Travel Writing
A younger, slightly less bald Aussie on the Road enjoying his first backpacker experience back in 2010.

Goodbye University – Aussie on the Road… Again!

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Plans Change

Earlier this year, I made what I thought was a bold move. I also thought it was the right one.

After my planned move to Thailand fell through at the eleventh hour, I decided to pursue a dream I’ve held since I’d finished my last degree and emerged from my awkward, post high school shyness by going back to university and doing it right.

Right being: Drinking lots, taking my education seriously, and meeting cool, new people.

Getting my clown on for an Alphabet Party during O-Week.
I definitely managed to meet some cool people. Here’s a selection of the posse out and about for an Alphabet Party during O-Week.

I packed my life into a tiny dorm room, embraced the world of goon and cheap beer, and began to immerse myself in textbooks, tutorials, and late night movie marathons.

I was transported into a world both familiar and maddeningly unfamiliar. The teen drama that I had once been such a big part of was now a kind of farce played out before me.

The insistence on perfect Harvard referencing that had seemed so important when I finished my first degree now seemed arbitrary and nit-picky.

Buying ramen noodles in bulk after years of eating out seemed like lunacy.

That’s not to say it wasn’t a lot of fun. It was a fun little exercise in time travel to be a student again. To worry about essays and due dates, but not about paying electricity bills or preparing a lesson plan.

Enjoying the freezing cold water at the Promised Lands.
Enjoying the freezing cold water at the Promised Lands. Photo by SCU Village Coffs Harbour.

It was a special kind of pleasant to sleep until 2pm on a weekday and know that if I wrote a few hundred words on that essay I had due in a week’s time, I could play video games and watch movies until the wee hours.

Drink lots. Sleep in. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Not Enough

I can’t stress enough how much fun it has to be a part of that world again.

It’s going to be difficult to say goodbye to the friends I’ve made and leave behind my life in Coffs Harbour, no matter how brief it might have been.

The whole gang enjoying some high stakes (and low skill) pool.
The whole gang enjoying some high stakes (and low skill) pool.

While it has at times been frustrating to deal with fights between friends over absolutely nothing, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed being the wise older observer. It’s been surreal to see scenes play out in front of me that I remember being involved in (or even instigating) first time around.

That kid crying out in the car park over a girl is me ten years ago.

Those friends feuding over a perceived slight? That’s my best friend and I.

The dizzying highs and crippling lows. The righteous indignation and the love that blossoms and fades.

18 year old CWB was a bundle of emotions.
18 year old CWB was a bundle of emotions.

It’s all so fascinating and, in a weird way, beautiful. It’s not that I’ve outgrown it or that I feel I have become superior to it.

It’s that I remember how it was to feel that deeply. I remember fondly the way my stomach would get butterflies at the merest glance from a pretty girl, and I miss that.

These days it takes a hell of a lot to make me feel much of anything, and while the loves I have known have been far deeper and more substantial to anything I felt as an awkward teen – they’ve never quite reached the dizzying, gotta have you heights of those days.

This same photo was taken ten years earlier at our graduation. I wish I had a copy.
This same guys (plus one extra) ten years later. A happier, more worldly CWB.

It’s all exacerbated by knowing what’s out there.

When I was in college the first time around, it was my world.

I had my friends and I had my social scene and I had my university requirements. I lived and died by that.

It’s been hard to force myself to sit at a desk and summarize a chapter on management styles when I know that I could be out there seeing the world. Friends and bloggers I admire are out having fascinating adventures and while I don’t envy them that, I found it hard to feel as invested in life at university when I know full well it’s not the be all and end all.

One of my most successful friends is the one who didn’t finish his degree. Meanwhile, I spent three years after I finished mine (with the offer to do Honours, no less) working retail and playing World of WarCraft.

The world doesn’t end at university, and doing well at it doesn’t necessarily put you in a better position to take on the world. Once you know that, it becomes bloody hard to take it all so seriously.

Learning for Learning’s Sake

My first semester studying Tourism Management comes to an end in a fortnight. I’m rocking a High Distinction average in Business Law, Management, and Tourism Theory and a frustrating Distinction in Communications. Academically, that’s better than anything I managed in my three years studying theatre. I’m rapt.

I’ve enjoyed studying something I’m passionate about and, more than that, I’ve enjoyed learning for the sake of learning. I focus on the elements of my courses that fascinate me, and those that don’t seem relevant to me are skimmed over.

