Why learn the local language?

In case my near constant Facebook activity and the advanced level of my character in Skyrim aren’t indication enough, I’ll just say it:

I have entirely too much free time while Heather is out having adventures on her lonesome in Malaysia. This Friday’s flight to Thailand to commence operation: one month of doing very little cannot come fast enough.

But one boon that comes with having more hours in the day than things to do with them is that I get a lot of browsing down. There’s nary a passing question that Google hasn’t answered, a movie I haven’t Wikipediad, or a rerun of Archer I haven’t watched.

It was in some of that idle Googling that I stumbled across an email I had yet to respond. There’s a lot of those. But this one caught my eye because it also contained the shiny infographic pictured below. I’m a sucker for information presented in ways that don’t make me regret not having my glasses fixed, so I’ll share it with you now. My thoughts will follow.

 

inspire language learning

Learn English with Kaplan

Now, the guys over at Kaplan have done a pretty good job of highlighting the countless reasons why it’s handy to speak a little of the local tongue, but I thought I’d highlight my five favourite reasons. Let’s get crack-a-lacking!

#5 – Woo the local women

While it’s not something that I have any desire to take advantage of now that I’ve got my beautiful Nomadic American in the picture, but there’s something to be said for being able to communicate with local girls without needing to gesture wildly while stuttering over the pinyin for ‘You’re beautiful’ from your Lonely Planet phrasebook.

It’s Nǐ hěn piào liang, in case you were wondering. I’m glad Google is free.

It’s to my mother’s great shame and disappointment that I never made more of an effort to meet a Korean girl while I lived in South Korea. Her dreams of having adorable Eurasian grandchildren are dashed every time I find myself a new girl and she sees that her name does not end in Park, Kim, or Lee. Sorry, Mum!

While it’s true that my own romantic tastes inevitably run towards American girls, I can understand the appeal of being able to speak with the local girls to a lot of other travelers. From the serial pick up artists to the lonely lad just looking for love, opportunities are everywhere you go – and that’s a damn side more true if you can actually converse with them in their local tongue.

And a bonus when you’re at home: take a pretty girl to a Korean restaurant and order in Korean.

“Oh! How well traveled and austere you are! Take me now, you burly man!”

Sigh.

If I must…

#4 – Career opportunities

The world is becoming smaller and smaller by the day; so much so, that companies regularly include knowing an additional language in their recruitment requirements. It doesn’t matter of its business or call center or tourism – the ability to speak a language other than English is a huge selling point.

In my call center last year, my limited knowledge of Korean was constantly called upon when a confused customer would call and need some help resetting their modem. While my Korean was nowhere near the level it would need to be to get that across, between my feeble Korean and the caller’s feeble English – we were usually able to get the job done without having to call in a third party.

It might not land you your dream job right out the gate, but you can bet pounds to peanuts that it’ll give you the edge if you and another guy are rocking similar resumes.

#3 – Control your classroom

This one is a bit specific to the land of ESL teaching, but it’s worth noting. While it’s all well and good to be loud and scary and have punishments you can dish out, nothing quiets a class of rowdy kids like hearing ‘Be quiet’ in their native tongue.

It’s also handy as it lets you understand what that surly kid in the third row is muttering under his breath. Quiet his pent up rage by informing him he has detention at lunch time and that despite his argument to the contrary, you’ve never once made love to another man.

Having a little bit of the local tongue also makes it easier to explain particularly complicated subject matter to students. There are few things more painful than explaining the third conditional to students who are still coming to grips with the difference between the passive and active voice when you can’t translate some of the more archaic vocabulary.

I mean, aside from being burned, paper cuts, getting sack-whacked, bee stings, bull ant bites, getting chili pepper in your eye, and child-birth. But aside from those, it’s pretty painful.

#2 – Don’t get ripped off

It’s a sad fact that in a lot of countries, not knowing the local tongue can lead to a whole lot of financial headaches as less than trustworthy folk seek to make a buck from the well-to-do foreigner breezing into town. From China’s infamous ‘black cabs’ to street vendor mark-ups to restaurants with separate menus for foreigners – it’s hard to be a white man (or woman) sometimes.

And while being able to point out your indignation in the local language won’t necessarily bring prices down, it does give you a powerful bit of extra oomph for the bargaining table.

I don’t want to generalize either. Sometimes you get over-charged through simple ignorance on your part. You don’t know the exact address so you throw out a local landmark and pay the extra distance. Or you opt for the pricier restaurant because it has a picture menu. Two doors down, you get the same Beijing duck for half the price.

Speaking the lingua franca not only gives you these advantages, but it also broadens the world you live in. You’re not just confined to restaurants and bars with English language staff or menus, and trust me – you’ll save a small fortune living life that way.

#1 – Get off the beaten track

To me, the single most important benefit of learning the local language is that it lets you better engage with your newfound (however temporary) home. Whether you’re there a month or two years, you’ll see and experience more if you escape the English speaker’s bubble and do your best to live a little closer to how the locals do.

Some of the best times I had living in South Korea were when my friends and I got away from the foreigner bars and the American fast food chains and did things like the locals did. Eating back alley shabu shabu, spending the night on the hard-ass floor of a traditional Korean minbok, attending bizarre festivals, and jumping on buses to nowhere are just a small slice of the adventures I had thanks to speaking a little of the language or being with somebody who did.

