California, Los Angeles, United States
Just hanging with my girl, Snow White

Dining with Disney Princesses at California Adventure

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Despite having visited Disney World while in Florida, I still had a visit to Disney Land as one of my #1 priorities while in Los Angeles. I’d been so enchanted by my experience at the park that I couldn’t resist the opportunity to inject a little magic into my life again.

So, after a day spent on Leo Carrillo Beach, it was time to return to the Happiest Place on Earth.

The Decision – Disney Land or California Adventure?

I was already aware that Disney Land was considerably smaller than its Florida cousin (or should that be nephew?), but didn’t realize that California Adventure lay right beside the original Disney Park.

With my girlfriend at the time obsessed with The Little Mermaid and me a big fan of all things Pixar, it seemed a logical conclusion to pay a visit to California Adventure. Especially given that Disney Land featured so many rides and attractions I’d seen only two weeks before at Disney World.

Want to know more about a day in Disney Land? Les Berlinettes visited both parks and snapped some gorgeous photos!

The Rides

I won’t go into a blow by blow review and description of California Adventure. I figure I’ll let some pictures do the talking. But here are a few observations:

  • Compared to Disney World, there are a few more adult/thrill-seeker friendly rides such as the California Screamin’ roller coaster and the Tower of Terror.
  • The 4-D It’s Tough to be a Bug is quite a fun experience, although a bit scary for the arachnophobes.
  • Soarin’ Over California was by far my favourite ride. An exhilarating and unique experience.
  • The atmospheres in A Bug’s Land, Cars Land, and Paradise Pier were wonderful – as is the norm for a Disney park.
  • Lines for Radiator Springs Racers and Grizzly River Run were over 5 hours and 3 hours respectively, so we didn’t get to ride.
  • Avoid The Muppets Show. Just not very good at all.
Luigi's Flying Tires might be one of the weirdest rides I've ever been on.
Luigi’s Flying Tires might be one of the weirdest rides I’ve ever been on.
Not to be confused with the toe-curling, hair-whitening coaster in Australia - the Tower of Terror is still pretty scary fun.
Not to be confused with the toe-curling, hair-whitening coaster in Australia – the Tower of Terror is still pretty scary fun.
I loved the theme of A Bug's Land. The 4-D film is a lot of fun too.
I loved the theme of A Bug’s Land. The 4-D film is a lot of fun too.
One of the most expensive rides in the world and you can see why! Radiator Springs Racers looked fantastic. Pity about the queue.
One of the most expensive rides in the world and you can see why! Radiator Springs Racers looked fantastic. Pity about the queue.
The Santa Monica Pier/Boardwalk inspired Paradise Pier has some fun rides - particularly California Screaming and the rocking Ferris Wheel.
The Santa Monica Pier/Boardwalk inspired Paradise Pier has some fun rides – particularly California Screaming and the rocking Ferris Wheel.

 The Shows

In addition to enjoying a few of the rides, we were also able to see the obligatory Disney parade as well as California Adventure’s answer to the Disney World fireworks display – the amazing World of Colour.

I can’t really do this one justice in words and, sadly, it wasn’t easy to photograph either. But picture fountains of water and fire, your favourite Disney/Pixar music, and projected images of some of your favourite films. It’s really a very stirring display.

Ariel singing the beautiful "Part of Your World" projected against the fountains.
Ariel singing the beautiful “Part of Your World” projected against the fountains.
Bright and colourful Jelly Fish representing Finding Nemo
Bright and colourful Jelly Fish representing Finding Nemo

 

A rather inventive puffer-fish joins the parade.
A rather inventive puffer-fish joins the parade.
A remarkably gymnastic Jessie Jane. Would hit it.
A remarkably gymnastic Jessie from Toy Story 2. Would probably hit it.
The ridiculously popular Mater from Cars rounded out the show.
The ridiculously popular Mater from Cars rounded out the show.

Dinner with a Princess (or five)

I made mention of Heather’s Little Mermaid obsession when I wrote about our visit to New York. You know it’s an obsession when you catch her holding a singing Ariel toy to her ear and gazing off lovingly into the middle distance.

Nomadic American cheats on me with Ariel emotionally
Nomadic American cheats on me (emotionally) with Ariel at the Times Square Disney Princess Store.

This obsession reached fever pitch when we realized that California Adventure not only had a Little Mermaid themed ride full of singing animatronics (a bit shit, really) but also had Ariel’s Grotto Restaurant where you had the opportunity to meet Ariel and dine with some of Disney’s most iconic princesses.