Studying tourism has been a fascinating ride.
Studying tourism has been a fascinating ride.

Rather than agonizing over whether or not I understand this or that aspect of a given class, I instead ask myself what I’ll take away from it.

How will this knowledge benefit me in my life after I graduate?

If my answer is “It doesn’t”, then fuck it. Why am I wasting my time and stressing over something that doesn’t matter?

Once I adopted this view, stressing over due dates seemed foolish. If I was doing enough to pass, did it really matter what somebody else thought?

Isn’t the value of education what you take away from it?

I did well in my first degree, but I’m going to be brutally honest and say I remember next to nothing from my time there. Why would I? Theatre has not been a part of my life since the curtain fell on my last performance, and so it’s made room for more important things.

Who needs to be able to quote Othello when the conversion rate on the Chinese Yuan to the Australian dollar has more day to day relevance?

This all lead me to a decision: If I’m learning for my own benefit rather than the benefit (if any) I’ll get from a piece of paper, do I really need to be on campus? Can’t I take my books home and just learn in my own way?

This is how I work. A laptop, a textbook, and absolute silence.
This is how I work. A laptop, a textbook, and absolute silence.

And that’s what I did. I attended classes when the topics interested me, but for the most part I found I learned much more efficiently in my room with a textbook. If that’s the case, why am I pinning myself down to one spot on a map?

And, more importantly, why am I pinning myself to a place on the map that doesn’t energize and excite me?

Moving On

This has all been a rather lengthy and elaborate way of saying that, as of two weeks from now, I’m going on the road again.

After my upcoming trip to China and East Africa, I’ll return home, pack my things, and start on that wonderful, dizzying, unknowable road that leads me to wherever the hell it wants.

Empty passport? Sounds like a challenge to me!
Empty passport? Sounds like a challenge to me!

I found somebody willing to take over my lease at college, I’ve switched my classes to external, and I’ll be continuing my education (and my adventures) from someplace far from here.

Maybe it will be China again. Lord knows, I’ve got a lot of that vast, fascinating country to explore.

Or maybe I’ll explore a different corner of Asia? Malaysia, Thailand, or Vietnam?

Maybe I’ll try my luck in the Middle East and renew my love affair with Dubai?

Do as I’ve been told countless times before and finally give Turkey a go?

All I know is that, as much as I love my friends and family in Australia, I don’t love living here.

I don’t like the person I feel I have to be to fit in here, and I don’t like that being here means leaving behind the best version of me.

I was born to be on the road and out of my element, even though I’m most ‘in my element’ when I’m out of it. Go figure.

Travel Tips

How to Get Fit For Your Next Trip

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In his second of three guest posts on the site, Peter Brown – Transformation Specialist has some practical tips on the how of getting in good shape for your big trip. As I prepare to head to China and Africa, I’m certainly appreciating his advice and support as I look to shed a few more pounds and get in hiking shape for my Great Wall adventure.

But enough from me, I’ll leave you in the capable hands of Pete.

How to Get Fit for your Next Trip

In last week’s article, “10 Reasons to be in Good Shape before Traveling”, Chris and I collaborated to give you our insights and opinions from our travels experiences as to why fitness should be considered before traveling.

In this article I intend to simplify the sheer amount of conflicting information available about getting fit and summarise ‘how to get fit for travel’ into three easy steps.

Being fit opens up doors to a lot of adventures.
Being fit opens up doors to a lot of adventures.

  1. Set the End Date and Determine the Goal

Knowing how much time you have is important; this one is easy because your travel date will be your end date. This end date now gives you one half of the destination for your health and fitness journey.

The other half of that destination is the goal; by the end date you will have achieved what?

For example: by the 12/09/2015 I will have lost 5kg

Make the goal realistic and preferably ease to achieve, the easier it is to achieve for you, the more likely you will be to achieve it.

An easy way to know if your goal is achievable is to look at the time-frame you have.

For a weight loss goal you would aim to only lose between .1 and .5 kg of body weight per week.

Any more than that and you will have to deprive yourself and work pretty hard, Let’s be realistic: chances are as soon as you go away you’ll binge and put it all back on.

  1. Make the Decision and ask yourself “Why?”

This might sound a little obvious to you but this is probably the most important step, more important than knowing what to eat and how much exercise to do.