Speaking or reading the language doesn’t just broaden things for you on a travel level, though. It lets you make local friends and, as a pretty awesome perk of that, see the country as it really is and not how it presents itself to the outside world. Having a traditional dinner with a Chinese family has been one of the high points of my year hear – and it wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t speak a little of the local tongue.

In the spirit of full disclosure, though, it had more to do with my Chinese student hooking it up.

But the point stands – more doors will open if you’re getting out from the foreigner dives and hostels and meeting the locals. And it’s a damn side easier doing that if you speak the tongue.

Your Say

What do you think? Have I hit the nail on the head or am I missing a glaring inclusion?

Did you get out and learn the local language when you were abroad? Do you reckon it improved your time abroad?

Showdown: Hawaii or Alaska?

The United States’ two non-continental states are both laden with reasons why paying them a visit should be high on your list of priorities, but what if you absolutely had to choose one of them?

Do you opt for sun-soaked beaches, densely forested volcanic mountains, and sipping drinks from a coconut shell? Or do you pull up your hood, grit your teeth against the cold, and hike in some of the most beautiful and dangerous terrain the world has to offer?

I know it might seem a no brainer; it’s a holiday! It should be relaxing!

But I don’t think the decision is that easy. I think that upon closer inspection, you’ll find that these two very different places offer up plenty of reasons why either one of them would be a remarkable addition to your traveling life.

So, like Turkey vs Egypt and Beijing vs Shanghai before, it’s time for a showdown!

Natural Beauty

Let’s launch right in with the biggest draw of either spot: their immense natural beauty. Volcanic, tropical Hawaii and the icy mountains and deep lakes of Alaska couldn’t be more different, but neither is without considerable charm.

The beauty of Hawaii has been well documented. Its verdant mountains, its wind-swept cliffs, its white sandy beaches, and the volcanoes that make it all possible are all ample reason to pay a visit to the 50th state. You can stand on the same beach as the characters from Lost by visiting Mokule’ia Beach on Oahu, take a scenic drive along the winding coastal roads, or check off one of my bucket list items by climbing a volcano.

green beach hawaii
Just a typical stretch of gorgeous beach in Hawaii. Photo property of cleber.

That sounds like a landslide, but let’s hear Alaska out. The glaciers, mountains, and arctic tundra of Alaska might not scream paradise, but you’d be hard pressed to find a place on earth with more stark beauty.

There’s a truly indescribable sense of isolation that gives you a real sense of perspective about your place in the world when you’re standing miles of civilization with an icy wind whipping by and the ageless beauty of a mountain range towering overhead. It’s a feeling I’m quite familiar with from my recent visit to Xinjiang as well as having grown up in the mountains in Australia, but Alaska would take that to a whole other level.

Savage River, Alaska
The beautiful Savage River in Denali National Park. Photo property of TheDreamSky

I said it was indescribable, but I didn’t say I wouldn’t try.

Both countries boast a slew of national parks to preserve the beauty, so you’re spoiled for choice when you do visit. For me? I’m giving the edge to the snow swept, big sky country that is Alaska.

RESULT: Alaska win
SCORE: Alaska – 1 Hawaii – 0

Relaxation

What sounds more relaxing to you? Tropical songbirds chirruping as you take breakfast on a sea-view balcony with a warm spring breeze tickling your nethers, or wearing three layers and trekking out into the frozen wilds to do a wee bit of moose spotting?

I don’t doubt one or two of you opted for the second choice, but I daresay the vast majority would take the beach over the ice any day of the week.

Hammock in Hawaii
Don’t lie. You’d much rather be lying on this hammock than reading this post. Photo property of Ross Mayfield.

Hawaii’s agreeable climate and excellent tourist infrastructure make it a logical choice if you’re looking for a relaxing few days or weeks away. Hell, the place is renowned for its laid back lifestyle! You’re not going to get that at fifty below in a place where you only lie down to die in the snow.

I’m not saying that Alaska couldn’t be relaxing, mind. A mountain cabin with a crackling fire and the serenity of a snowy forest outside sounds wonderfully peaceful to me, but there’s likely to be a lack of spas and catered resorts.

In this one, Hawaii gets the edge for me.

RESULT: Hawaii win
SCORE: Alaska – 1 Hawaii – 1

Adventure

If it looked like something of a landslide for Hawaii on the relaxation front, it looks much the same when you consider adventure. Alaska’s harsh environment just begs survivalists and nature enthusiasts to get out and live a little.

If you’re looking for more ‘conventional’ adventurous activities such as sky-diving, bungee jumping, and water sports, Hawaii has the edge. But it’s all so manufactured! If you want a real adventure, try loading up everything you need on a pack and roughing it in the Alaskan wilderness; just don’t do it the Alexander Supertramp way when there are plenty of companies offering camping tours of Alaska. There are hiking tours as well for those not wanting to sleep in the cold.

surfing in hawaii
Surf’s up, dude! Hang ten! Gnarly! etc etc. Photo property of Lee LeFever.

