Top 15 Travel Blogging Crushes, 2011 Edition

I woke this morning to a strange stirring in my pants. I’m no stranger to the occasional morning glory – but this was something a little different. There was a certain prescience involving in this turgid twitching. Something had triggered it.

Some flirtatious text from a certain beautiful girl I’ve been talking to? A message on OK Cupid?

Much to my surprise, it was something much, much more personal. You see, Will Peach (of Gap Daemon, TravelSexLife, and My Spanish Adventure fame) had included me in an illustrious list of 10 Travel Bloggers I’d Go Gay For.

And this was not just some shopping list. It was a catalogue of homoerotic fantasy inspired by some of the most handsome, charismatic, and (ahem) well endowed travel bloggers out there.

Need a taste?

“The thought of a sweat-drenched, bearded, Aussie man lugging his hefty backpack on the road as he inches towards me? Phwoar. I think I just blew my load a little. However since Chris showed his more sensitive side, in his revelations over the black dog, I’ve suddenly begun seeing him a new light. Mainly as that of a little puppy dog that I could wantonly care for.”

I’ve had girlfriends who haven’t had such lovely (albeit wildly inappropriate) things to say about me. Marry me, Will?

Once my ego boner had subsided, I began to contemplate who might make my own list of lusty daydreams. Not being quite as secure in my heterosexualtiy as Will, I’ve instead decided to make my list a little more conventional.

No more beating about the bush (pun definitely intended) – here’s my Top 15 Travel Blogging Crushes.

And yes, I’m sure I’m going to get in trouble for objectifying women here, but I bet the angriest ones are the ones not on the list. It’s all in good fun girls.

(I should say that, having been raised to be a gentleman, I found it really hard to be so blatantly sexual and inappropriate below)

#15 – Lindsay Hogg (Traveller World Guide)

Two people eating a banana
No! Don’t use teeth!

What better way to kick off my list of travel crushes/secret lusts with the woman behind such sites as Traveller World Guide and the deliciously inappropriate Chicken Chunk? With those pretty green eyes and that sardonic grin, I definitely wouldn’t kick Lindsay out of bed for farting.

And I’d imagine she’s not above letting one rip between the sheets for comedic value.

I like my girls just a little saucy, and they don’t come much more sarcastic and devil may care than this delicious bit of Canadian crumpet.

#14 – Anthony Middleton (Man vs Clock)

Man sleeping on a tiger
Two of God’s most beautiful creatures sharing a little cuddle time

Even as a red blooded heterosexual male, I’m hard pressed not to find this juicy bit of Geordie beef-cake just a wee bit attractive. Our mutual man crush is the stuff of legend – a pair of balding, teetotalist travel bloggers with a penchant for pretty girls and self improvement.

He came in at #1 on Will’s list and is the only man on mine, so you can imagine what a steaming hunk this guy must be. Don’t let that accent fool you guys, this man is as smooth as James Bond with a heart of gold.

#13 – Nicole McGrath (Hola! Chica Travels)

three girls in bikinis
Phwoar! Nicole is the cutie on the left.

The lovely Latina from Miami breezed into this Aussie’s life late last year and took me on a few (entirely platonic) adventures including the Great Nomads Chase and some beach shenanigans in celebration of Chilean Independence Day. She later returned to my life for one last tantalizing encounter (see our Bite with a Blogger for details) before she fled to Melbourne.

One of the prettiest and sweetest girls I’ve had the pleasure of chatting with. Sadly, her blog is no more. It’s a shame, because she’s currently wrapping up a trip through freaking Antarctica!

#12 – Seattle Dredge (Seattle’s Travels) & Heather Carson (Ginger Nomads)

Beautiful redhead on a fence
The lovely Seattle cuts a hauntingly beautiful figure in this shot
Absolute sucker for redheads. Heather from Ginger Nomads looking all casual and such.

Maybe it’s because I’m just a little bit ginger myself, but I’ve always had a thing for red-heads. Hell, I lost my virginity to one.

An otherwise plain girl in high school could win my heart (or, at the very least, my lust) with a simple dye job. But these two fiery headed beauties are anything but plain.

The idea of rocking up to a club with these two fair skinned Goddesses on my arms isn’t exactly unappealing. There’s an entirely inappropriate joke about the carpet matching the drapes I could make, but I’ll be the bigger man.

#11 – Maria Alexandra Laborde (Latin Abroad)

girl on the beach
What a great view! The beach looks nice too…

With her wild hair and her saucy smile, Maria from Latin Abroad isn’t afraid to talk about the sexier side of travel. Her recent sex and travel bucket list raised more than just eyebrows, I’m sure.

A Puerto Riccan party animal with a kinky streak? That’s the kind of girl pre-sober Chris would have been all over!

#10 – Ashley & Diolis (Nomadik Nation)

nomadik nation
Ashlea (left) and Diolis (right). Foxy ladies.

Another double entry and you can’t help but wonder if the creators of Nomadik Nation (and it’s recent 10 sexiest bloggers list) wouldn’t be a package deal outside of the blogging world as well.

One can hope…

If I was absolutely forced to choose, I’d give Summer Heights High loving Diolis the edge – but don’t discount Ashlea. There’s just a hint of feistiness in her smile…

These two lovely ladies aren’t afraid to write about more controversial stuff and clearly have the…uh…assets to fill those Nomadik Nation t-shirts they’re always pimping. Definitely a pair of bloggers on the rise in both the blogosphere and this list.

And who knows? Maybe including them here will earn me some stroke for their next list?

#9 – Rebecca Enright (Backpacker Becki)

pretty blonde drinking
Oh, to be that cup…

A relative newcomer to blogging, fair haired Rebecca is a classic beauty whose English accent would be sure to win me over as surely as the countless Greenpeace and Heart Foundation workers who harass me on my way to work each day. What is it about the accent that raises my ardor so?

While our Twitter conversations haven’t quite reached ribald levels yet, I’m quietly hoping this well traveled Belle comes to realize that bald and ginger is the new handsome and buff.

EDIT: We’ve since hung out twice and Becki is every bit as lovely in person as she is photogenic. What a catch!

#8 – Abby Tegnelia (Jungle Princess)

jungle princess
Haaaaave you met Abby?

A Vegas girl with the looks of a showgirl, Abby from Jungle Princess has left behind the ho hum of day to day life to pursue things just a tad more exotic.