When trying to lose weight or get fit the majority of people go in halfheartedly and don’t have a strong grasp on why they are even trying to achieve their goal in the first place.

Typically these people might set a goal because they think it will make them feel better by achieving it.

However, the process of achieving that result tends to become more overwhelming and uncomfortable than how they felt before setting out to achieve their goal; resulting in the person settling for less than they set out to achieve.

To avoid this you need to create a strong emotional reason behind ‘why’ you want to achieve that goal.

high school reunion
One of my goals in 2011 was to lose weight so I could look good at my High School Reunion.

It might be because you know by losing that weight you will be able to go sky diving, climb the Eiffel Tower, feel more comfortable sight-seeing and get around easier, or feel more confident in your favourite outfit.

There is no right or wrong reasons for wanting to achieve your goal and there can never be too many reasons ‘why’.

  1. Don’t go Crazy, be realistic!

The last step to take toward getting fit for your next trip is creating a realistic plan for success.

Most people will embark on a crazy 6-7 day per week exercise schedule and drastically cut calories, carbs, and other food groups in an attempt to lose weight or get fit.

The others won’t even try to lose weight or get fit because they think the aforementioned measures are what it takes to get into shape.

You can see how both scenarios are rather extreme, that is our nature as humans. We either throw ourselves completely into something or we don’t do it at all.

The key to long term success is to find the middle ground.

To find that middle ground you need to apply what I spoke about earlier in point number one about setting an achievable goal to the changes you make.

By making small changes you will achieve those small changes which will make you feel good about yourself and every time you make another small change you will feel even better about yourself and those small changes will add up into larger changes.

Triumphant after finishing the 2010 City 2 Surf in Sydney.
When I tackled the City 2 Surf in 2010, I didn’t start by trying to run 15k. I used the Couch to 5k program to get there by increments.

For example, you might already know your whole diet can do with a make-over but instead of trying to change everything at once you just focus on eating a better breakfast for a whole week.

The following week you might turn your attention to your mid-morning snack. Then lunch the week after so on and so forth. It will take less time to achieve those small changes and you will have created a massive change to your entire diet.

The same can be applied to exercise. Week one you might only complete one 15 minute workout, week two you might do two. As the weeks go by you turn your focus to increasing the length of time you spend working out or the intensity of the workout and before you know it you have yourself another well-formed habit of regularly exercising.

Small changes are key to permanent success; achieving small goals successfully turn into bigger and better goals.

In Conclusion

The truth is most people will achieve remarkable changes in body shape, energy levels, and health by employing a moderate approach.

For more on how to structure a moderate approach to your health and fitness you can sign up to my Free Fat Loss eCourse.

Over six days you will receive an email each day outlining the areas that influence fat loss and practical tips on how to start achieving results for yourself.

To sign up simply click here.

Your Say

Do you have some helpful tips on how to get fit before you hit the road?

 

Travel Tips
Want to fly somewhere in regional Australia? Grab your ankles...

Guest Post: What You Need to Know About Moving to Australia

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Obviously I’m not considering moving to Australia. In fact, I’m on the verge of making a very exciting announcement about which country other than Australia will be my home next. When the PSS Removals team reached out about sharing this post, however, I was impressed by the fact they’d shared a few tidbits about Australia I didn’t even know myself. There’s a few really fascinating little factoids to be found within.

Read on…

What You Need to Know About Moving to Australia

Have you ever considered a move ‘down under’ or as some like to call it, ‘the land of wonder’? More than 85% of Australians live within fifty kilometers of the coast and should anyone ever decide to visit one new beach in the country every day, it would take them over twenty seven years to see them all – with facts like that it’s not hard to understand why expats are flocking to Australia.

Editor’s Note: Truth be told, I have never found beaches anywhere else on earth that compare to my favourite beaches in Australia. The perfect combination of climate, white sand, clear waters, and surf.

Tell me this doesn't look like heaven? A beach all to myself!
Tell me this doesn’t look like heaven? A beach all to myself!

You also may not know that the Australian Alps even receive more snowfall per year than Switzerland, Tasmania has the cleanest air globally and there are over sixty designated wine regions. Furthermore, Australia is the only country in the world with an original police force consisting of the most well-behaved convicts!

Editor’s Note: I knew about the wine regions. You can even read about my experiences as a wine virgin in wine country.

A wine (and chocolate) tasting at Stomp! wines in the Hunter Valley.
A wine (and chocolate) tasting at Stomp! wines in the Hunter Valley.