To me, there’s plenty to like about the relative safety of western extreme sports in a tourist oriented place like Hawaii. But if you’re really looking for adventure, it’s not going to be found on a glossy brochure and come with a t-shirt. Sure, you can climb a volcano in Hawaii – but can you see a fucking bear or play chicken with a glacier? I didn’t think so, man!

Alaska is where the real adventure is at and it gets my vote.

RESULT: Alaska win
SCORE: Alaska – 2 Hawaii – 1

Accessibility

Both Alaska and Hawaii are easily accessible by plane or cruise ship from the continental United States. I’ve heard wonderful things about the picturesque cruises to Alaska, while cruises to Hawaii are more in line with the decadent and relaxed atmosphere one thinks of when they think of a cruise. Deals can be booked to both destinations, courtesy of my friends at Cruise 1st. Obviously you can’t drive to Hawaii, while a drive to Alaska from the United States involves crossing the Canadian border twice. If it were that simple, Alaska would win 3 to 2.

alaskan cruise
The view from a cruise ship leaving Alaska. Stunning. Photo property of Maya Kamina.

But accessibility is also about having access to the comforts of home. While there are a number of developed cities across Alaska, it’s here that Hawaii reclaims some ground. Some might opt to go to Alaska to get away from malls and resorts and shopping, but these amenities are a part of Hawaii’s draw for families and young people.

If you are taking young children or looking to party like at home (only not), then Hawaii is going to get the win here for you. I’m going to give it the nod as well.

RESULT: Hawaii win
SCORE: Alaska – 2 Hawaii – 2

History & Culture

Both Alaska and Hawaii are perhaps best known for their natural beauty, but that isn’t to say there aren’t museums, galleries, and other cultural attractions to draw you in. It can’t all be sun & surf/snow & moose, after all.

The native peoples of both states have long and fascinating histories, but my edge goes towards Hawaii. Prior to becoming a part of the United States, the Hawaiian islands were a kingdom unto themselves and share quite a bit of heritage with the Polynesian pacific islanders that I am so familiar with.

To me, the opportunity to visit the Mookini Heiau (a 1500 year old temple) or experience Hawaiian life as it was in the past on Molokai sounds too good to pass up. Molokai boasts that it is like Hawaii used to be with claims such as “No building is higher than a palm tree” or “Aloha is not just a word, but a way of life”.

Mookini
Beautiful Mo’okini Heiau is over 1,500 years old. Photo property of badvoodoo404.

The opportunity to get up close and personal with such an ancient culture is a fascinating one and one that, sadly, isn’t quite as possible in Alaska where dynasties didn’t form and the native population left a less accessible mark on the land.

RESULT: Hawaii win
SCORE: Alaska – 2 Hawaii – 3

Result

As you can see, Hawaii wins it by a nose when you do a straight up comparison. It might have been ugly had I decided to compare beaches, but then, it might have looked grim for Hawaii if I’d compared the two on a wildlife front.

While Hawaii does get the win by the numbers, I’d probably opt for Alaska if given an all expenses paid trip to either. Hawaii is beautiful – there’s no doubt – but there are plenty of island paradises out there to tide me over. The chance to explore a place like Alaska isn’t one so readily available. Siberia isn’t exactly tourist friendly and the great white north of Canada is a little less hospitable.

camping in alaska
A troupe of adventurers heading out to hike and camp in Alaska. Jealous! Photo property of DCSL.

For mine, Alaska is too good an opportunity to pass up. I’d love to someday check a few of my manly survivalist type goals off my bucket list by visiting.

Your Say

What do you think? Would you prefer to visit Hawaii or Alaska?
Or have you visited one or both of them and have an opinion to share? Help make my decision easier!

How the World Gets Boozy

This one is a bit of a joint effort between myself and Catherine H from Yeity.com. When she sent this list of five of the world’s most popular (and potent) drinks, I scrolled down and was shocked to see a few of my personal favourites on the list. Where was the soju from Korea or the Bundy from Oz? Sacrilege! 

 

So, the first five below come from Catherine and I weigh in with the final five. Salut, gambae, prost, and cheers, mate. Wrap your laughin’ gear around a few of these.

 

How The World Gets Boozy

 

There’s nothing like pulling up a bar stool after a hard day of touring. And yes, despite what socialites would have us believe, it is ok to drink alone. So grab yourself some salted peanuts and start sniffing the barmaid’s apron, interesting things are almost always guaranteed to happen after the second or third round.

 

Without further ado – keeping in mind that water is your friend – here are the world’s favorite signature sips.

 

1. Russia – Vodka

 

It’s a wonder that Jesus even bothered turning water into wine when vodka seems the far more enticing option. Originating from Eastern Europe in the 9th century, this spirit conveniently doubles as a mildew remover spray, a facial pore cleanser, and even a foot deodorant—making it one of the world’s most multi-functional liquors.

 

From smoked salmon flavours to feijoa, these days, there are as many varietals as there are notches on Tiger Wood’s bed.
girl vodka
Classy girls drink vodka from the bottle. Pictured: classy girl. Photo property of Catherine H.
Your true Russian experience will require drinking the kicker straight from a shot glass and always accompanied by food. The tradition is a pickle after each blast, which surprisingly works wonders in clearing the palate from that rubbing-alcohol taste.

