rangers and security guards sometimes see her,” Gary intones as he points to a window high above our heads, “in that window there”.

We all crane our necks to look up at the window. Overhead the moon is wearing a veil of clouds.

“But more often, they see her in that window there…”

We follow his finger to the window I stand with my back to. A group of girls quickly shy away from the dark pane, but I peer eaglerly in hoping to see the pale face of a haunted child staring back at me. No such luck.

——-

A Rocks Ghost Tour of the historic Rocks district by night sets you back a steep $42, but I can’t say I was unhappy with my ninety minute exploration of some of the lesser known locations in the popular tourist spot.

After meeting just before seven by Cadman’s Cottage, we quickly progress into Sydney’s oldest cottage and hear the first of many grisly stories. Gary does a great job of blending macabre tales with a bit of humor, and his customary way of ending stories with a quick ‘Follow me’ means we don’t get long to ask questions and are instead left with our own imaginations. It’s a very neat trick.

I will say here and now that I’ve never seen a ghost, but I’m certainly open to the idea of their existence. I went into the tour with an open mind and hopes of perhaps having my first brush with the supernatural, and while I didn’t spot any specters or hear any rattling chains, I still enjoyed the evening immensely.

Despite walking through streets crowded with Sunday night diners and revelers from time to time, it’s still quite easy to remove myself from the hustle and bustle of Sydney and instead picture the city as it was in those early colonial days. Stories of jealous lovers and murderous street gangs transform ordinary sites into haunted ones.

Hell, the very same park in which I snapped photos during my Rocks photography course last summer houses stories of tortured women and murdered children. I don’t think I’ll ever look at that particular bench in the same way again after hearing of the mourning mother who still searches for her murdered son to this day.

The Sydney Opera House at night, as seen from beneath the Harbour Bridge.

Starting at Cadman’s Cottage and ending at the Harbourside Hotel with a ‘free’ (with any drink purchase) drink, the tour took just under ninety minutes and involved just enough walking to feel like I was getting a bit of a workout. Along the way there were even a few opportunities to snap a few photos of Sydney’s more iconic sites.

Audience participation ensured that every one of us had a chance to play the role of a haunted figure or a dastardly crook, and the guide nicely mixed light hearted humor in with the scary tales to ensure nobody’s heart stopped and made them a permanent part of the tour.

The company runs both a North and South side tour of The Rocks, and after having taken on the North – I’m eager to tackle the south sometime real soon. For more information you can check out their web-site. Tours leave every night at 6.45 and bookings are essential.

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Friday’s Recommended Reads – August 5th

Well hi there! It’s Friday again and that means it’s time for my five recommended reads of the week. With the weekend just a few short hours away, it’s a perfect time to curl up with your laptop and live vicariously through those people lucky enough to be out adventuring right now.

Oh, didn't see you there...

Of course, if the weather where you are is anything like the sun we’re seeing here in Sydney, it might be worth hitting the beach while the sun is still shining and leaving the reads for when the cold settles back in again…

If you’d like to see your link (or just a link you really liked) here next week don’t hesitate to leave a comment here, hit me up on Facebook, or send me a Tweet. I’ll feature the post on Facebook as well as Tweeting it to the Twitterverse and Stumbling it to the Stumbleverse. That’s free publicity!

And, if you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe to my RSS Feed.

The Reads

Hong Kong Food Trip by Nomadic Experiences

The first of two Filipino features this week, Marky’s blog has long been one of my favorites to read. Between its sleek design, fantastic photography, and quality writing – I always look forward to seeing what Marky’s latest adventures have taught him.

This entry is all about the foods of Hong Kong and his struggles trying to try as much as he can in a limited amount of time. The photos are reeking havoc on my appetite as I tap away at my desk.

Marky’s been writing for a long time (since 2007), so there’s no shortage of fascinating reads to be found here. Go look!

How Much Does it Cost to Backpack Europe? by The Aussie Nomad

I’ll preface this by saying that Chris might just have the sexiest blog layout in the travel writing community. It just makes me hungry for Vegemite.

Appetite aside, this was a really helpful entry for anybody who might be planning their own European backpacking adventure somewhere down the line. Not only does Chris break it down into a very easy to read format – but he also shows that you don’t need to fritter away a small fortune to pursue your backpacking dream. Good to know.

I Kissed a Ladybody…and I Liked It by Man on the Lam

With a title like that, how could I not click through when I first saw it on Twitter? I make my secret on my ‘crush’ (if one can define a crush by the urge to ‘wreck’) on Katy Perry, and I’ve always had an odd fascination with doing the things your average traveler wouldn’t be game to do. Two of my loves coming together in one delicious orgy of transgendered inappropriateness!

Beyond the title though, I found that Raymond has a great tongue in cheek writing style. The fact that it vaguely reminds me of my own style might have a little to do with my enjoyment of it. I’m nothing if not vain.

While I’ve yet to read many of Raymond’s other entries (and he’s shown some reluctance to embrace my suggestion that he attend a ping pong show) – I’m sure it’s going to become a regular in my reading rotation as I continue planning my SE Asian adventure for 2012.

Modern Day Hobo: Life Lessons from the Desert by Pinay Travel Junkie

Gay and I were ‘introduced’ by another great blogger (Marky from the aforementioned Nomadic Experiences) and I was very bummed to miss out on meeting her and Claire from Lakwatsera de Primera last night. Hopefully we’ll be able to hook up our own little travel blogger north shore hangout real soon though.

This entry from Gay details her experiences and the lessons she learned from her time in the deserts of the Middle East. There’s plenty of nuggets of wisdom to be found here, and venture outside of this entry to find a whole lot of travel tips and tales from the Middle East, South East Asia, and now Australia.

The Dangers of Being Culturally Defined by yTravel Blog

I know I featured Craig and Caz last week, but it’s hard to overlook them when they keep producing such high quality content! This week Caz comments on the fine line between patriotism and breeding an air of arrogant superiority. What started with a throwaway comment on her other blog (The Mojito Mother) about Australian vs. American spelling spawned a pretty fascinating read about the dangers of letting ourselves be too defined in our thinking by the place we were born and/or raised.

A very thought provoking read that has me inspired to wade into the discussion taking place in the comments. Go join in and let your voice be heard!

What’s Going On?

My new work schedule has me working Saturdays (with Sundays and Mondays off), but I’m making the most of my weekend. My Sunday will include a first ever visit to Luna Park as well as taking part in the Rocks Ghost Tour experience. I’ll be back in cahoots with my friend Heather from The Kimchi Chronicles for this. Can’t wait!

Monday might (weather pending) hold a beach visit for me. I’ve also recently joined the gym too, so you’ll be seeing a slimmer and sexier CWB in photos to come.

I’ve also got entries about the beaches of Manly (with particular focus on beautiful Shelly Beach), my spotlight on street markets, and a review of La Bodeguita – Sydney’s coolest Cuban club.

Happy weekend!