Australia really is a country with so much to offer; which is why an estimated 40,000 Brits are being attracted by its outdoor lifestyle, sunshine, and sense of space each year.While the UK has a massive 248.25 people per square kilometer, Australia only has 2.66 people per square kilometer.

Editor’s Note: That’s plenty of room for everybody, although that does mean some unlucky bastards are going to be out in Wolf Creek country…

Australians are renowned as a proud, strong, unfailingly friendly, and helpful bunch of people with a laid-back mentality and a ‘work hard, play hard’ ethic.

It’s a country with thriving family values, and the standard mode of entertainment is a barbecue in someone’s back yard, as opposed to the UK where many adults might just visit the pub and leave the children at home to watch TV or play computer games.

Editor’s Note: You definitely shouldn’t let my 10 Reasons I Hate Living in Australia post dissuade you. I’ve also written a 10 Reasons I Love Living in Australia post to counteract the negativity.

Also, as you will no doubt find out should you decide move there, they love sport and regularly celebrate their wins against England when it comes to both the cricket and the rugby.

Editor’s Note: And rugby league and tennis and netball and field hockey and football…

If you are seriously considering a move to Australia then first you really should learn about the history of the country. This nation of pioneers is rich in history and culture and part of becoming an expat in a new country includes embracing your new country’s heritage and traditions.

 

Uluru (or Ayers Rock) is one of Australia's most famous sites.
Uluru (or Ayers Rock) is one of Australia’s most famous sites.

The Nitty Gritty about Moving to Australia

When it comes to applying for a visa, you will be pleased to know that currently the whole process is a lot quicker than it used to be a few years ago. Depending on which visa you decide to apply for or which professional skills you might have, you could be granted a visa within a few months. Nevertheless, the online application lets you track your progress and upload all of the relevant supporting documentation easily.

Should you be planning on retiring in Australia, the UK state pension is non-transferable, and some personal pensions have special requirements, which must be met to enable a transfer. Pension funds can also sometimes be liable for tax, so check in advance what you can and can’t transfer easily. If you’re likely to need to apply for credit, whether a credit card, loan or mortgage, you should apply for a full credit report before leaving the UK in order to ascertain whether there might be outstanding issues which can be dealt with prior to arriving in Australia. Also make sure you cancel all your direct debits before leaving.

As a UK citizen, you may be temporarily covered by Medicare, Australia’s national health program, but you should check this with the Australian embassy before your departure, particularly if you have pre-existing health issues.

There's something striking about Australia just 'coming to an end' so abruptly along the Great Ocean Road.
There’s something striking about Australia just ‘coming to an end’ so abruptly along the Great Ocean Road.

As a visitor to Australia, you’re entitled to drive as a long as you have a valid driver’s license and passport together with you at all times. If you hold a permanent visa however, you can only use your UK license for a maximum of three months. Once your license is all arranged, at least you won’t have to remember to drive on the right-hand-side – Australia drives on the left, just like the UK!

With regards to shipping your goods overseas, it is recommended that you first compare the replacement costs of items of furniture and other effects with your removals company as the replacement costs of some items in Australia can be quite expensive.

PSS International Removals are the UK’s first choice for moving overseas and we have successfully helped thousands of people move to Australia since we began. We are able to offer you a professional service including additional visa, employment, banking, currency, pension transfer, pet shipping, tax rebate, education, flight and property advice through our network of trusted partners.

Visit http://www.pssremovals.com to find out more or contact us for a free quote now!

Travel Tips

10 Reason to be in Good Shape Before Traveling

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10 Reasons to be in Good Shape before Traveling

Fresh on the heels of Tuesday’s post about my ongoing battle with body image, Pete from Fisique has reached out with a guest post about the benefits of getting fit before you travel.

While his suggestions were great, I’ve made some edits to better suit the kind of travelers I know, but the heart of his post is still very much in here.

#10 – Stairs

Pete: As if the bike riding and the walking weren’t enough, you have the stairs! Stairs in just about every major tourist attraction! The stairs pictured were nothing compared to the stairs of the Arc de Triomphe but my point is be ready for the stairs.

If you’re not, they might just bite you in the ass.

Pete's other half getting in her workout climbing the stairs in the Gaudi Apartments.
Pete’s other half getting in her workout climbing the stairs in the Gaudi Apartments.