Working in the glitz and glamor of celebrity news, I daresay a few paparazzi shots of this bronzed beauty wouldn’t be unwelcome on the hard drives of my male readers.

I’ll be Tarzan and this jungle princess can be Jane.

#7 – Nellie Huang (Wild Junket)

girl in cowboy hat
Yippie kay ay

Hot damn! With that cowboy hat, Nellie of Wild Junket is a travel blogging icon and a pretty damn foxy looking lady as well. Whether she’s scuba diving in glaciers or rocking the beach, Nellie is bound to be setting hearts aflutter and pants a-tentin’ wherever she goes.

There’s some kind of pun to be made about wild junk, but my brain’s a bit fried. Invent your own and post it below.

#6 – Toni White (Reclaiming my Future)

british girl bikini
Who says the British are all pale and pasty? Not I!

Toni won me over when she talked about how often her breasts spilled out of her top while in Africa. I was dismayed when she was unable to provide photographic proof.

My back-up visa bride, this delightful bit of British biscuit is more than welcome in my fair country and my messy bed should she ever get her sweet ass out of dreary England. And she can bring that lingerie she keeps mentioning on Facebook along too…

#5 – Mica Ivealis (Kaypacha Travels)

Beautiful girl in the ocean
My new desktop pic. Rwar!

Aye aye aye! Super sexy Mica from Kaypacha Travels has seen the world but she’s never been to me. Don’t get the reference? It’s an awful song. I don’t blame you.

The photo above isn’t even the sauciest one out there. This is a girl who is more than confident that her banging bod is going to turn heads. When she’s not sunbathing naked on swinger’s cruises, Mica is trekking around the world with her boyfriend (the lucky son of a bitch) and enduring my drunken advances over Skype.

#4 – Alexandra Kovacova (Crazy Sexy Fun Traveller)

crazy sexy fun traveler
It’s no wonder her blog has such a following. What a stunner!

With a blog title that includes ‘Crazy’, ‘Sexy’, and ‘Fun’ in the title – you can just bet that this sultry Slovak would be an absolute handful in every department that matters.

She doesn’t quite hail from Russia with love, but you get the feeling that the exotic Alexandra would be right at home as a Bond femme fatale. This is one lovely lady with a license to thrill.

#3 – Nicole Blaess-Smith (Bitten by the Travel Bug)

bitten by the travel bug
Girl next door? It’s all an act

If you’re bored of bikini bods (although I can’t imagine why you would be), here’s a ridiculously cute girl-next-door type who you’d be more than happy to have climbing through your bedroom window.

And yes, that was a Dawson’s Creek reference. I’m so old.

The first travel blogger I had the pleasure of sharing a bite with, Nicole was also the first travel blogger I ever drunk dialed. I still think Bitten by an Aussie on the Road has a real ring to it, but damned if this fresher cutie isn’t resisting my advances.

#2 – Lauren Juliff (Neverending Footsteps)

girl in coconut bra
Excuse me for a moment. I just need to be alone with this photo.

Dave of What’s Dave Doing (or should that be Who’s Dave Doing?) is a lucky man, because this saucy British minx is his arm candy.

While she calls me ‘poppet’, deep down I know this coconut bra wearing Goddess veils her lust for me with good natured insults and the occasional retweet. After all, our forbidden love can never hope to be while she’s living the dream in Thailand and I’m tied to a desk in Australia.

One of the worst offenders when it comes to vaguely sexual post titles that don’t feature a single bit of sex. Cruel torturer!

#1 – Melissa Grace (The Mellyboo Project)

mellyboo project
Those come hither eyes… Hold me back!

The only girl I know who would be down with me using poutine in foreplay, the voluptuous and vivacious Mel is my visa fiancee and one of my bestest buds in the whole wide world.

I never did get to consummate my barely veiled lust with this chesty Canadian cutie, but we had entirely too many inappropriate conversations during her six month stint on Australian shores. I have no doubts that there’s a whole world of kink hidden behind those big beautiful eyes and that smattering of freckles.

Mel remains the only travel blogger I’ve kissed. Poor strike rate, I know it.

—————–

 

Have I left anybody out? Which travel bloggers butter your biscuit? Who should I be adding to my reading/masturbatory fantasy list?

 

 

Everybody is rapt by my story

My Ten Year High School Reunion

On the one hand, it’s hard to believe that it’s already been ten years since I graduated from high school. I can still summon up vivid recollections of my last days of school. The stress of exams; the heartbreak of unrequited love as I fawned over my then best friend; the parties where drinking Vodka Cruisers or Tia Maria were the best I could manage; and the prospect of a whole summer of lazing around stretched out ahead of me like it was an eternity.

And on the other hand, I look back and feels like it’s been an eternity since those days. Hell, it feels like a lifetime since I was living it up in South Korea.

But like it or not, the weekend of November 4th rolled around and it was time for my ten year high school reunion. I know some people dreaded theirs, but as the unwilling organizer of ours, I was quite excited about seeing my efforts come to fruition and catching up with everybody.

The Facebook age has made it effortless to keep in touch with people, but while I might have chatted with everyone at some point over the past ten years, it would a different thing entirely to play out old inside jokes in person.

The old crew couldn’t be reunited. A few of my best friends from school were busy with work or simply couldn’t afford the long trip back to our sleepy home town. Others still clung to old high school hates as if losing them might mean losing a small part of their youth. Absent were my best friend from school, one of my oldest school friends, the object of the aforementioned unrequited love, and those of our year who have moved abroad and couldn’t justify the flight back.

But with or without them, we were determined to forge ahead and have a good time.

I might not have had a beautiful girl on my arm or a string of best-selling novels at my back, but I’ve managed to dodge the twin bullets of marriage and kids, so I figured I was heading in about even.

The Long Ass Train Ride

The part of the whole weekend I wasn’t looking forward to was the ten hour train ride from Sydney up to Glen Innes. It’s a far cry from the superfast KTX on which I whizzed around South Korea, but I had my Kindle on hand and a full charge on my iPhone for tunes. I figured I’d be able to get in some sleep and a little reading along the way.

As luck and crazy fate would have it, our school captain just so happened to be on the same train as me. In the same carriage.

What had shaped up as a potentially dull ride instead became a big catch up session as we discussed the controversies and rumors; the attending and the non-attending; and the surprises that had unfolded over the intervening decade.