 

Whichever way you choose to consume this sexy booze, always keep in mind that vodka can be mixed with anything else, including more vodka.

 

2. Italy – Grappa

 

As the old saying goes “it’s all fun and games until someone wakes up pregnant”, one sniff of this Italian concoction and you’ll be bearing twins (true story).

 

Likened to moonshine, with undertones of nail polish remover, this spirit is not for the faint-hearted.
grappa
Grappa. The beginning of the end. Photo property of Catherine H.
Made from pomace, the grape seed, stalk and stem detritus from winemaking, it’s not uncommon for Italians to light the firecracker under their mornings by pouring a little grappa into their espressos. It’s also believed to be a potent digestive and is commonly served cold after meals.

 

But drinkers beware; you’ll want to make sure your grappa is the real deal as homemade versions of this bitter elixir have been known to cause blindness (figuratively and literally).

 

Although we hate all sorts of ‘isms’ from prejudism to alcoholisms and grappaism, we must admit that this Molotov cocktail is absolutely vile but as the Italians like to say ‘when in Rome’. On the upside, if you’re still waiting for your balls to drop, a shot of this will probably do the trick.

 

3. Germany – Jagermeister

 

It’s urban truth in Germany that a shot of jager before a drinking session will coat your liver and ensure endless rounds abound. Although the statement may be scientifically far-fetched, there’s no denying that Jagermiester is a rite of passage for memorable piss-ups and great Facebook tagging opps. No matter where in the world, there always seems to be a round of Jagerbombs dished out on bar tops at the eleventh hour.

 

This sticky syrup was developed in 1935 and to this day its recipe blend made of 56 fruits, roots, and herbs, remains a closely guarded secret. The seventy-proof liquor is best served iced-cold and mixed with ginger beer or dunked inside an energy drink.

 

Aside from its inebriating effects, and its ability to make those around you a hell of a lot better looking, the German blend has also been used throughout the ages as an anesthetic, a flu treatment, and a steadfast digestive.

 

4. Mexico – Tequila

 

Is it sip, lick, and suck – suck, sip and lick – or lick, sip, and suck? If you know the answer, congratulations, you’ve obviously spent too many nights sniffing the barmaid’s apron (on the other hand, if your mind went straight into the gutter, congratulations, you’ve obviously scored too many dates with your right hand).

 

girls drinking tequila
What’s the name of that song? “Tequila makes her something fall off”, right? Photo property of Catherine H.
Made from the agave plant, this sweet nectar is absolute courage in a bottle. One margarita and you become the social butterfly, two and you’re breaking up, three, and well, that’s a mug shot and a sex change.

 

For a true hombre experience be sure to down a shot of mescal: the famed relative of tequila renowned for its little worm. The maggot lives in the agave and is seen as sacred to the plant. Obviously, we were too shitfaced to recall what it tasted like, but urban legend says swallowing the larvae causes hallucinations—we think this is more down to the fact that you just ate a bug rather than actual hallucinogens.

 

5. Sake – Japan

 

Kanpai! Saying cheers the proper Japanese way isn’t the only thing you need to know when drinking this addictive rice wine. With the same strength as wine and a minuscule cup to drink from, getting pissed up on this drop takes some real skills.

 

Contrary to Western custom, sake is actually meant to be served at or above room temperature and tradition forbids drinkers to decant their own drinks (making it very difficult if you’re a one-man- band).

 

When pouring, the ceramic flask containing the potion must be held with both hands if serving someone above your own status (like your wife). You should also hold your tiny cup with both hands if someone of higher status is pouring for you (like your wife).

 

As you can tell, the art of guessing socioeconomic classes can become a nuisance while on the out- and-bound, so for the sake (pun intended) of avoiding upsetting anyone, the simplest thing to do is to just buy yourself a Japanese beer.

 

Hold onto your hats, people. This is where I step in. Pray for me.

 

6. Soju – South Korea
soju drinker
I don’t always drink soju, but when I do, I drink it from a salsa jar.
Do they drink soju in North Korea? I’m not sure, but if I had to live among the paddies and billion dollar eyesores, I’d look forward to a shot or ten of soju after a hard day’s work in the salt mines.

 

For South Koreans, soju is akin to water (and with a liter or two coming in at under a dollar in some stores, it’s cheaper than water too). This is a tad deceptive for the tens of thousands of foreigners who roll into the country every year and find themselves waking up with their faces melted to the floor by ondol (the underfloor heating used to warm Korean apartments through the winter).
It might taste like vodka, but the Russian drop hasn’t got anything on the sheer head-crushing brutality of a soju hangover. It might be a weaker drop, but it’s a mean son of a bitch.

 

Traditionally, soju is sipped from shotglasses and – like neighbouring Japan – there’s a great deal of ritual to the pouring of the drink. You pour for those above you in age or station with both hands on the bottle. Meanwhile, they’re holding onto their cup with one hand and touching their arm with the other.

 

Of course, the foreigners have a far less formal ritual:

 

1. Buy soju
2. Pour soju into anything
3. Drink

 

I’ve had soju in smoothies, mixed with beer (so-mek), poured into milkshakes, served with soda, and diluted with Powerade (to create the magical, hangover curing poju). Like a Chinese gymnast, soju is flexible. Unlike a Chinese gymnast, soju is allowed out after 10pm. And thank God for that.