Chris: I hear that! I climbed St. Paul’s Cathedral last May and was totally unprepared for just how grueling a climb it can be if you’re out of shape. As if the ascent wasn’t tough enough, my legs barely functioned the next day – which made wandering the halls of the British Museum an exercise in self abuse.

The view was totally worth being unable to walk the next day.
The view was totally worth being unable to walk the next day.

#9 – Biking

Pete: Escaping the confines of a bus or a car is essential to really experience the culture of a destination. The quickest, cheapest and most gratifying way to see a city in my experience is the bike.

You can;

  • Go at your own pace
  • Stop where you like
  • And, get to places the roads don’t take you.

Riding a bike might sound like a piece of cake however riding a bike for 8-10 hours and expecting to be ready to go again the next day might be a challenge if you’re not in shape.

Megan, Pete's partner, getting out and seeing the sights on a bike.
Megan, Pete’s partner, getting out and seeing the sights on a bike.

Chris: I’ve made use of bikes as a way to get around while traveling a bunch of times: the Everglades, the Route of the Hiawatha, and Hangzhou were all made possible by getting on a bike.

Riding around Hangzhou’s stunning West lake in 40C summer heat was a great workout, but I was so glad I was fit enough to do it. It allowed us to see a large area in a much smaller chunk of our day, which meant we had time to shower before hitting the bars and jazz clubs.

Admittedly, we don't look nearly as good as Megan when we ride our bike.
Admittedly, we don’t look nearly as good as Megan when we ride our bike.

#8 – Party Tricks!

I don’t know about you, but learning to do a standing flip or a kip-up is on my bucket list for exactly this reason.

I need a party trick that doesn’t involve me shotgunning beers at a rate of knots.

By day he's a trainer, but by night's? Pete's a heartbreaker.
By day he’s a trainer, but by night’s? Pete’s a heartbreaker.

#7 – Confidence

Chris: One of the biggest casualties when you aren’t in your best shape is that your confidence inevitably takes a bit of a dip.

Conversely, when you’re looking and feeling good, your confidence responds accordingly.

Looking and feeling confident on the road not only means you’ll feel more up for unusual experiences, but should also mean you’re more outgoing and social. Whether you’re traveling alone or with friends. you can never have too many friends.

#6 – Traveling can be hard

Chris: When I asked my readers why they liked to be fit before they hit the road, one of them had this to say:

claudette

She’s damn right! Lugging a huge pack around can be tiring, and that’s without factoring in all of the stairs you’ll climb, jungle trails you’ll hike, streets you’ll explore, and beaches you’ll swim at!

Being in better shape means you’ll be less of a sweaty, exhausted mess when you collapse into your bed at night’s end, but it also means you’ll have the energy needed to handle the rigours of being on the road.

#5 – “Score some ass”

Chris: Another reader suggestion, but one that’s very near and dear to my heart.

mica

Like it or not, we live in a society where looks matter. Couple this with the confidence issue I mentioned in point #7, and you can see how looking and feeling your best could be of great help for those looking to make use of the top sheet in their hostel or check of one of their raunchier bucket list items.

I mean, honestly, do you think I’m going to be able to land twins for bucket list item ##181 with witty anecdotes alone?

#4 – Look better on the beach

Chris: It’s another shallow one, but I know for a fact I’m not alone in this being a major motivator when it comes to pre-trip exercising and dieting.

Pete and Megan looking fantastic in the pool.
Pete and Megan looking fantastic in the pool.

Nobody wants to feel like a beached manatee when they’re catching some rays on the beach, and shedding a couple of extra kilograms or toning what you’ve already got is a great way to feel a little bit better about going shirtless or rocking a bikini.

It’s either that, or drinking enough cocktails that it doesn’t feel so important anymore. We’re all sexy with a few mojitos under the belt.

Me roaring with pride on an overcast Korean beach.
Me roaring with pride on an overcast Korean beach.

#3 – The easiest way to get around and see everything too

Pete: I’ve done Paris twice now, once on Contiki in two days and the second time self-guided over five days.

You don’t have to be a genius to know which trip was more enjoyable, however on the self-guided trip there was a tonne more walking. We walked everywhere, and when we weren’t walking around sight-seeing we were walking around shopping. (heads up guys)

There are just some places you go and have to slow things right down, for me I couldn’t imagine doing Paris on a bike.

Just as I mentioned above with the bike, walking around day after day tends to catch up with you if you aren’t prepared.