Like me, Erin’s been out living the travel dream. She’s worked at summer camp in the States and traveled extensively outside of that. It’s funny how, even with all of my own travels, I found myself just a little jealous of all of the adventures she’d had. The grass is always greener, eh?

 

Drinks at the RSL

I can’t recall the first time that eighteen year old Chris went to the RSL (Returned Serviceman’s League, but known to locals as the Services Club), although the place did act as my nightlife spot of choice during my year long stint in Glen Innes after college. That’s hardly high praise in a town where bars close at 1am and the average patron is either a hundred, a single mother, fresh from the farm, or fresh out of jail.

Still, as far as watering holes go, you can’t knock a place with $3 beers and decent live music. Not to mention cheap pool.

My younger brothers and I had a few sneaky beers en route and soon joined the motley crew of early arrivals. There were two of my old nerding buddies, the irrepressibly inappropriate rugby player, a few of the popular girls, and even a girl who had left in the sixth grade and still tagged along to join the fun.

One thing I was quite grateful for during the stressful and tumultuous final years of school was how close knit my class was. While my sister’s year (below mine) was full of cliques, mine somehow ended up as one big (relatively) happy family save a few who opted to stick to the fringes.

In my final year at school I played strip hacky sack with the jocks, rubbed ice on the chest of the hottest girl in school, played far too much D&D, won debate contests, kissed lesbians, had water fights, and got knocked out cold by the biggest guy in the school while attempting to tackle him on the football field. It was a wild, crazy, and fun year.

Almost enough to erase the first four years of near constant bullying >_>

A few quiet beers at the RSL and then Keysey (the inappropriate jock sex-pot) commandeered a bus and we were all off to the Refreshment Rooms.

The Ref Rooms (as it is known by locals) has transformed Glen Innes’s long unused railway station into quite a good bar. A live band rocked the room while smokers and those wanting a chat could sit out on the platform upon which people had once awaited the train to Sydney.

I busted out my trademark swing dancing moves with the year six returner and had a quality deep and meaningful with my brother to boot. I saw my old family doctor giggling to himself at the urinal and flirted aimlessly with attractive girls only to have my brother inform me they were both 18 and somebody’s mother.

The sobering reality of dating in a small country town. The single are either too young or they’ve already got kids at home.

The night ended as so many of my teenage nights ended – with the pilgrimage along the New England Highway towards the only 24 hour service station in town. In my high school years it was a short walk, but that station has long closed and now it’s a lengthy walk out to the outskirts of town for a Chiko Roll and a Vanilla Coke.

Thankfully, my old mate Erbsy had breezed into town late and swung by to pick us up and carry on the party. Unfortunately, by the time we’d collected food and walked all to the opposite end of town, the party had become three guys waiting around outside of a room while their mate had sex with the only female in attendance.

Good times.

 

Preparation

 

How I ended up as organizer of the reunion remains a mystery to me. I was not particularly organized in my school years and that’s not something that has improved over time.

I think alcohol has addled my brain.

But as the resident Facebook whore and somebody who was always pretty social, I became the organizer elect when the girl who’d initiated the push realized she wouldn’t be able to make it back from the UK.

My organizing basically entailed lots of delegation. The venue had been booked, I put Keysey in charge of arranging catering, and a group of girls had graciously offered to handle the decorations.

In the end my only real contribution – outside of creating a Facebook event and harassing people – was picking up some chips and dip and making sure the caterer was paid at night’s end.

The bar all decorated
Balloons and chips. We’ve got ourselves a stage 5 party here folks.
Our year book on display
Pages from our year book on display.

The venue had been chosen carefully – the only bar in town with a license to run until 2am. The New England Club opened their arms to the whole affair and let us have full run of the place. The girls had soon hung decorations and laid out snacks, and then came the realization that we were already prepared and already at a bar – and it was 3pm.

Drinks ensued.

We strolled around and read the ambitions listed underneath our pictures in the year-book. Some of us had turned out exactly as we’d hoped. Tim was a teacher and had his own greyhounds and several people had lived their travel ambitions.

Others had not. Rowland had not built a bomb to destroy humanity, I had not met and married my soulmate (oh God, did I write that!?), and I’m pretty sure Stevie did not manage to let ten years pass without every seeing her sister.

One by one classmates and their partners began to arrive. Somehow I’d already had four or five beers by the time people had arrived. Dayne, legend that he is, had put the word out that I was to be bought beers all night as payment for my organization. I didn’t complain.

A few of the early arrivals having a chat
Tim, Dayne, Rowland, and Murray are amongst the first on the scene.

I’ll admit that I didn’t enjoy things as much as I’d hoped at first. I was swept off my feet ensuring people’s meals had been paid for and that photos were being taken.

Cracking a little under pressure

Soon enough the place was packed and the beers were flowing. Old friendships were rekindled and people who might have run in slightly different circles in school struck up conversation. It was a lot of fun.

Everybody is rapt by my story
I weave a tragic tale and they eat up every word. Photo by Tim Clay.
The class clown up to his usual tricks
The dashingly handsome ‘Rolly’ still remains the class clown ten years on. Photo by Tim Clay.

 

Keysey regales everybody with a ribald tale
Keysey has everybody’s attention. He’s probably talking about sex. Photo by Tim Clay.
This same photo was taken ten years earlier at our graduation. I wish I had a copy.
This same photo was taken ten years earlier at our graduation. I wish I had a copy.

Soon enough it was time for dinner and then, when plates had been cleaned, the girls served up their home-made desserts and it was time to hand out the obligatory awards.

My friends Stuart and Laura snapped up cutest couple after finding love as the only two registered users of Plenty of Fish in our sleepy town. My friend Rowland, who has not changed at all, was the ironic winner of ‘Most Changed’. An award for most likely to be a serial killer picked up multiple winners. Pretty Clare’s recent arrival from Mexico landed her the person who had traveled the farthest, while Keysey (an employee of the venue) had traveled the least.

I even picked up a pair of awards. The not-so-cool Facebook Whore award and the much more prestigious Most Eligible Bachelor.

That’s right ladies, I’m single.

Rowland, Rolly, and Erbsy
Look! I’m one of the cool kids now!

I was presented with a bottle of Canadian Club as a thank you for my efforts and soon we were dancing and singing and drinking until the staff began to pack up chairs and make a show of how much they wanted us to leave without actually saying it.