Those who know me know that I’m a sucker for a few things: romance, good food, and spending money. This combined all three!

We made our reservation, rocked up as the sun went down, and prepared to help Heather fulfill a lifelong dream. I know it’s a bit silly. These pretty people with their wigs and expensive costumes aren’t the characters from the movies we loved growing up, but part of the Disney magic is that you actually feel excited and nervous as they approach.

Heather is super excited to meet Ariel. Me? I'm wondering if it's possible to hit that 'have a threesome' bucket list item...
Heather is super excited to meet Ariel. Me? I’m wondering if it’s possible to hit that ‘have a threesome’ bucket list item…

With the formalities of meeting Ariel (although I would have been much more impressed if she had been rocking the shell bikini and fish tail), it was time to be seated.

We got lucky and landed a seat outdoors overlooking the fountains and Paradise Pier. After a stinking hot California day, it was a nice reprieve from the heat.

Brace for food pics!

Fantastic appetizer platter. Sweet Lord.
Fantastic appetizer platter. Sweet Lord.

 

My delicious chicken was an improvement on my earlier bagel.
My delicious chicken was an improvement on my earlier bagel.
Desserts! Amazing, sweet desserts!
Desserts! Amazing, sweet desserts!

We enjoyed our four course meal (there was also bread) and an overpriced cocktail as we soaked in the ambience. And then, as we were finishing dinner and awaiting dessert, trumpets sounded! A herald announced the coming of the princesses and, one by one, we were visited by Belle, Aurora, Cinderella, and Snow White.

It was again a strange case of celebrity excitement as these nameless, underpaid actresses came out and posed for photos. Some (like Cinderella) were all business. Others (like Snow White) were 100% committed to character. And some (Aurora) were so lovely and personable that they made me actually give a shit about Sleeping Beauty.

Oh! And Aurora even taught me how to stand like a Prince!

You can call me Prince Beardy Git.
Aurora and I. You can call me Prince Beardy Git.
Snow White was an absolute champ posing with both of us for multiple shots. She even sounded the part!
Snow White was an absolute champ posing with both of us for multiple shots. She even sounded the part!

Our dinner might have been about as expensive as you’d expect from a Disney Park, but it was a really fun experience. We could have opted for something from a stall or some snacks from our handy backpack, but taking a break to dine with the Disney princess at California Adventure is a memory that’ll stick with me far longer than any number of soggy donuts and sun-warmed guacamole.

Your Say

Have you ever splashed a little extra cash for some fan time with your favourite Disney characters? Or just for a little added opulence on your own theme park visit?

 

Countdowns

The 10 Best Movies About Travel

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I recently raised the question on my Facebook page: What are your favourite movies about travel? 

The question drew quite a few answers that ranged from the predictable nominations for films such as Into the Wild and The Motorcycle Diaries to less conventional picks such as Like Crazy and National Lampoon’s Vacation (although I’m pretty sure this last one was intended as tongue in cheek).

It got me thinking about what movies I consider to be the best movies about travel. There are too many to count, but I’ve done my best to limit it to just ten.

Honorable Mentions: The Beach, Road Trip, National Lampoon’s European Vacation, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, and Sex Drive.

Ones I Haven’t Seen: The Motorcycle Diaries and Like Crazy.

Reader Suggestions: Only You, Under the Tuscan Sun, A Map for Saturday.

Am I missing any? Enlighten me!

 

The Countdown

#10 – The Inbetweeners Movie

This one is a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine,  but it’s set in Greece so it totally qualifies as a travel movie! It may be full of gross out humour and sex jokes, but the hallmarks of a good (albeit very blokey) trip are there: booze, a bit of heart-break, embarassment, dodgy accommodation, cultural confusion, arguments, parties, and mates just having a good time.

I want to go there: The boys get more than a little silly in Malia, Crete – one of many ‘party islands’ in the Mediterannean that draw British teens and travelers like bees to honey.

#9 – Eurotrip

At about the same maturity level as The Inbetweeners, this slightly older road trip comedy showcases much more of Europe as a group of American friends travel across the continent trying to reunite one of their number with his (of course) smoking hot German pen-pal.

They drink absinthe in Amsterdam, encounter football hooligans in England, deal with handsy Italians, get stranded in a scary former Soviet State, have a run in with the Pope, and there’s some awkward incest, public nudity, and dominatrix stuff in there to keep the American audience pleased.