Pete and his partner exploring Paris on foot.
Pete and his partner exploring Paris on foot and loving it!

Chris: I’ve actually written about why walking is both a brilliant budgetary measure and a perfect way to see a place in the past in Save Money, Walk! While I’m guilty of occasionally catching a sightseeing bus or flagging a cab, some of my favourite travel detours have been found while ambling about on foot.

#2 – Have your cake (or beer) and eat (or drink) it

Pete: As they say, when in Rome do as the Romans do. I say when in Paris do as the Parisians do!

It’s not all walking, riding and climbing.

There are the endless delightful culinary advantages that come with traveling, for Aussies and I would imagine many other people across the world travelling is about having a good time and what comes with good time is loads of eating and drinking.

4. Fitness Travelling Angelinas
EAT ALL OF THE CAKES!

Gaining 5 or 10+ kilos (10-20 pounds) is a generally accepted side effect of any trip longer than a month, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be this way.

The better shape you are in before you leave, the better your body will be able to handle the traveling lifestyle – food and all.

Chris: And he’s not even mentioning the all-important beer! You’d best believe I’ll be consuming plenty of that while in China. I’ve got to make up for a largely sober August through May!

I'm a man who loves a good beer (or ten).
I’m a man who loves a good beer (or ten).

#1 – Do More. See More.

Chris: This one seems particularly relevant to me as I spend my days editing and rewriting Shadows of Africa’s Kilimanjaro pages. In the process of researching and ‘selling’ the climbing experience, it’s risen greatly on my bucket list.

I’d love to be fit enough to someday tackle Mount Kilimanjaro.

Standing atop the highest point in China's Jiangsu province, Mount Huaguo.
Standing atop the highest point in China’s Jiangsu province, Mount Huaguo.

Pete: Getting into shape doesn’t necessarily mean rocking out a bikini body or a set of abs, getting in shape is relative to you.

No matter your body shape right now or the amount of time you have before you leave making a couple of small changes can be hugely rewarding.

In my next article I will talk more about “How to Get into Shape before Traveling” without sacrificing and restricting your life.

Before then why not sign up to my Free Fat Loss eCourse, full of realistic and practical tips to start improving your energy, health and body shape now. To learn more about this eCourse click here.

Pete conquering the Himalayas.
One of Pete’s clients one-ups me by conquering the Himalayas. Show off!

 

About the Guest Poster

Peter loves to travel, loves to eat and just like most people leads a busy life running his own business and taking care of his young family. Using his knowledge he keeps himself in shape using a small handful of hours a week for exercise whilst eating loads of healthy delicious food. He also teaches his clients the knowledge and strategies he uses so they can achieve their results. He is passionate about teaching people there is a middle ground where you can enjoy the pleasures of life and still keep in shape

You can like his Facebook Page for updates and tips here.

Your Say

Why do you think it’s important to get into shape before hitting the road?

 

Life and Love on the Road
Me roaring with pride on an overcast Korean beach.

Fatboy on the Road: Body Image & Travel

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Traveling with Body  Image Issues

I can still remember the first time somebody commented on my weight.

It was a sixth grade end of year pool party in Mudgee, and a group of guys had gathered around the snack table to feast on fairy bread and lollies between bouts in the pool.

“Hey Chris,” Josh Stewart said cheerfully, “You’re fat!”

He said it with genuine surprise. Having never seen me with my shirt off, he’d had no idea I had a bit of a belly developing. At this stage, it wasn’t much more than a bump, but it was a jarring thing to hear all the same.

As a kid, I’d been nicknamed ‘the scrawn’ due to my scrawny physique. I’d been a middle distance (800-1500m) runner who could circle his waist with his hands and touch fingers at the back.

'Skinny Chris' during the days when he did ballet. That went down well in school...
‘Skinny Chris’ during the days when he did ballet. That went down well in school…

At the time I found it funny.

“Skinny Chris!” they’d say when my shirt was down.

“Fat Chris!” they’d laugh when I lifted my shirt to flash my belly again.

“Skinny Chris! Fat Chris!”

It was all very innocuous, and I can’t say it had a huge impact on me beyond the fact I remember it.

It was my last night in Mudgee before moving north to chilly Ben Lomond, and the night is just as memorable for me because at one point during the night I got dunked by Nell Walters and, as if baptised, I emerged and realised I had a huge crush on her.