Which leads us to…

 

The After Party

 

It wouldn’t be a high school party without an after party, and it fell to Keysey to arrange the affair. A hat was passed around and cash was stuffed into it. Cartons of various alcohols were purchased and cabs were booked. Guys discussed the hotness of formerly off-limits sisters of classmates in hushed tones.

To be honest, this portion of the night is a bit of a blur. There was a dog. There was some entirely too serious discussion of country music involving me. I told my first high school crush that I had liked her about a thousand times.

And at some point my friend Rowland, forever the designated driver, took my drunk ass home and I collapsed face down in my bed.

 

The School Tour

To say it was a sick and sorry bunch present at 11am the following morning at McDonalds (another new addition since our graduation). I gingerly poked at my cheeseburger as if it might attack me while the others set to their meals with a little more enthusiasm.

Once we’d all assembled our convoy headed up to the old stomping grounds where one of our former teachers had been kind enough to take time out of her Sunday to show us around. A lot had changed. New buildings had been built and old ones had been revamped. An elevator had been installed for the library and a new foreign language building had been erected.

But a lot was the same. My old favorite book was still where I’d left it in the library. My old seat – while seeming a lot smaller – was still much as I’d remembered it.

Nostalgia washed over me like an unwelcome breaker at Coogee Beach as I strolled those old grounds.

There was the place I’d had my first kiss in a game of Truth or Dare.

This was the stretch of grass where I’d played countless games of tackle football at lunch. There was where a much, much younger Chris had backed slowly away from the kid who pissed himself.

The water from the bubblers still tasted the same.

The stairs up to the performing arts building seemed much reduced.

Posing with my former favorite book as a teen
I sat on this corner every afternoon for six years waiting for my Mum to pick me up. I remember it being bigger…

There’s a whole other entry in the works about what the last ten years have been and how 18 year old Chris might have felt if he’d known what lay ahead of him.

I’d like to think he’d have been happy with a lot of it. The time abroad, the kisses stolen, the one night stands, and the beautiful women I’ve been lucky enough to have in my life. I’m sure he’d have been all about the parties and the crazy friendships and the wild nights.

But maybe he’d be unhappy that I hadn’t gone out and met that soulmate he’d seemed so eager on meeting. Maybe he’d be unhappy that I hadn’t sold a novel yet, or that I’d put on weight.

As I said, it’s something I’ll discuss a bit later. Suffice to say, it was both a fun and sobering experience to roam those old halls.

A particularly poignant moment was watching Erbsy, once the star of the school cricket team, stroll out to the now dusty and unused pitch and have a practice run up.

Were all of us looking back at those younger versions of ourselves and measuring the people we are today against the ambitions we’d laid out when the final bell had rung and it was time to move on?

Fin

The whole weekend was a lot of fun. It was exhausting, but it was fun.

I’ve got an entry to come about the emotions that a reunion conjures up as well as one full of the things I learned planning one. I daresay I’ll put them into practice if I’m called upon again in 2021 to organize the twenty year affair.

Have you got any reunion experiences to share?

Deliriously happy on Franz Josef Glacier

My Travel A to Z

What’s Going On?

It’s been a busy and exciting few weeks for me at Aussie on the Road. Not only have I produced a pair of sponsored posts and picked up an ad partner in the form of Getaway Lounge – but I’ve also got my first two guest posts coming out really soon. Keep your eyes on Gap Daemon for my piece on the concept of doing a Farewell Tour with somebody you have to love and leave.

There’s also my first piece going up for Glenfiddich Explorers – I run off my favorite nine beach bars in the world. Watch this space for a more detailed run-down of my picks as well.

My travel savings fund sits at over $500 now, which isn’t bad for a month that included paying to move my internet service and paying off bond on my new place in Sydney’s inner west. I might just make it to back to Fiji before winter next year.

Grant and I drinking kava in Fiji
Bula! I can already taste the muddy kava

 

My Travel A to Z

After my abysmal failure at completing the 30 Day Travel Challenge earlier this year, I’ve developed a bit of a reluctance to participate in the chain letter style things that occasionally do the rounds in travel blogging circles.

But the teenage kid who used to hang out on Quizbox.com for countless hours just can’t resist the urge to answer questions. Especially when they’re about two of my favorite topics: travel and me.

I got the nod from Raymond over at Man on the Lam and with nothing better to do while I sit on hold with one of my colleagues, I thought I’d give it a crack.

A: Age you made your first international trip

I was an embarassingly late bloomer on this front. I didn’t board my first plane until an overcast November afternoon in 2007. At the ripe old age of 23 I was off on my first overseas trip and I was doing it for a year in a country in which I didn’t speak a word of the language or know a soul.

It was a terrifying and heart-breaking experience to move away from my comfort zone and my fantastic family, but it changed my life. Best decision I ever made.

 

B: Best (foreign) beer you’ve had and where

I’d like to say I tried some remarkable Korean beers (they don’t exist) or that I fell in love with something like Fijian Vonu – but the best beers I found were some of the microbrews I sampled during my brewery tour in Portland, Oregon. I can’t split the brilliant beers I sampled at Rogue or Widmer breweries, and I think I’ll always have more than a soft spot for the humble Bud Lite as well.

Honorable mention goes to some of the Aussie microbrews I’ve tried. The 4 Pines Kolsch is remarkable but doesn’t quite qualify as foreign, even if I do have to ride a boat to drink it.

Beers at the Laurelwood in Portland, Oregon
A sampling of the Laurelwood's best beers in Portland

C: Cuisine (Favorite)

If I could nominate places I’ve fallen in love with the food of but haven’t been to, it would be a dead heat between fragrant Thai and authentic Mexican. But since I’ve never set foot in either of these bucket list worthy destinations, the honor really does have to go to Korea.

Say what you will about the lack of seasoning in their seafood or the reliance on the wet dog smelling kimchi, but in my eyes you can’t beat a communal galbi meal or a good serve of spicy ddeok galbi. I miss my post drinks twigim (deep fried everything) and my visits to Paris Baguette for too-sweet interpretations on Western breads and pastroes.

Mashisayo!

D: Destinations. Favorite. Least Favorite. Why.

My favorite destination so far would have to have been New Zealand. I’m sure Amanda from A Dangerous Business can relate 100% to my love for the shaky isle. I don’t think there’s a place on earth with more natural beauty and more remarkable contrasts. Franz Josef and Milford Sound alone were mind-blowing.