It might not be a particularly accurate depiction of Europe, but it certainly does a good job of showing just how silly life on the road can be with the right company.

I want to go there: The action starts in London, progresses to Paris, and then hits Amsterdam, Bratislava (Slovakia), and the Vatican City for the grand finale.

#8 – Midnight in Paris

I saw this one on a flight from the United States back to China last year and immediately fell in love with it. A writer in a less than happy relationship wanders the streets of Paris at midnight and is inadvertantly whisked back in time to when the city was the place to be for the creative elite.

Set against the backdrop of Paris then (in the 1920s) and now, Midnight in Paris has single-handedly convinced me that someday I would like to visit Paris so I can try and organise my own meeting with Earnest Hemingway, Salvador Dali, and Pablo Picasso.

I want to go there: Paris is a pretty easy place to find on a map, and it’s not as hard as you’d think to find cheap apartment accommodation in Paris either.

#7 – Sideways

A little more low key than the road trip movies at #9 and #10 on the list, Sideways follows a pair of friends on a tour through the Santa Barbara wine country in California.

Maybe it’s because it (like Midnight in Paris) features a down on his luck writer, but I remember being really drawn to this movie back when I first saw it. The struggle between the mild-mannered Giamatti and Haden-Church’s self destructive need to get laid ‘one last time’ reminds me of a few trips I’ve had in my time as well.

Sadly, I was never the sex crazed casanova.

I want to go there: The film takes place in California’s Santa Ynez Valley.

#6 – The Hangover

Aaand we’re back to gross out humour. These movies may be more about laughs and stupid antics than travel, but the first and second (I’ve yet to see the third) do feature travel rather prominently.

Whether it’s a bachelor party in Las Vegas or a few days spent hopelessly lost in Bangkok, both films feature the classic elements of any unforgettable trip: booze, sex, misunderstandings, arguments, cultural confusion, and a little danger.

None of us may know an Alan or a Phil – but we know people who are watered down versions of them. Hell, we may even be one of them. Myself? I’ve always felt that Bradley Cooper and I are remarkably similar in appearance…

I want to go there: The first film takes place in Las Vegas. The second takes place in Bangkok, Thailand.

#5 – Planes, Trains, and Automobiles

We go back a ways here to snatch this absolutely classic Steve Martin/John Candy double. One of the all time great comedies is all about travel. Well, it’s all about when travel goes wrong. It’s also about those unlikely friendships we’re forced to forge when we’re on the road, and John Candy does it better than any today could ever hope to as the sympathetic baffoon.

I want to go there: Martin and Candy travel (by plane, train, and automobile) between Chicago and New York in the United States.

#4 – Up!

up-poster

This one would be high on any list of movies I wrote. I’ve seen it a half dozen times and I’ve welled up a half dozen times. It is most definitely a better love story than Twilight.

A surly old widower, a young Asian-American kid with an absentee father, a talking dog, and a giant bird travel by house (with balloons, of course) to a mysterious jungle kingdom to fulfill the dreams of Carl Frederickson’s recently deceased wife.

The reason I love this movie isn’t so much the travel, but the message behind it. In choosing to marry Carl, the late Ellie didn’t give up her dreams of adventure – she simply chose to have an entirely different adventure with the man she loved. It’s a wonderfully bittersweet and romantic film and one I’d recommend to anybody.

I want to go there: Alas, ‘Paradise Falls’ does not exist – but it was based on Venezuela’s Angel Falls.

#3 – The Darjeeling Limited

Three estranged brothers travel across India on one of its notorious trains in hopes of reuniting with their mother. In true Wes Anderson style, this one is delightfully off-beat and quirky; full of almost unlovable characters who are somehow charming.

This one portrays travel with bickering family members brilliantly, but also shows bits of India’s culture and beauty along the way.

I want to go there: There is no real ‘Darjeeling Unlimited’ train, but the film was shot in Rajasthan and India does boast several luxury trains you could recreate the action aboard.

#2 – Into the Wild

The heir apparent to the throne, this biopic about the ill-fated Christopher McCandless (aka Alexander Supertramp) has inspired countless people across the world with its message of shrugging off society’s expectations and getting out to explore the world.

While it does end with McCandless death from starvation in the Arctic, the journey to get to that grim place is uplifting and beautiful. I challenge you to watch the movie and not want to shrug on a backpack and go see something – work be damned.