The next day, I’d move north and never see any of them again. Such is life.

Feeling Fat

I can’t recall when I started to think of myself as fat. There’s no specific memory that leaps out at me.

All I know is that at some point I began to be described as such, and that basically came to define me.

I was a confident, outspoken kid when I started year seven. I’d come from a school for gifted children where I’d been surrounded by like-minded friends, and the adjustment to a rural high school was a tough one for me.

I can’t place the blame squarely on all those who bullied me. For every ignorant yokel who took offense at my eccentricities, there was one who was justifiably upset by my condescending tone.

13 year old Chris at his brother's pirate themed birthday.
13 year old Chris at his brother’s pirate themed birthday.

Regardless of the cause, the bullying would drag on for four years. Despite a solid core of geeky friends and a supportive family, I slowly started to believe the things being said about me.

I was a loser. I was weird.
I was fat and ugly.

I went from being the kid in year seven who wore outrageous outfits to get attention to one who spent most of his lunchtimes in the library or in a classroom a teacher said we could play D&D in.

13 year old Chris would do this shit sober.
13 year old Chris would do this shit sober.

I started to be that kid who wore a shirt when he went swimming. I was horribly self-conscious about how much I’d sweat during PE classes or the way I wasn’t skinny and handsome like the popular kids.

It all seems like a juvenile thing to have worried about in hindsight. The world is never quite as shallow as it is in high school, but I didn’t know any better.

I didn’t date in high school. The sole girl I kissed was playing Truth or Dare in a drama class.

Barbs hurled to hurt don’t need to be cast from a stance of honesty. Even when weekends of soccer and lunch times of rugby league meant I’d lost weight, those with ill-intent knew the way to hurt my feelings.

They couldn’t make me doubt my intelligence or my creativity, but they sure as hell could make me doubt my physical appearance and worthiness for love.

Over the course of a few years, I wholly adopted the role I’d been cast in.

I accepted that I was ugly and fat and revolting.

Being the Fat Boy

I’d like to say that university in some way transformed me.

Despite Year 11 & 12 being infinitely better years for me, and in spite of the fact I’d lost a bunch of weight, I still wore that mantle of ‘fat boy’.

Even if people were no longer saying it, I still believed it.

A much tubbier Chris pretty much derived enjoyment from drinking, eating, and watching his team lose.
A much tubbier Chris pretty much derived enjoyment from drinking, eating, and watching his team lose.

I didn’t ask girls out even if I was assured of their interest by mutual friends. Surely they were mistaken. It was probably a prank.

I hated how I looked and felt on the dancefloor at the ‘Stro or the Newie.

And in a case of supreme hypocrisy, I hated the way bigger girls would ask me out. In fits of childish offense, I’d rail against the unfairness of it all.

“They think I’m in their league?” I’d complain to my friends, “Am I that ugly?”
In the futile selfishness of my tiny teenage mind, I didn’t comprehend that I was doing to these girls the same thing people had done to me.

And here’s where the damage done becomes twofold. I not only hated myself and how I looked, but I let that turn into self-pity and misanthropy. At the same time as I told myself how unworthy of love or happiness I was, I looked down upon the world that dare reject me.

Funny that I was outraged at them for not seeing my value when I saw so little of it myself.

This became self-fulfilling prophecy. Nobody finds self-pity or bitterness attractive, and so I remained alone.

The longer I was alone, the more I hated myself and the world. And so I became a snake eating its own tail.

Recent Years

I guess this is where I should tell an inspiring story about how I overcame this and learned to love myself for who I am.

Truth is, my issues persist to this day.

After college, I went through a worrying long stage where I’d binge eat to cheer myself up, and then immediately force myself to throw up all of the food I’d just eaten.

I won’t go so far as to say I was bulimic, as I don’t think it happened often enough or over a long enough period of time for it to count.

Other times, I’d punish myself with exercise. I’d binge eat and then force myself to ride until I could barely stand.

The only photo from perhaps the darkest part of my life body image wise. I dreaded leaving the house.
The only photo from perhaps the darkest part of my life body image wise. I dreaded leaving the house.

My weight or, more accurately, my perception of my weight has been with me for a long time now. Every time I think I’ve overcome my demons by exercising and losing weight or by teaching myself not to care about such things, something small will come up to bring me back down.

A student in China will say that I must “really like food to be so fat” or a Korean man would squeeze my man-boob as we posed together on the beach.