I haven’t had a least favorite yet. I really can’t say that any one overseas trip has been bad or underwhelming in any way. I’ve been lucky.

E: Event you experienced that made you say ‘Wow’

Aside from being overawed at the awareness that I was standing on another continent when I first stepped out of Incheon International Airport and into the icy air?

I was nerdishly excited when I got the chance to stand out front of the Goonies house in Astoria, Oregon in 2009. Having been brought up on what I still believe to be one of the best kids movies of all time, it gave me more than a little bit of a fuzzy feeling.

Standing by the Goonies sign
Quietly nerding out at the Goonies house in Astoria

Points also go to standing on top of Franz Josef Glacier last year; scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef and realizing it wasn’t at all terrifying; and first kisses had with girls I’d never have met if I hadn’t taken the plunge and stepped out of my comfort zone.

F: Favorite mode of transportation

It’s got to be the big jet plane.

Everytime I hear the engine pick up and feel that first surge as we jet along the runway I feel my heart skip a beat. It only gets better as there’s that moment of almost weightlessness as wheels leave tarmac and we’re en route to a new adventure. Whether it’s been jetting off to a new country, returning home after a long time abroad, or just heading someplace for a few days away: I’ve never had a journey start with a plane ride that hasn’t been a whole lot of fun.

When I’m not flying? I’m a big fan of the humble walk. You see so much more and it’s healthy. Can’t knock that.

G: Greatest feeling while traveling

I almost went with Raymond’s comment about not knowing what’s coming yet. There is undoubtedly something freeing about having no idea what comes next.

But I’m going to be cheesy and stick with the hopeless romantic motif that seems to pervade this blog and say it’s the thrill of meeting a kindred spirit a thousand miles from home. I’ve known (in the Biblical sense even) some wonderful and beautiful girls while on the road, but I’ve also made some friends who have persevered well beyond our time together.

I’ve had relative strangers hold my hand and pray with me in the street when I was having a rough night. I’ve plucked up the courage to flirt with pretty girls and friends run interference on rival suitors for me.

I’ve been wired money, had an old high school friend travel across the entire Korean peninsula to be with me for my first birthday away from home, had friends take me to flower shows to cheer me up, and had more drunken deep and meaningfuls than I care to remember.

To say that I’ve been blessed with a remarkable run of luck with meeting people – friends, lovers, well wishers, and drinking buddies – is an understatement. It’s the facet of travel I miss  most while I’m penned up at home.

Handsome men in suits
Myself, Brad, and Jamie - the three amigos. Best wingmen ever.

H: Hottest place I’ve traveled to

While Phoenix, Arizona was definitely not cool and Gwangju in South Korea summoned up some God awful humidity in my two summers there – it really wouldn’t be fair to go past my experiencing living and traveling around the New South Wales outback as a kid.

While it wasn’t technically travel as I do it now, I spent a total of two years living and traveling around the scorching red centre. When I was seven and eight I lived in Tibooburra in the far north western corner of the state and experienced the surreal experience of getting horrendous burns on my feet while running between my house and the school barefoot.

There was a real beauty to the way the heat shimmered off the red earth and the almost complete lack of trees. Watching flocks of emu run about and waking up to a pair of kangaroos rifling through the tangle of near dead weeds that passes as a garden. It was a wonderful experience and one I’d love to sample again now that I’m old enough to appreciate it.

I: Incredible service you’ve experienced and where

Korea has a really interesting service culture. While there’s definitely an undercurrent of xenophobia that means you’ll sometimes be treated like a second class citizen for daring to step foot in a restaurant or store – the country has this wonderful obsession with ‘service’. This can come in the form of a free can of green tea with your purchase at a 7-11 or the abundance of free snacks and side dishes served up in bars and restaurants.

The best I’ve experienced?

It was a stinking hot summer afternoon and I was fresh back from a visit to a thoroughly underwhelming Korean ‘beach’ that seemed more open sewer than beach. The sky overhead was ominously dark and the rumbling of thunder didn’t give me enough warning, and a torrential summer downpour caught me a few blocks from my apartment.

I ducked inside the local Paris Baguette where I shivered and gratefully accepted a free cup of tea. Seeing that I was drenched, the elderly woman who owned the shop ducked into the back and returned with an umbrella. She gestured for me to take it and explained using her limited English that I could return it tomorrow.

It was a simple thing, but it was greatly appreciated.

J: Journey that took you the longest

My flight from South Korea to the United States in 2009. Not only was it a grueling 24+ hours including stopovers, but it also felt like forever because I was excited about seeing my then-girlfriend for the first time in two weeks. That trip just wouldn’t end!

K: Keepsake from your travels

Despite being something of  a hoarder in my younger years, living out of a suitcase and knowing you could only take that one suitcase with you when returned home has meant I’ve had to be a bit more ruthless. I’ve managed to take back a few love letters and photos from my times abroad, that’s been about the extent of it.

L: Let down sight. Why and where?

I guess I was a little underwhelmed by the Grand Canyon after I spent a bit of time there, the feeling I felt when I first saw it was enough to say it wasn’t a let down.

I’m a guy who is very easily pleased. I used to tell girls that I was ‘easy’ when they’d ask what I wanted for dinner or where I wanted to go this coming weekend, and that holds true when I travel. I’m happy as long I am on the road and with good people. I don’t do disappointed.

M: Moment where you fell in love with travel

I think the first time I stopped, looked at my life, and went ‘Wow, I’m a lucky guy’ was at the Boryeong Mud Festival in 2008. I had just gone through my first adult break-up and definitely dwelt on it to an almost emo level, but as I stood out in the Yellow Sea with fireworks bursting overhead and dozens of newly made friends in the water around me or back on the shore, I realized I was living the dream.

I haven’t looked back since.

Mud festival fun
Couples doing battle at the Mud Festival

N: Nicest hotel you’ve stayed in

I’m tempted to give further props to Lazy Paddles, but comfortable doesn’t really equate to nice.

The nicest hotel I’ve ever been in would probably be the Golden Nugget in Las Vegas. It wasn’t particularly orante, but it had a freaking waterslide through a mother-freaking shark tank! That’s awesome!

Plus it had a pretty sweet pool, a big comfortable bed, and gave us free beer while we gambled ten cents at a time on the video poker screens.

I’m not really a lap of luxury kind of guy, obviously.

O: Obsession. What are you obsessed with taking pictures of while traveling?