I want to go there: McCandless’ journey takes him through Arizona, Northern California, South Dakota, the Grand Canyon & Colorado River, Las Angeles, Mexico, and eventually Alaska.

#1 – Lost in Translation

No movie has better summarized and shared the feelings of loneliness, alienation, and general confusion that a traveler in Asia for the first time experiences better than this one.

Having seen it before I went to live in South Korea, I never truly appreciated the relatively slow paced, atmosphere driven film. But after you’ve been in Asia and seen its bright lights, ‘strange’ cultural quirks, and felt that isolation for yourself – you really get an appreciation for how true to life this film is.

The other films on this list may glorify travel; Lost in Translation tells it as it often is; lonely, confusing, amusing, uplifting, strange, and sad. Often all at once.

I want to go there: The film takes place in Tokyo, but you’ll find these brightly lit, crowded cities across eastern Asia.

Your Say

What do you think? What are your favourite movies about travel? Have I made any glaring omissions? Are you horrified that I’ve included a film you hate?

Share the wealth! I’d love to see a few more movies about travel.

Note: I left Eat, Pray, Love off on purpose. Awful fucking movie. Awful fucking book.

Australia, Canada, China, Cooking, Countdowns, and 7 more
Japan, Japan, New Zealand, Queenstown, South Korea, Thailand

The Eleven Best Eats from Around the World

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You can probably tell it by looking at me, but I’m a man who likes his food. And, luckily for me, I’m also a man who has liked foods wherever he’s traveled. This lifestyle isn’t one for the picky eaters – especially when you’re traveling through countries where tarantulas, live octopus, honey bees, and even man’s best friend are likely to be on the menu!

No more talk. Let’s just get straight to it. The ten best (in my mind) foods from around the world.

#11 – Poutine, Canada

The only one on this list I’ve yet to try with anything resembling authenticity, what’s not to love about the union of french fries, gravy, and cheese? Canada’s national dish (unless moose soaked in maple syrup counts) is a staple in Montreal and across the country. What better way to follow up a boozy day at one of Montreal’s music festivals than with this delightful dish?

This may look like the 'after' shot of a poutine meal, but it's the before and it's so, so good.
This may look like the ‘after’ shot of a poutine meal, but it’s the before and it’s so, so good.

Want to know more about eating poutine, speaking Quebecois (their swear words are all Church words!), and seeing the Great White North? Check out the Tourisme Montreal website.

#10 – Nasi Goreng, Indonesia

It might translate as ‘fried rice’ but nasi goreng is so, so much more than that. On its lonesome it may ‘just’ be wonderfully spiced rice with a fried egg on top, but it’s commonly served with friend chicken or satay chicken, prawn crackers, seafood, and/or various vegetables.

Nasi Goreng
Fried rice on steroids

It’s a heavenly good meal.

#9 – Meat Pie, Australia

Many may argue that Vegemite, Tim Tams, Lamingtons, or Pavlova are Australia’s greatest gift to the world. Still others may argue that it was the British who invented the meat pie.

Meat, gravy, pastry, and sauce. All an Aussie bloke needs.
Meat, gravy, pastry, and sauce. All an Aussie bloke needs.

But for mine, there’s nothing as quintessentially Aussie as a piping hot meat pie with a fat dollop of tomato sauce (ketchup) smack-bang in the middle of it.

If the brown, lumpy gravy doesn’t appetize – there’s always a cornucopia of flavoursome choices to pick from at any bakery, service station, or 7-11.

#8 – Jaozi (Dumplings), China

Chinese food and I have had a bit of a love/hate relationship since I got here last March. Prior to China, I’d had food poisoning once in my life; I’ve had it six times in the past twelve months. Case in point, I felt near death on the Karakorum Highway in Xinjiang last May.

Although in China’s defense, one of those times came while eating Chinese food in Sydney.

The humble dumpling. It might not be exotic, but it's almost always awesome.
The humble dumpling. It might not be exotic, but it’s almost always awesome.

But one thing that never fails to hit the spot for me is jaozi: the humble dumpling. What you pay $8 for a dozen of in Australia is available on every street corner in China for pocket change, and it’s so damn good! Flavour it with a little black vinegar and some chili paste and you’re laughing.

Baozi (steamed buns) go alright as well, but jaozi gets the nod for me.

#7  – Churrasco, Brazil

It’s all you can eat meat. If that doesn’t excite you, you’re obviously a filthy hippie and I’ll have no further part in this conversation.