 

7. Bundaberg (Bundy) Rum – Australia

 

Australia might be a young country, but it’s also a country with a healthy appreciation of what is affectionately known as ‘the piss’. Beer and wine may be king, but there’s many an Aussie lad who has indulged in a bit of the biff after a night of knocking back Bundy & Coke.

 

“It makes guys want to punch on and women want to put out” describes it pretty damn well, although it doesn’t explain why my sister threw me through a bonfire at a high school party after she’d had a few. I guess I should be glad it didn’t go the other way.

 

Whether it’s served over ice or mixed in with Coke or Ginger Ale, Bundy is every bit as Aussie as Paul Hogan, Russell Crowe, or Matthew Newton. And just as likely to leave you with a black eye come morning.

 

8. Baijiu – China

 

China’s national beverage is every bit as deceptive as that alluring Thai girl with the Adam’s Apple across the bar. Clear like soju or sake and often translated as ‘wine’, Baijiu puts most other beverages to shame with an alcohol content of anywhere between 40% and 75%.

 

If the smell like crushed ants doesn’t warn you that this is a drink not to be fucked with, the fire it lights in your belly certainly will. Yet despite its obvious potency, the Chinese toss it back in the same way nerds at a LAN party might toss back Mountain Dew Code Red.
Baijiu factory
A co-worker and I liberate a couple of boxes of baijiu at the Shuanggou Distillery.
It isn’t a Chinese business meeting or gathering without bottles of Baijiu lined up like soldiers, and there’s never a time when it isn’t cool to tuck into the sorghum based booze. Breakfast meeting? Baijiu. Dinner party? Baijiu. Any excuse will do.

 

Deals are brokered, friendships formed, and political decisions made over this foul-smelling liquor, but 5,000 years of Chinese history can’t be far wrong. Just close your eyes and think of home for that first shot and you’ll be right.

 

9. Pisco – Chile/Peru

 

Ask a Peruvian who invented pisco and they’ll undoubtedly answer Peru. The Chileans will say Chile. The war between Australia and New Zealand for pavlova bragging rights pales in comparison.
chilean independence day.
Partying with the Chileans (and plenty of pisco) on Bronte Beach in 2011. Photo courtesy of Nicole McGrath.
When it isn’t causing headaches in those debating its origin, it’s causing them to thousands of slightly regretful revelers all around the world. To say pisco goes down smooth is an understatement. Mix in a little Cola or sours and you’re set. Hell, you’re drunk before you’ve even spied the bottle on the shelf. You can kiss your recollection of that night goodbye. I hear it ran off with your sense of inhibition.

 

But hey, if you’ve ever seen a Chilean or Peruvian girl, you’ll know there are worse alcohols to go all Coyote Ugly on.

 

10. Kava – Fiji

 

Yes, yes, I know that Kava isn’t an alcoholic beverage. You’re more likely to get a buzz on from the breath of the sweaty German guy leering over your shoulder than you are riding a Kava tsunami.

 

Look down into that hollowed out coconut shell full of muddy brown water. It tastes every bit as ‘grass mixed with mud’ as it looks like it will, but give it a chance. While you’re not liable to end up on a table (or under it) and you won’t be loosening any panties with a pro-offered cup, there’s more to this root vegetable beverage than meets the eye.

 

It starts with a tingling and numbess in the mouth and lips before progressing to feelings of well being, increased sociability, relaxed muscles, and a clear mind. It’s like alcohol that makes you less likely to punch on rather than more! It’s a miracle!

 

Like many national drinks, there’s a ritual involved here. Affectionately known as grog by the locals, kava drinking involves sitting around in a circle, passing a half coconut shell around, and clapping. It isn’t a visit to Fiji without a kava ceremony to start the night.
kava ceremony fiji
‘Max’ leads a kava ceremony on Kuata Island in Fiji.
Your Say
What is your favourite way to imbibe around the world? Got a favourite local liquor, liqueur, or appertif you’d like to wax lyrical about?
introspective chris is introspective

My 2013 Resolutions

Looking Back

It was around this time last last year that I came to you shame faced to admit that I did not manage to accomplish a single, solitary one of my 2011 resolutions. I’m pleased to say that as 2013 begins, I can look back on my 2012 resolutions feeling like I made a real run at them.

While I wasn’t able to topple all ten, I did manage to get five of them done. A 50% strike rate is hardly anything to crow about, but I’ll take that over the previous year’s 0% success rate, eh?

For those not wanting to dig back through the old entry, the ten were:

  1. Complete my TEFL Certification and return to ESL teaching
  2. Travel to 2 or more countries
  3. Improve my physical shape
  4. Be a better friend and brother
  5. Finish a race of 10km or more
  6. Get Korean Tourist up and running
  7. Finish a novel
  8. Tick 5-10 items off my bucket list
  9. Improve Aussie on the Road’s web presence and profitability
  10. Be happier
Chinese classroom
Reunited with my students in Lianyungang during a visit in late 2012.