I’ve noticed that I can’t resist taking a shot of a road, path, or bridge centered in the shot. I’ll include a few examples below just so you can experience the full width and breadth of my depravity.

The diving board out over Hayden Lake
Kinda reminds me of Stephen King
The bridge out to the fishing island off Bigeumdo
The bridge out to the fishing island off Bigeumdo. Also spooky.

P: Passport stamps. How many and from where?

I feel like I just came up short in a dick measuring contest with Raymond. Four passports and over forty countries? Way to make a guy feel inadequate!

I’ve been to a paltry seven countries outside of Australia and New Zealand didn’t even have the decency to stamp my passport on account of me being an Aussie. There are a trio of Korean E-2 visas and one shiny looking Chinese tourism visa as well.

But I have a great personality girls, honest!

Q: Quirkiest attraction you’ve visited and where.

This has hands down got to be Love Land in South Korea. I won’t rattle off details here. Go read about it in my entry about Hot Sexy Sex in South Korea.

R: Recommended sight, event, or experience.

As I said earlier, I’m a man who is easily pleased. I find it hard not to recommend something I’ve done because chances are I enjoyed it.

If I absolutely had to nominate one, it would be the full day climb on Franz Josef Glacier. The temptation might be there to wimp out for a half-day but trust me – a day on the glacier still isn’t enough time.

Deliriously happy on Franz Josef Glacier
Deliriously happy on Franz Josef Glacier

Points also go to the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb, black-water rafting in Waitomo, and zorbing in Rotorua.

Jumping for joy after my first Zorb experience
Jumping for joy after my first Zorb experience

S: Splurge. Something you have no problem forking over for while traveling.

The occasional good meal. I still haven’t full recovered from my epic binge at Hard Rock Cafe in Port Denerau, Fiji.

T: Touristy thing you’ve done

Spending a day wandering around Dream World and snapping photos like an over-eager Japanese day tripper. I drew a lot of odd looks from locals who couldn’t figure out why an Aussie guy was so excited in his picture taking.

Wandering around the Grand Canyon snapping photos was pretty touristy too.

U: Unforgettable travel memory

All of them! I have a bit of a steel trap memory for experiences. I couldn’t say which stood out the most. This whole site is a monument to them.

V: Visas. How many of them and for where.

I accidentally answered this earlier. Three Korean E-2 visas and a Chinese tourist visa.

W: Wine, best glass while traveling and where.

You know, I honestly don’t think I let a single glass of wine pass my lips while I was out on the road.

While the old cask of goon was a staple in my University diet and I’ve indulged a wee bit more in my time back in Australia, I think the only good wine tasing experience I’ve had has been over-indulging on wine at the Sydney Good Food & Wine Festival.

I couldn’t tell you what it was called, but my hangover the next day would seem to indicate that I liked it.

X: eXcellent view and from where

Sneaky sneaky. I was wondering how you’d cover ‘X’.

The Grand Canyon was pretty stunning, but I can’t go past Milford Sound. It wasn’t necessarily a traditional ‘from on high’ view – but look at the evidence! How can you not be blown away by that?

 

Milford Sound
Beautiful. Milford Sound looks ok too, I guess.

Y: Years spent traveling

Not nearly enough. Raymond got that right.

I’ve been traveling on and off for four years now, but only about two and a half of those have been spent continually out on the road.

I really need to fix that.

Z: Zealous sports fans and where

Coming from a nation of zealous sports fans, I’d have to give the tip of the hat to the South Koreans and their passionate love of the South Korean national football team.

It’s matched only by their love of whichever team is playing Japan.

 

You Got Tagged

 

I want you!

Since Raymond has gone ahead and tagged Mica from Kaypacha Travels, I’ll throw out five different names.

Have at it kids!

Review: Lazy Paddles

I like to think that the hallmark of a truly great hostel or backpackers is the feeling of being at home. Whether you’re fresh back from a night of drunken clubbing or stumbling in after a hard day’s hiking, the place where you hang your hat should – as the song says – make you feel like you’re coming home.

During my recent trip to picturesque Tea Gardens on the NSW coast, I had the pleasure of staying in the aptly named Lazy Paddles and couldn’t have felt much more at home.

Well, I could have walked around in my underpants, but I think Mel and Anne would have been hard pressed to keep their hands off of me.

 

Annie reading Larry's photography book
Annie makes herself at home in short order by cozying up with a copy of Larry's book of photography

Vibe

Lazy Paddles places the emphasis squarely on the first word in its name. The place has a great laid back vibe that is more akin to a beach-house than a backpacker hostel.

A lot of that comes to the size: the hostel is equipped to sleep ten people divided between two bedrooms. You’re not going to be fighting with a dozen German backpackers for the sole free shower, nor will you need to contend with a long line to get to the fridge.

But the owner has a lot to do with it as well. Larry is a man who has been around the world and he’s figured that the place he likes most is where he started. You’ve got to admire that.

Larry's photography on display in the lounge room
The comfy lounge room showcases Larry's fantastic travel photography

When we arrived he was on the front porch chatting with neighbors, but he was quick to stroll over and shake our hands before giving us the tour. Over the course of the weekend he was always open for a quick chat, and even brought us out a big bowl of gummi bears while we watched the rugby in the living room on our final night in the hostel.

Larry lives on site and that definitely adds to the experience. You’re not the guest of some faceless corporation – you’re staying with a local guy who clearly loves the area. It’s a big plus.

There’s something to be loved about lounging around on the couches watching the TV while leafing through some of Larry’s personal library. You feel almost like a local as you’ve got your feet up on the porch and you’re sipping an ice cold beer over fish and chips from the store located next door.

Hands down the best vibe I’ve found in a hostel.

Rating: 9/10

 

Relaxing on the front porch of Lazy Paddles
The first beer of many on our Saturday night in Tea Gardens

Location

Tea Gardens isn’t a bustling city, but Lazy Paddles manages to be right in the heart of things. You’re at the river as soon as you cross the road, so it isn’t hard to rush out when somebody excitedly cries out that they’ve spotted dolphins putting on a show.

Next door is a great fish and chip shop, and there’s a candy and ice cream store a few doors down. The Tea Gardens Pub and bottle shop are on the next block and it’s a short walk to bakeries, cafes, and other amenities both in Tea Gardens and in its sister town of Hawk’s Nest.