Brazil’s biggest export not playing football is literally big skewers of meat being carted around a room for you to pick and choose from. Chicken, beef, pork, lamb, shellfish, fish, potato, and cinnamon laced pineapple are all just begging to be washed back with healthy servings of beer, wine, or whatever your poison may be.

Churrasco is not for the faint (or weak) of heart.
Churrasco is not for the faint (or weak) of heart.

#6 – Sushi, Japan

My first taste (pun intended) of adventurous eating was sampling some sushi at the Cardiff Worker’s Club in my early teen years. In hindsight, I doubt shrimp atop rice is seen as particularly adventurous – but it’s a love affair from which I’ve never looked back.

Bright, colourful, and (most importantly) delicious sushi.
Bright, colourful, and (most importantly) delicious sushi.

Call me an elitist, but I do like my meal to have at least taken some effort in the preparation; so while some may prefer sashimi, I prefer something my serve dead and uncooked atop some rice.

#5 – Hungi, New Zealand

Like BBQs? How about a BBQ that’s cooked under the ground? A hungi is a whole bunch of food being cooked in a pit in the ground!

It's a hungi, bru! The pit ready to be filled with potatoes and meat.
It’s a hungi, bru! The pit ready to be filled with potatoes and meat.

And while it may be a relatively simple assortment of meats and vegetables, it’s remarkably good and eating it is a slightly more interesting experience that rocking up to the Maccas drive-thru and asking for ‘the usual’. And Jesus, it saddens me that I have a ‘usual’ at the local McDonalds.

Maybe it was the pressure of having several face painted, spear wielding, fierce looking Maoris watching me as I ate – but it was hard not to smile and say “It’s wonderful”.

I double dare you to say otherwise in the same circumstances.

#4 – Pad Thai, Thailand

It was hard to select just one Thai dish to include on this list. Green (and red) curries get my taste buds erect and there’s a bunch of other unpronounceable dishes that taught my tongue to feel things it had never felt before when I visited earlier in the year – but the criminally simple noodle dish takes the cake.

Pad Thai. A gift from the Gods.
Pad Thai. A gift from the Gods.

Noodles, delicious Thai spices, a bit of chicken or seafood, and some mother-fugging crumbles peanuts on top? How is this not the most popular food in the world?

#3 – Curry, India

Wow, Chris. ‘Curry’? You can’t get more specific than that?

No, I can’t. So shut the hell up.

Curry is awesome.

Butter chicken? Awesome.

Rogan Josh? Awesome.

Shahi Korma? Awesome

Vindaloo? Awesome

Butter chicken. As tempted as you might be to use it in foreplay, it's probably best left out of the bedroom.
Butter chicken. As tempted as you might be to use it in foreplay, it’s probably best left out of the bedroom.

And add to that the fragrant delight that is Naan bread and wash it back with a sweet glass of lassi? Heaven! I’m so glad that China has an abundance of Indian immigrants willing to share the awesomeness of their seemingly endless variety of curries with us.

#2 – Dalk Galbi, South Korea

That first word? It’s pronounced ‘duck’. There’s no duck in this dish, though.

Noodles, chicken (or tofu), potato, vegetables, and chewy rice cakes (the titular ‘dalk’) all served in a delightfully spicy broth is improved with the addition of a few hard-to-melt slices of American cheese. It’s sinfully good.

It tastes infinitely better than it looks. Photo courtesy of Teaching ESL in Korea.
It tastes infinitely better than it looks. Photo courtesy of Teaching ESL in Korea.

It’s so good that – in a country full of fantastic foods – it was my nomination for my last meal in Korea.

I’ve been trying to find a place that makes it in Australia, Thailand, or China ever since.

#1 – Hamburger, United States

After all of the above exotic foods, it probably feels like a bit of a slap in the face to see the not-so-humble hamburger sitting at the top of the list.

But you know what? It’s my list. And while all of the above carry the risk of disappointment if made incorrectly to food poisoning if made woefully incorrectly – a hamburger has never let me down.

I can walk into the dodgiest dive bar or a restaurant boasting the flimsiest connection to ‘western cuisine’ anywhere in the world and still get a burger that is – at worst – passable.

And when done right? A hamburger is a delightful fusion of flavours that beggars belief. If you haven’t experienced that before – you obviously haven’t been to Fergburger in Queenstown, New Zealand. (Read more about my trip to Queenstown).