Successes

As evidenced by the fact I’ve been living in China and working as a teacher since March, it’s safe to assume that #1 on the above list went off without a hitch. Truth be told, I fell into this whole situation when a friend from a rugby league forum (who also happened to be the vice president of a school) recruited my sight unseen to work abroad. I actually had to finish my TEFL certification after I got here.

China made country #1 and my five week tour of the United States (complete with somehow winning the affections of my beautiful girlfriend) meant I’d managed to hit two countries in 2012. Alas, two was where I had to stop.

tandem bike nyc
I checked off a bucket list item when Heather and I tandem bike rode through Central Park

Another big perk of my year abroad has been checking off no fewer than 15 items from my ever growing bucket list. You can see my progress on the Bucket List page.

Aussie on the Road enjoyed a bumper year that saw it jump from PR 1 to 3; average over 25,000 hits a month (my goal had been 15,000); earn approximately $10,000 for my travels (my goal had been $2,400); reach over 200 subscribers; and inch dangerously close to 1,000 fans on Facebook – far exceeding my modest goals for 2012.

And in the hunt to be happier? I had some dark days wrestling with depression, but it’s safe to say that 2012 was infinitely happier than the abortion that was 2011. I’m on the right track and hopefully heading in the right direction. Touch wood.

Failures

The year was not without its failings, though. In many ways, I feel like I failed some that were much more important than those that I managed to succeed in.

While I experienced patches of genuine enthusiasm with regards to my health – semi regular runs in China’s insanely crowded streets and the purchase of an exercise bike, for example – for the most part, it was a year of sloth and decadence. It’s become particularly bad of late with the icy weather and the seemingly weekly McDonalds delivery episodes.

I haven’t even looked in the direction of a race, although getting lost in a park at night did inadvertently lead to me running a 10k in a respectable time. I don’t think that counts, though.

I made a good dash at finishing a novel earlier this year when the month of April saw me churning out new pages at a rate of knots, but that came to a sputtering halt around the same time I decided I was headed to the United States. Korean Tourist never got so much as a look in (nor did my other projects such as Fantasy Rugby League or Road Romance) and my one new launch – Multiple Nerdgasms – has been given minimal effort.

But my biggest failing this year, and one I keenly feel, has been in being a better friend and brother. While I can pat myself on the back for making the trip to Chicago for a wedding and I’ve maintained close contact with a few of my oldest friends thanks to the joint wonders of Facebook and WhatsApp, I can’t lie to myself and say that I’ve been a good friend.

best family portrait ever
Best family portrait ever! Photo courtesy of Tony Grant.

I’ve completely severed one friendship, let several new friendships here in China fall by the wayside, and been only a token presence in my family’s lives over the course of the year. Far from the kid who had fortnightly phone conversations with his family in 2008 and 2009 – I’ve been almost completely off the radar for them this year outside of reappearing for the birth of my niece and the passing of my grandmother.

It’s easy, I think, to convince ourselves that we’re good people. It’s another thing entirely to stop, look at yourself, and realize that simply believing that to be true does not make it so. I have been guilty of immense selfishness when it comes to reciprocating and appreciating the friendships I have and the support of my wonderful family.

I’m ashamed of it, to tell you the truth. And on that low note, let’s look at what I’ll be doing (I won’t say trying to do, let’s be positive) in 2013.

My 2013 Resolutions

#10 – Continue to improve Aussie on the Road as a brand while also launching one other site

2012 was a stellar year for Aussie on the Road. I managed to exceed every one of the (at the time ambitious) goals I had set myself early in the year and virtually paid for my entire US trip itself. While there were times where I felt a little dirty with multiple ‘guest posts’, that’s something that I’ve put behind me.

In 2013 I’d like to see the site expand as a brand with continued growth in viewership and subscriptions; the official launch of a regular podcast or video project; and (hopefully) a slightly more reliable income stream.

In addition to that, I am determined to see one of my four side projects (Road Romance, Korean Tourist, Fantasy Rugby League, or Multiple Nerdgasms) experience a year of growth as well. They don’t need to be profitable or even hugely popular, but I’d like to get at least one of them established before the year is out.

#9 – Travel to four or more countries

2012 saw me return to two countries I had previously visited: China and the United States. In both cases, I managed to see parts I had not seen in my previous visits as well as revisiting old favourites (Portland in the US and Hainan in China). In 2013, I’d like to really step up my travels.

I’m already aiming to add Thailand and Cambodia to my visited list in the upcoming Spring Festival vacation, and a visit to Australia is a certainty somewhere along the way as well. Further exploration of China won’t count towards anything, but I may just find time to revisit Korea, check out Japan, pay visits to Hong Kong & Macau, and potentially ring in the new year someplace warm and exotic. Maybe the Philippines?

#8 – Finish a novel or game design

The perennial resolution that never comes close to getting resolved.

For as long as I’ve been writing, I’ve had teachers or friends or (in some cases) strangers telling me that I have a gift for writing. I don’t want to toot my horn, but I do believe I have the talent to become a published author if I can ever get my shit together and actually finish something.

Having eight manuscripts started is not a productive way to go about it, and Nomadic American believes I’m ADHD in the way I leap from project to project so suddenly – but that’s no excuse. In 2013 I’ll either finish writing one of my novels or I’ll finish designing one of several board-game/RPG games I’ve been toying with since college.