Rating: 10/10

 

The Lazy Paddles kitchen
The Lazy Paddles kitchen - complete with honor system style vending machine

Amenities

Lazy Paddles doesn’t have all of the bells and whistles you’d get in a bigger, more popular hostel. The bedrooms offer basic bunk beds and a few power points. The bathrooms are single stall ones like you’d find in most houses. The kitchen has a single fridge and a single oven.

But when the place only sleeps ten people, you don’t really need much more than that.

There’s no internet available, but there’s a decent library of books and board games in the living room. A big bonus is that Larry loans out bikes for free to all guests, and kayak hire and kayak tours are offered at a much reduced rate as well.

A nice touch is the poppers, soda, and chocolate in the fridge. It’s all available on the honor system and was much appreciated when I stumbled home drunk on the Saturday night in dire need of hydration of a non alcoholic nature.

Rating: 7.5/10

Some tourists heading out for kayaking
Larry leaves us to our own devices while he leads a group of tourists on a kayaking tour

Staff

This is an easy one. As far as I can tell, Larry is the only staff on hand. He’s owner, receptionist, tour guide, and all around helpful guy. Hard to fault that.

The drawback is that if he’s busy with other customers – such as tourists wanting a kayak tour – the place is unattended save for his girlfriend. It was this that stopped us from borrowing bikes while we were there.

Rating: 7/10

 

Playing Scrabble on a lazy Sunday afternoon
Playing Scrabble on a lazy Sunday afternoon

Fun

I had a lot of fun at Lazy Paddles, but that mostly came down to the company. You’re not going to find wild raves or myriad activities to participate in, but if you’re checking into a ten bed hostel in sleepy Tea Gardens expecting that – you might be a crazy person.

As mentioned earlier, there are free bikes for those wanting to explore as well as kayaks for hire and guided kayak tours of the nearby river system.

The Tea Gardens Pub is your only option as far as nightlife goes and it’s a typical country pub: lots of characters, cheap prices, and a disheartening lack of local ‘talent’.

There’s a TV in the lounge room as well as plenty of books. Larry’s collection of amazing photos occupied my attention for a while – particularly the saucy, artful nudes near my room…

We also got good play out of the battered copy of Scrabble available. I totally dominated, just quietly.

Rating: 7/10

 

Value

Hostels don’t come much cheaper than Lazy Paddles. At $27 a night (or $25 a night for stays longer than two nights or $29 a night during peak season), you’re paying next to nothing for your stay. Couple that with the cheap local watering hole, the variety of cafes nearby, and the free bike hire or reduced price kayak hire and you’ve got yourself a pretty good budget weekend.

Rating: 10/10

 

Overall

In case I haven’t made it clear, I loved Lazy Paddles. I know the rest of my group did as well.

Our situation was undoubtedly helped by being the only guests on site during our two night stay, but I can’t imagine having a few others there would have done anything to lessen our enjoyment.

Whether we were sprawled out on the couch, taking our sweet ass time in the showers, or just drinking on the front porch – I don’t think I ever felt anything less than 100% welcome. It’s a nice feeling.

Overall Rating: 9/10

 

You can read more about Lazy Paddles at the website. Don’t let the basic nature of the site fool you. It almost got me, and I’m glad it didn’t.

Oh, and did I mention it’s just a short drive from this little slice of paradise?

Hard to imagine a much more beautiful sight...
the buzzsaw at dreamworld

A Day at Dreamworld

Australia and Theme Parks

Australia doesn’t really do theme parks. At least not to the level that the United States and Asia do. The American preoccupation with bigger and better roller-coasters is one of the few American fascinations that hasn’t made its way across to Australia and become embedded in the Aussie mindset.

But that’s not to say Australia is a land without theme parks. The tourist mecca that is the Gold Coast boasts three theme parks and a pair of pretty awesome water parks – Dreamworld, Movie World, Sea World, Wet ‘n Wild, and WhiteWater World.

During my recent Queensland tour I took the opportunity to revisit Dreamworld: the park I remember visiting with my family when I was a much younger, less well traveled kid. Below you’ll find plenty of photos from my day at Dreamworld. Rea don.

 

Arriving

I departed Surfer’s Paradise at around 7am. I’d spent the night at the home of my friend Mark and his wife Sheree and wanted to get to Dreamworld early enough to capitalize on their early opening so I didn’t spend my day queuing for thrill rides.

Mark and Sheree’s adorable son Will had woken me at 5am and I struggled to keep my eyes open on the twenty minute trip out to the theme park.

When we did arrive, I was struck by how quiet it was. An overcast Monday seemed to have been the perfect choice for my visit to Dreamworld. I walked straight up to the ticket booth, forked out an extra $10 for the early entry, and strolled into an eerily quiet theme park.

My first port of call was Dreamworld’s newest thrill-ride, the Buzzsaw.

the buzzsaw at dreamworld
A view up from the ground at the Buzzsaw

 

It was pretty damn awesome getting to stroll straight up, walk through a gate, and settle down in the very front of the ride. I was joined by a single other rider and we were off.

The ride itself is short and intense and very cool. The shape of the track is basically a grossly misshapen circle or oval and you go both forwards and backwards with plenty of twists and upside down time. I enjoyed it so much that it was both my first and last ride of the day.

From there it was time to hit as many of the other thrill rides as I could before the park officially opened at 10am.

I quickly hit the Claw, the new Shockwave, the infamous Tower of Terror II, and the park’s oldest rollercoaster – the Cyclone.

As a kid I rode the Cyclone took my roller coaster virginity and, unlike my real virginity, I had my mother on hand to ensure I didn’t cry too much afterwards.

Not that I cried after I lost my virginity. Shit. Forget I said anything.

NB: Actually upon further research it would seem that the now closed Thunderbolt was my first roller coaster. It closed in 2003 and was replaced by the Cyclone, which had been purchased from Sydney’s Luna Park.

The Claw flies high at Dreamworld
My favorite ride at Dreamworld is, without a doubt, The Claw

The Claw is so good that I rode it four times during the day – including back to back rides in the afternoon. A Gyro Swing boasting speeds of up to 75km per hour and a 240 degree rotation – the ride lasts longer than some of the coasters and is plenty scary when you’re staring straight down at the ground and preparing for another dive.

Tower of Terror
The view from the park entrance up at the Tower of Terror/Giant Drop

The Tower of Terror II was my next port of call. Ranked as the third tallest and fourth fastest rollercoaster ride in the world, the Tower fires you out of a tunnel backwards and up the massive Dreamworld Tower. A few seconds of hang time and then you’re plummeting face first down what equates to a 30+ story building and pulling 4.5 Gs in the process. It’s a rush.