The world's best burger? I'll fight you if you say otherwise. (Unless you're correct, in which case I'll hug you for enlightening me). Photo from The Silver Chef.
The world’s best burger? I’ll fight you if you say otherwise.
(Unless you’re correct, in which case I’ll hug you for enlightening me). Photo from The Silver Chef.

Hell, try Choppers on Koh Tao, Thailand if NZ is a bridge too far.

Or, y’know, one of the countless thousands of burger joints across America claiming to make the best burger.

Your Say

I’ve said my piece (for better or worse), so now you can say yours. What are your favourite foods from around the world?

Remember – no more than one from each country, you dirty cheater!

Bucket List, Busan, Countdowns, Las Vegas, Thailand

Bucket List Focus: Debauched Boys’ Weekend (#131)

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My stupidly long bucket list of 302 things to do before I die has a huge range of items on it that range from the weird to the pedestrian and the life threatening to the more symbolic; but one of the items I’m most keen to someday check off the list is to have a thoroughly debauched boys’ weekend away in a country other than the one I live in.

What defines ‘debauched’? Drinks, a bit of reckless stupidity, and girls of the unpaid variety. There are other sites out there with a very liberal view of sex tourism – and while I don’t feel the need to demonize it – it’s also not something I’m going to glorify on these pages.

Reading the above criteria, you’d likely find suitable nominees in most countries in the world. Hell, most states/provinces probably boast an option or two. But let’s go big or go home. Here are five places I reckon would be perfect for a debauched boys’ weekend or bachelor party.

#5 – Busan, South Korea

This one might jump out at you a little. I mean, I’d say 90% of you haven’t even heard of South Korea’s second largest city. And why would you have? In a land of unremarkable beaches, it’s not exactly a selling point to be the beach capital. It doesn’t have the western influence that makes Seoul such an accessible place for foreigners and it’s not as pretty as Hainan or as historical as cities such as Gyeonju or Daejeon.

But Busan is probably the sight of my most debauched adventures to date: my night on Texas Street. For an alternate perspective on the same night, you can also read about the adventures of Byron on Texas Street. He’s the charming lad pictured below.

New friends on Texas Street.
New friends on Texas Street.

What makes Busan a good location for a boys’ weekend away?

  • Beaches: Sure, the beaches aren’t red-hot, but they’re beaches.  Gwangalli Beach and Haeundae Beach are the city’s most well known beaches. There are noraebangs (singing rooms), amusement parks, fantastic Korean BBQ joints, and a smattering of western resaurants as well.
  • The Foreigner Scene:  – Busan boasts a sizable foreigner population made up largely of young, drunk teachers out to experience a little of life. With six separate night life districts (KSU, Haeundae, Gwangan/Gwangalli, Nampodong, PNU, and Seomyeon) each possessing a  selection of night clubs, foreigner bars, and Korean bars – there’s rarely a night where something drunken and silly isn’t happening in Busan.Foreigners being foreigners, the westerners hanging out in Busan are always up for a late night of drinking, noraebang, BBQ, and a little Devil may care silliness. I never had as much fun (with the ladies) as I did living in Busan for five or six months.
  • Hangover Soup: So good it warrants its own point. Hangover Soup (made with pork spine) is a spicy, hearty broth that never fails to burn away a hangover. Consumed post boozy night or right after you wake up, it never fails.
  • Texas Street: Busan’s own den of iniquity, Texas Street is a poorly lit stretch of road lined with clubs, bars, massage parlours, cheap hotels, and the kind of establishments where a man can get up to mischief. Now while I said I didn’t endorse sex tourism, I don’t see the harm in paying a visit to a juicy girl bar where the girls flirt and kiss the clientelle in exchange for a few drinks. While I imagine you can go a bit further, I’d personally rather hit one of the aforementioned foreigner bars and live and die on my own merits.

#4 – Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

The girls, the music, the samba music, the girls… Brazil’s not capital come World Cup would be just about the most insane place to party on earth. It’d probably feel like one of the most expensive and crowded too, but when you’re drinking and celebrating life – a crowd isn’t exactly the end of the world.

Why yes, everything you're saying *is* intelligent and fascinating. Please go on.
Why yes, everything you’re saying *is* intelligent and fascinating. Please go on.