“You will be a very good boyfriend,” said my female students last year, “Because you’re fat, you will not cheat”.

I understood that in some cultures it was not considered rude to comment on a person’s weight, but when your self-respect was built upon such fragile foundations – it would take me right back to square one.

During my time in South Korea, I had a 'signature pose' as shown above. The reason? I hated how my chin(s) looked in photos.
During my time in South Korea, I had a ‘signature pose’ as shown above. The reason? I hated how my chin(s) looked in photos.

The Change

I’d be lying if I said it was as bad today as it once was. I couldn’t say whether it’s been achieving success in other areas, having supportive partners, or the shallow validation of one night stands with pretty girls – but the occasional comments on my weight generally bother me less.

Running has helped. My ex-girlfriend introduced me to it and coached me from somebody who got winded after 30 seconds to somebody who would have completed a half-marathon were it not for shin splints ruling him out for 6-8 weeks.

Triumphant after finishing the 2010 City 2 Surf in Sydney.
Triumphant after finishing the 2010 City 2 Surf in Sydney.

That being said, I’m still guilty of weekly bouts of self-loathing.

Of catching sight of myself in the mirror and deciding maybe I don’t need to go out to class today.
Of trying on a dozen shirts and tossing them on the floor like a frustrated child because all of them make me feel fat.
Of not asking somebody out because I’ve got an in-built system that tells me whether somebody is in my league, out of my league, or outside my interest.

The most telling ‘symptom’ of all this ties back in with my battle with the black dog: I drink a lot.

I don’t drink alone, but when I drink – I drink to get drunk. I drink because drunk Chris isn’t quite as worried about his weight or the way people look at him. Drunk Chris makes people laugh. Drunk Chris is the life of the party.

See? Drunk Chris isn't nearly as shy!
See? Drunk Chris isn’t nearly as shy!

Drunk Chris has the confidence to hit on girls where sober Chris would shyly sit in the corner and wait for them to notice him.

(They don’t)

Truthfully, people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m shy. I’ve become so good at getting drunk enough to hide it that people honestly believe me to be a confident and outgoing person.

They don’t see the way I analyse every social interaction for an insult or a mistake on my part.

They don’t feel the pangs of shame I get when I see a photo of myself where I’ve failed to suck my gut in or I’ve got pit stains.

They sure as hell don’t witness the 30-60 minutes of pre-outting stress and the battle that I have to have with myself every time I’m invited out. Do I go through the emotional and mental strain of being in public? Or do I lie, say I’m busy, and stay in?

I choose the latter far more often than I’d like.

Alcohol, of course, has a two-fold fallout that does me no favours:

  • I get a mad case of ‘the guilts’ every time I drink, and spend the next day basically out of commission as an anxious wreck;
  • It’s a whole lot of calories that I inevitably fail to burn off.

It’s no surprise that the booziest years of my life (2012-2014) also saw me go to a lifetime high of 112kg.

(Inexplicably, those two years were also my most romantically successful, so clearly my body image issues are just that – my body image issues).

I spent the first six months after getting home running and dieting myself back to where I started when I left for China.

The Plan

This all brings me to today. Or, more precisely, a few weeks ago.

My best friend’s brother, Pete got in touch with me about a potential partnership that we’d both benefit from. He’s otherwise known as Peter Brown – transformation specialist with Fisique looking to get his name out there, and I’m a guy whose fitness and weight aren’t where he’d like them to be.

It didn’t take long for us to work out a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Over the next four weeks he’s going to be working with me on a four week ‘pre travel regimen’ to get me fitter and leaner before China and Africa. He’s also going to be sharing a few guest posts here on both pre-travel fitness and staying fit while you’re on the road.

Me? I’ll be exercising, eating healthier, and keeping you appraised of my progress as I try to get myself into a place where I’m happier about the way I look and my general fitness.

Someday, maybe I'll look as good without a shirt as my brothers do.
Someday, maybe I’ll look as good without a shirt as my brothers do.

I don’t think I’ll ever be completely happy with how I look. That’s the nature of the beast, right?

I’ve come a long way from the self-loathing teen who didn’t think he had anything to offer the world, but there’s still room for improvement both physically and emotionally.

I’ve got Pete to help me with the former, and the latter is something I work on improving each and every day.

Wish me luck!

Your Say

How has your appearance or your own perception of your appearance affected you in your travels?