With Byron of Byron & His Backpacks and Diaspora fame in the same country as me again, I reckon I have a better chance than ever of getting it done.

#7 – Improve my physical shape

The only year I feel that this happened after I put it on my resolutions were 2010 – when I had a fitness and healthy eating nut for a girlfriend who whipped my ass into shape with a healthier diet and regular runs. Over the course of the year I lost 10kgs, ran the 14k City 2 Surf, ran a 5k in a personal best time of 26 minutes, and generally lived a healthier lifestyle.

Love on South Beach
A bit of couple time on South Beach in Miami. I’d like to look better with my shirt off for future shoots!

If 2011 was a failure in that respect, than 2012 had been an abject one.

This year I aim to drop down to 90kgs (I’m currently at 95kg), run at least one race of 5 or more k, and work on getting some tone. Cutting McDonalds delivery and soda out of my diet is a must as well.

#6 – Complete another 10 bucket list items

After aiming to complete 5-10 in 2012, I rocketed past that to hit 15 thanks to a visit to the United States and at least one… less than desirable encounter.

The list grew from 200 to 302 in 2012 as well, so there’s no shortage of options. Hell, China and SE Asia both offer about 20 between them. This should be easy.

#5 – Get rid of my credit card debt (again)

Thanks to the generosity of my father, I was able to erase my credit card debt early in 2011 – but as credit card debt has a way of doing, it’s slowly crept back up. Thanks to my site generating income this year, I’ve more than managed to meet payments – but I’d love to get to a stage where that off white MasterCard temptress could be as much an unpleasant ex as… well, let’s not name her here.

I’m not off to a red hot start with SE Asia requiring me to book things online, but I’m hoping to work the rest of it off in 2013 so I can quit my job and become a true traveling nomad type in 2014.

#4 – Continue my education

I turned 29 last December, and while that’s not cause for alarm – it is cause for me to start giving at least a passing thought to my future. I’d love for that to just be traveling, partying, and fucking – but I’ve got to be realistic.

Truth be told, it’s getting hard to be away from my family so often and for so long. I’m missing the childhoods of my nephew and niece, the early adulthood of my siblings, and time with my parents.

My grandmother’s passing this year drove home to me how short life can be. Does my father ever stop and wish he’d made more time to spend with his mother? It’s easy when somebody is in your life to put off a phone call or a visit – but I find myself regretting that the last time I had more than a few word conversation with my grandmother was in early 2010. I’ll never have that opportunity again.

While neither of my parents are of an age where I need to worry about that (touch wood, all the same) – I don’t ever want to find myself regretting that I hadn’t spent enough time with the two wonderful people who brought me into this world and helped me become the man I am today. The same goes for my siblings.

But Jesus, did that get off track. The point I’m making is that I need to take steps to ensure I have something to go home to eventually. With that in mind, I’m going to take my third run at finishing a teaching degree. Let’s hope this time I actually managed to see out a semester before deciding I can’t focus on it.

#3 – Learn to speak another language

I know the logical choice would be Mandarin, and I have taken steps in that direction of late with semi-regular lessons. Truth is, though, I’m more interested in continuing my Spanish education. Who knows? Perhaps someday I’ll be able to switch my ESL lifestyle from Asia to Central and South America?

I’ve got an entirely legally acquired copy of Rosetta Stone just begging me to give it a whirl.

#2 – Get my life in some semblance of order

Tying in with #4, I’ve realized recently that I’ve somehow spent 29 years on this earth without acquiring several life skills people half my age probably have. I can’t cook for myself, I struggle to keep a home that doesn’t look like a teenage boy lives in it, and I’m entirely too easily distracted by my various side projects.

introspective chris is introspective
Being all introspective and stuff. Or maybe just taking a photo. Photo courtesy of Heather Flemion.

Maybe that makes me a product of my generation, but I don’t like that my 24 year old girlfriend is far more grown up than I am. I’m all for rocking a Peter Pan lifestyle, but I’d like to survive the zombie apocalypse and I’d someday like to at least look like I grew up in the real world and wasn’t raised by wolves.

I aim to remedy that by cooking at least twice a week, doing a better job of being aware of my surroundings, and checking off a few of the above along the way.

#1 – Be a better friend, brother, and boyfriend

As I mentioned earlier, I had quite a few failings in 2012 as far as being a friend went. I’ve always been a bit hard to nail down – preferring my own company/the company of a video game, but this year took it to new levels. I constantly blew off social commitments, abandoned one friendship, and let others slip into the cracks.

Oregon beach
Catching up with Desiree, Cody, and Adam while on the Oregon coast. Photo courtesy of Heather Flemion.

In 2013 I hope to maintain regular contact with my family through Skype calls and actually sending birthday gifts, make a greater effort to be involved in the lives of my friends, and be a more committed and attentive boyfriend to whoever is lucky (unlucky?) enough to tame this stallion named CWB.

In all seriousness, this is an issue I can trace back to… God. Childhood? I’ve never been the most loyal or focused friend. I could retitle this ‘be less selfish’ and I’d probably achieve the same outcome.

Your 2013 Resolutions

I’ve shown you mine, now show me yours.

What are your resolutions for the year to come?