A night out with the boys starts with drinks over all-you-can-eat churassco BBQ, kick on to a doubtlessly hot and sweaty club, and hopefully end with one of the legendary Brazilian beauties taking a shine to my pale, ginger-bearded ass and lowering her standards lower than her limbo record.

#3 – Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Oh, real original Chris. The city with a world famous red light district, legal marijuana, and so many backpackers that the place probably permanently bears the lingering stink of damp socks and unwashed armpits.

Party on a boat? Don't mind if I do. Photo from Culture Shock Therapy.
Party on a boat? Don’t mind if I do. Photo from Culture Shock Therapy.

When in Europe, Amsterdam is one of the obvious places to go for an insane boy’s weekend – although it’s got stiff competition from Ibiza, several Greek islands, Prague, and Berlin with its beer and buxom Frauleins. Really, you could take out a dart and throw it at a map and find a good place to have a stupid adventure in Europe. Hollywood doesn’t make moves like Euro Trip, The Inbetweeners Movie, and European Vacation about the place because it’s dull.

And yes, I realize The Inbetweeners was probably not Hollywood produced. I was having a hard time thinking of movies

#2 – Bangkok, Thailand

“Holler, holler! City of squalor!”

Long before The Hangover 2 painted Bangkok as a seedy, sweaty, and insane place to party – men from Australia and around the world were flooding Thailand’s capital in search of good times on a budget.

Cheap drinks, mouthgasm inducing Thai food, nightclubs and bars custom built for stupid nights out on the town, and… well… you have seen the movie, right? Ping pong shows, lady boys making every decision just a bit risky, the bright lights and strip clubs of Soi Cowboy, and… well… I’m sure you’ll figure out the rest. I wouldn’t chance it in Thailand, but many have and many probably still will.

That's not Las Vegas - that's Soi Cowboy, Bangkok's own little strip of Sin City.
That’s not Las Vegas – that’s Soi Cowboy, Bangkok’s own little strip of Sin City.

Me? I reckon a night of drinks, naked girls dancing, Thai food, and loud music would suffice. I don’t need to risk an STD and encourage a Thai industry built on drug addiction and poverty. But I promised not to get preachy, didn’t I?

#1 – Las Vegas

The city that puts all other party cities to shame – Las Vegas is just the balls and the cat’s pajamas (or meow, if you’d prefer) when it comes to debauched boys’ nights out. Swingers, What Happens in Vegas, The Hangover, Honey, I Blew Up the Kid… Uh, wait. Maybe not that one.

Just me and a couple of admirers along Fremont Street. No biggie.
Just me and a couple of admirers along Fremont Street. No biggie.

Casinos, cheap alcohol, shows ranging from plays to stand up to the more risque, strip clubs, cheap eats, expensive cars, ridiculously expensive suites, indoor fucking roller-coasters, street performance, sky diving, show girls… Need I go on?

(Please don’t answer yes; I’m running low on things)

Las Vegas is the destination for drunken silliness? Hell, I wrote an entire article about my ‘bachelor party in Las Vegas‘ dream. Go read that if you want more inspiration.

Your Say

How did I do? Are there any glaring omissions?

I’ve heard Prague thrown around as a likely inclusion, but can’t figure out why. Enlighten me?

Countdowns, Croatia, estonia, Europe, Germany, and 1 more

7 Cities in Europe I’m Dying to Visit

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7 European Cities I’m Dying to Visit

…okay, well maybe not literally dying, but I’m pretty excited about the prospect of finally losing my Europe virginity in 2014. With one of my dearest friends tying the knot in London, it’s a perfect excuse to take a few extra weeks (or months) off to see the continent I’ve daydreamed longest about visiting.

I’ve had a hard time condensing it to just five to be completely honest. I also didn’t want to be terribly predictable by doing the usual Paris-London-Barcelona-Rome-Athens pentad (a group of five – my word of the day), but rest assured they’d all appear on an extended list.

While I don’t yet known how long I’ll have in Europe or even how I get there (could a Trans-Siberian Railway trip make the agenda?), I do know that the European cities below will most definitely make the cut.

You may notice that all of the cities below share a certain historic beauty. What can I say? I’m a sucker for cobblestone, spires, and gargoyles.

Also, keep in mind that Europe will soon require a visa – ETIAS will become operational in 2025!

 

#7 – Zagreb, Croatia

I’ve long been told of Croatia’s immense natural and architectural beauty, and what better place to soak in the latter than in the beating heart of Croatia. Most tourism these days seems to centre on the Croatian coast, but Zagreb proves a remarkably affordable European destination – something I’ll sorely need on my budget.