Despite being probably the best coaster in Australia, it ranks a paltry 191 in the world on the Mitch Hawkins poll. Sorry state of affairs.

The Cyclone is Dream World's original coaster
The Cyclone is Dream World's original coaster

I faced my first real wait while attempting to board the Cyclone – Dreamworld’s oldest rollercoaster. You see, the ride won’t run with less than 24 people and damned if we could find 24 people at the same time. About twenty minutes passed before we got underway.

The Cyclone will forever be my first, but like all firsts, you look back and realize maybe it wasn’t that good. It’s got a steep drop, a loop, and a corkscrew in there – but it’s pretty pedestrian as far as roller coaster’s go.

10am

It was 10am and I’d already managed to ride four of the park’sBig Six thrill rides. Only the Giant Drop and the Mick Doohan Moto-coaster had evaded me as the park began to fill up.

Cute little candy store at Dreamworld
All of Dreamworld's downtown storefronts are similarly garishly covered and cute

With a rumbling stomach to contend with though, I decided to slow things down a little and pay a visit to the quaint ‘downtown’ area of the park. A breakfast of Boost juice and some delicious fudge put me in much higher spirits as the tourists began to flood in and the queues for rides began to develop.

I began my more leisurely (and thorough) exploration of the park with a stroll through the newly redeveloped Gold Rush area of the park. Home to the Buzzsaw and sporting a very cool colonial feel, there are numerous cute attractions to check out including old time photos and a few of the more family friendly rides.

As a kid growing up the Rocky Hollow Log Ride and the Thunder River Rapids Ride were the closest I came to knowing theme park terror. I quickly joined the queue for the latter.

Like all river rapid rides, the Thunder River takes you spinning and dipping through a relatively tame rapids course that features a few dark caves and a few dusty old dinosaurs. I could have swor these moved and lit up as a kid, but no such movement on the day’s ride. Instead I contented myself with laughing at the excited Chinese tourists I was sharing a boat with. They even begged me to pose for a photo with them at ride’s end.

Thunder River Rapids Ride at Dreamworld
People preparing to get wet on the Thunder River Rapids Ride

A little wet and already in the vicinity, I decided to just hit all of the water rides in one go and tackle the Rocky Hollow ride. This used to scare my poor father half to death and I’m glad I don’t share his fear of heights.

It was around this time that I realized that visiting a theme park alone isn’t quite as much fun as visiting one with company. I said maybe five words all day and missed having somebody about to chat with to pass the time in a line.

No use crying over spilled milk though. Instead I let myself get drenched with a single mother and her wide eyed child.

Diving down on the Rocky Hollow Log Ride
Diving down on the Rocky Hollow Log Ride

The ride is a fairly serene drift along before being taken up into a large ‘shed’ and dropped down the steep incline where the water splashes you. Delight ensues. You’ve all ridden a log flume before.

As I left Gold Rush I bid a fond farewell to what had once been my favorite Dreamworld ride, a wild-mouse style coaster known as the Eureka Mountain Mine Ride. A helpful Dreamworld employee who shall remain nameless advised me it closed due to asbestos. I am sad.

eureka mountain mide ride
The formerly awesome Eureka Mountain Mine Ride rocked my nine year old world

Lunch with Tigers

 

Aside from having Australia’s biggest selection of rides and (arguably) its best rides, Dream World is also home to the very cool Tiger Island. Home to six Bengal tigers and six Sumatran tigers, Tiger Island features twice daily shows with the beautiful big cats – but at least one or two of them are prowling around the large open air exhibit most of the day.

With a show approaching, I settled down at a nearby cafe and ordered a (typically over-priced) theme park sandwich and settled in to see some of my most beloved animals up close.

The show, lasting about half an hour, featured three Bengal tigers performing various behavioral tricks such as standing on their hind legs, climbing trees, and jumping ridiculously high in pursuit of cuts of meat.

It’s truly amazing (and just a little terrifying) to realize just how easily a tiger could hunt you down.

Maybe I was overtired and emotional as a result, but I even got a little misty eyed when the show finished and we were told of just how tenuous the tiger species’ grip on the planet is. I happily shelled out $10 in change to help the cause.

A Bengal tiger relaxing before the show
A Bengal tiger relaxing before the show
A tiger stands at only a portion of its height
The tigers standing for milk. They get taller.
Much taller...
Beautiful Bengal tiger
'Ain't he beautiful?
When a Bengal meets a Sumatran in the swimming pool. Adorable.

Wrapping Up

As the afternoon grew dimmer and it grew nearer to the time I’d need to meet up with my friend Temissa at Movie World for Fright Night, I snuck a few more rides in and took some time to explore the Australian Wildlife Experience. I don’t get quite as excited about kangaroos and emu as others, so I didn’t snap many photos.

I revisted a few old favorites, rode the quite enjoyable Mick Doohan Moto-coaster, and then it was time to head off.

Posing with Kenny and Belinda, the Dreamworld mascots
The Mick Doohan Motocoaster lets you ride like you were in the Moto GP

 

Old style Model T Ford ride. Loved it as a kid.

 

All told a day in Dreamworld is a lot of fun – although I’d imagine it would have been much more fun had I had some company along for the ride.

You don’t come to Australia to ride roller coasters or even to see tigers, but that doesn’t mean a visit to the Gold Coast shouldn’t include a day exploring Dreamworld. There’s a distinctively Aussie flavor to the whole affair and there is plenty to keep the kids occupied – including a large Wiggles World dedicated exclusively to the little ones.

The Wildlife Experience gives plenty of opportunities to get up close and personal with native fauna – including feeding kangaroos and holding the iconic koala. This is only possible in QLD.

I had a blast and look forward to heading back again with somebody to act as photographer and queue buddy. And if the weather is sunnier, I’m itching to explore neighboring WhiteWater World and try out a few slides.

The Flowrider guards the entry to WhiteWater World.

 

Dreamworld is on the Gold Coast and is easily accessible by bus from Surfer’s Paradise. Tickets for the park are $49.99 for children and $79.99 for adults – with an extra $10 for early entry and access to the thrill rides before the place gets crowded.

Dreamworld also offers a partner deal with its sister park, WhiteWater World.