And what do you think of my resolutions? Doable?

Extreme Las Vegas Attractions

I swear to God, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write enough about the tribute to hedonism and decadence that is Las Vegas. This time, however, I’ve got the delightful Hilary from The Nomad Grad stepping in to give it a try herself. And given the fact she lives there, I daresay she’ll be able to provide more insight than my own four day visit to sin city was able to.

When I first approached Hilary about guest posting for me, her idea to talk about extreme Las Vegas attractions grabbed me immediately. I love me some adrenaline charged silliness and you just know Vegas will provide it with as little regard for convention (or class) as possible.

But enough from me. Take it away, Hilary.

Extreme Las Vegas Attractions

Hey adventurers! Hilary here from NomadGrad.com, bringing you the juicy and exclusive down low on my hometown, Las Vegas.

You seem like the type of people that want once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Aussie on the Road has asked and I’m delivering, bringing you what I consider the best and most memorable attractions of Sin City. Plus, I figure these are better investments
than putting your money down at the craps tables.

I’m counting down my Top 5 Extreme Las Vegas Attractions. Your mission? Add a little danger to your next Vegas visit and try out one of my bold choices! I promise the risk will be well worth the reward.

5. Channel Your Inner Cirque Performer

Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. Every visit to Mystere, O, Love, or Ka leaves you enchanted. I know you’ve ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ over their skilled performers, watching them balance on tight ropes and contort their bodies from silks on high. While your brain in trying to take in all their awesomeness, you’re asking your friend, “How do they do that?” Well now’s your chance to find out.
Shine Alternative Fitness
I don’t think I’ve got what it takes, but it looks like it’d be fun. Photo courtesy of Hilary Billings.
Shine Alternative Fitness offers a wide arrange of workouts and courses, but what’s unique to them are their Aerial Silks classes. Professional Cirque du Soleil and acrobatic performers are finally in one location to bring the opportunity to try out your mad (or not so mad) Cirque skills. Jump in one of their beginner Aerial Silks classes to find out just how much strength and technique is involved in these performer’s daily jobs. Make sure you register online; classes book up fast!

4. Jump Off The Stratosphere

Bungee jumping is popular worldwide, but how many places can you safely jump off the side of a hotel? Only in Vegas will you find the opportunity to scale 108 floors and then merrily step off The Stratosphere without fear of falling to your death. Well, maybe just a little fear…

You’ll get a unique and rarely seen view of The Strip and the bragging rights that go with your adventure. I mean, how many people can say they admired the view while falling 885 feet? Plus, now any time someone asks, “If everyone else jumped off a building, would you jump too?” You can proudly say, “Been there, got the t-shirt.”

Book now: Skyjump Vegas

3. Be a Fighter Pilot For A Day

Flying your own plane and taking part in a sky battle sounds awesome, but also kind of deadly (well, except if your last name is Bond). If your inner adrenaline junky is still itching to try a dangerous and insane flight mission, Vegas now offers that, too.

Sky Combat Ace offers you the chance to reenact your favorite Top Gun moments. Ride along while the pilots fly and flip and tumble. Take part in a simulated air-to-air dogfight against your pal or one of their instructors. If you’re really brave, they’ll even let you take over the controllers and fly the plane yourself (no experience necessary). You can end your flight with a scenic tour of the Vegas mountain ranges and perform an attack mission against a ground target. You know, just for funsies.

Book now: Sky Combat Ace

2. Skydive- Indoors

Vegas Indoor Skydiving has been simulating the free-fall aspect of skydiving since the 1980s. It’s the first of its kind in America, allowing you to get all the benefits of skydiving without having to leave a perfectly good plane or place your life in the hands of a potentially malfunctioning parachute. Plus, you get to wear a cool jumper suit. Safe, sporty, AND it comes with an outfit? That’s what I call a triple win.

1. Train Lions

You read that right; the owner of the African lions previously seen at The MGM is now opening his private ranch to the public. This is THE experience for those wild childs and true lion lovers. You will learn what it’s like to work with these big cats, taking part in their Trainer 4 A Day program. You will spend time bathing lions, cleaning cages, feeding lions, and then working with the large cats in a training ring. It’s an experience unparalleled in Vegas and most of the world. You can even purchase video packages so you can replay your bravery and exotic animal handling skills to your friends for years to come. Plus, it’s educational. So go in the name of learning!

Training lions in Las Vegas
You can train lions in Vegas!? What the hell was I doing wandering Fremont Street in a drunken stupor? Photo courtesy of Hilary Billings.
There you have you daredevils and Las Vegas enthusiasts! Now it’s your turn to hold up your end of the bargain. Pick your favorite Extreme Adventure, swallow your fears, and go for it! Oh, and be sure to send me photos of your screaming and totally stoked faces.
=)

Happy Adventuring!

About the Author

Hilary is Las Vegas local and world traveler. When she’s not at home working on productions or taming lions, you can find her boarding down volcanoes and living in villages.

Follow her unusual tale!                                                                                         www.NomadGrad.com
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Your Say

Ever done any of these death-defying and extreme Las Vegas attractions yourself? I’d love to hear about your experience!
And did Hilary leave one of your favourite extreme activities out? Sharing is caring!