My fascination with Europe’s medieval period would be indulged in a city overflowing with classic architecture and cathedrals, cafes, and coffee shops. It’s just the kind of place I could sit for a few hours and write while soaking in the ambiance of the 900 year old Gradec section of the city. What better place to write the next great fantasy epic than by gaslight in a genuine medieval city?

#6 – Ljubljana, Slovenia

I first learned about Slovenia from my good friend, Eva (who I’d be hoping could offer me some couch space as I passed through) and I’ve wanted to visit the country ever since doing a little research. Castles, quaint rural villages, and the regal beauty of Lake Bled are all real draw-cards in Slovenia’s hand, and Ljubljana is the perfect jumping off point to see the often overlooked country.

Ljubljana in all its splendour. Photo by Andrej Trnkoczy.
Ljubljana in all its splendour. Photo by Andrej Trnkoczy.

Much like Zagreb, there’s a wealth of historic sights here to satiate the nerd in me wanting to walk along cobbled streets and pretend I’m one of my D&D characters out on a quest. Not that I’d do that. Never.

#5 – Berlin, Germany

Berlin certainly isn’t a city that is overlooked by travelers, but one of Europe’s most famous cities is remarkably affordable. Both flights and accommodation are helped by a competitive market place, so shopping around could well land me a cheaper stay than I’d anticipated.

Beer, history, German food, and (dare I say it) German girls are all a big part of the city’s appeal – but I’d make Germany one of my lengthier stays so I could explore a country of which I’ve read a great deal over the years. Between the natural beauty, the country’s rich history, and the ‘lure’ of seeing a site such as Dachau – Germany is one of my priorities for my 2014 trip.

#4 – Istanbul, Turkey

With the exception of Sydney, I don’t think there’s a city I’ve written more about on Aussie on the Road than Istanbul. My abiding fascination with Turkey has its roots in the continued badgering of a friend to move there – but the more I’ve learned, the more I find Turkey appeals to me.

Hagia Sophia interior. Photo by Moyan Brenn
Hagia Sophia interior. Photo by Moyan Brenn

Ancient Constantinople was a constant feature in my ancient history studies in school, and while Istanbul is a modern city, I’d still jump at the chance to set foot in such a storied city. The Hagia Sofia and the city’s many historic sections really draw me, but I daresay I’d spend a good chunk of time drinking and causing trouble with my mate, Anthony.

You can read more about Istanbul and my thoughts on the city in my Egypt v Turkey showdown.

#3 – Krakow, Poland

You might have picked up on a subtle ‘Chris is obsessed with medieval history and architecture’ vein in this post. I’ll fess up – the entire European medieval period fascinates me and it’s the main reason I’d love to visit Europe. Krakow is another city where you can see so much of this history up close.

Of course, there’s more dark tourism to be found in places such as the city’s Jewish Quarter, Oskar Schindler’s Factory, and nearby Auschwitz.

I’d also love to visit Bialowieza Forest, do a little castle hopping, and try out the spas I’ve read so much about.

#2 – Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Much like Berlin, Amsterdam probably features on most European itineraries. And while I would be lying if I said the red light district and the famous hash cafes are not a part of Amsterdam’s lure for me, it would be grossly underselling the place to say that my interest ended in the gutter.

Museums, cafes, canals, night life… Amsterdam just sounds like my kind of city. Much like Berlin, Amsterdam is made a bit more affordable by a variety of flights to Amsterdam and deals on hotels in Amsterdam. It’s definitely not going to be the cheapest stop on my trip, but I wager it’ll be one of the most fun.

#1 – Prague, The Czech Republic

Considered by some to be Europe’s prototypical medieval city, the beauty of Prague has made it a hugely popular tourist destination for decades. Having survived the World Wars largely unscathed, Prague still contains many of its beautiful old buildings, cathedrals, castles, bridges, and statues. It’s a veritable treasure trove of old world charm.

A castle outside of Prague as evening falls. Photo by Porechnyy Dmitry
A castle outside of Prague as evening falls. Photo by Porechnyy Dmitry

It’s architecture that really draws me to Prague, but I won’t say no to a good Czech beer either. Oh, and puppets. They’re not creepy at all.

Your Say

What are your dream European destinations?

Re-reading mine, perhaps they sound a little dour – but what they may lack in party, party, party – I feel like they make up for in eye candy. Don’t you?