G'day! I'm Chris. I left my home in rural Australia back in 2007 to pursue a life less ordinary.
I specialize in ambitious travel - bucket list worthy journeys such as the Great US Road Trip, the ultimate African safari, and following the length of the Silk Road.
Here comes my first post as an Australian resident since early 2012. Hard to believe how much I’ve seen and done in the almost thirty months I’ve been away. I’ve fallen into and out of love, taught in three cities in China, visited seven countries, and checked off a whole swathe of bucket list items.
Farewelling Nanjing was not easy, and the week of frantic packing, preparing, and farewelling that followed. My pie in the sky daydreams of sleeping in, playing video games, and churning out posts for Aussie on the Road were dashed by last minute preparations and, more pleasantly, dinners and lunches with people who were eager to see me before I left.
Good times with dear friends at my farewell in Nanjing. Photo by Rosemary Doyle.
Like leaving South Korea, leaving China felt like laying to rest the person I had become in my time there. I bade farewell to Chris the party planner and Chris the guy girls could swing dance with. I put Chris the ‘expert’ on western food in Nanjing on the shelf, and packed the souvenirs and photos I have as proof of my passage into a bag knowing that I’ll never be those things again.
It’s a sad process, but one I’ve done before and I know I’ll do again. Part of what makes this expat lifestyle I lead so addictive is knowing that I get to start again each time I move someplace new.
I’m refining the person I am country by country. Maybe (and I know this is the black dog speaking) one day I’ll even like the person I am.
The Journey
My last hours in China were spent in Shanghai – the city I’d go to when I wanted to feel like I wasn’t in China anymore. I spent my time either chilling out in the hotel I’d splashed out on or having farewell dinner and drinks with a few friends who call the city home .
After two and a half years of avoiding Chinese food as often as possible, I had a delicious Yunnan feast as my final meal in China. If I’d lived in Dali or Kunming, I’m sure I’d have had an entirely different opinion of Chinese cuisine.
A feast of Yunnan dishes including lotus roots, fried goat cheese, buckwheat pancakes, and spicy cauliflower.
Of course, it wouldn’t have been China without one final bit of frustration. I loved a lot about my time in the country, but there was always this residual desire to occasionally drop to the ground, throw my arms out Platoon style, and shout ‘Fuck you, China’.
Finding my already late 1.30am flight delayed until 3am was a fitting farewell from a country that has both frustrated and fascinated me. A whiled away my last hours in China texting well-wishers and watching pro wrestling huddled over my laptop in the ghost town that is Pudong Airport after midnight.
I flew home with AirAsia, and that’s an experience I’ll comment on in a future entry. It was… interesting.
Coming Home
Touching down in Sydney was a surreal feeling. While I did come home briefly in 2013 for a recharge and a family vacation in Queensland; I attacked that trip with the knowledge that it was a temporary reprieve from my life in China.
Shuffling bleary eyed from my plane and through immigration – I found myself hit with the enormity of my present situation:
For the first time in almost three years I am unemployed and without any real plan for what comes next. I am without the support network I’d built in China or the places that had made the place feel like ‘home’. As excited as I had been to leave China, I felt the vastness of the unknown wash over me as I handed over my passport.
The immigration officer not only chatted with me about China, but we shared a moment of fond reminiscence about running around Xuanwu Lake in Nanjing. It’s rare to meet somebody who has heard of China’s former southern capital, so to chat about my favourite part of the city was strange.
Once through customs and with my baggage finally, blessedly dumped onto a cart – I took some time to get my phone set up. In another case of kismet, the girl selling me my new SIM is planning to go to Shanghai in 2015 to study. Even after I’d left, China was touching my life.
I wasn’t sure whether I should be smiling or crying as I stood in the Arrivals Lounge and contemplated the past spread out behind me and the future – shrouded in mystery as it is – sprawled out in front of me as a blank canvas. It felt at once both terrifying and amazing.
Soon, my airport limousine from Blacklane Limousines was there to pick me up and whisk me off to the home of my friend, Dr. Grant. It was a place I too had called home back in 2010 (in fact, I started this site from the very table I now write this entry from), and there was a sense of having come full circle as I staggered into my old bedroom after a welcome home meal of pizza and beer.
A welcome home package from my dear friend, Dr. Grant!
The Perils of Time Travel
I’ve got a post coming (hopefully tomorrow) about what I like to call the Perils of Time Travel. I’ll be discussing the sad fact that you can never truly go home, and that revisiting places where you’ve previously been happy is often a sobering mistake.In the last year I’ve revisited two places where I was immensely happy – South Korea and, now, the place I called home for what I still believe to have been the happiest year of my life.
Your Say
What have been your experiences and emotions when coming home after a long time away? Have you got any tricks for coping with the inevitable reverse culture shock?
It was a cold and foggy Saturday morning in 2012 when I arrived in Nanjing. Our school’s bubbling, bumbling intern, Tina, had arrived late to pick me up at the airport and after chattering away at me for about 15 minutes upon arrival, had left me alone in my icy cold, empty apartment to fend for myself.
It wasn’t the end of the world. After all, hadn’t I been in the same situation on a similarly cold November evening back in 2007? Hadn’t I not only survived – but thrived?
It was heartening to remember that early struggle and the success that would follow, but in the moment of utter exhaustion, bitter cold, and (I’ll admit) slight terror, it was easy to forget that I’d been there and done that.
Like any rational person will do when confronted with tiredness and a challenge, I went to bed.
The early days in Nanjing saw me spend all of my time with the so called ‘Menstruation Nation’.
Later that night, the brother of my best friend (who just so happened to be in Nanjing) would take me out for my first night on the town. We’d drink a few beers at Jimmy’s, I’d shake my head sadly at the lack of women in the bar (there was a friendly Chinese girl and her morbidly obese, immensely homely English friend), and at around 1am I’d fall just a little bit in love with shao kao on some dimly lit street I’ve probably been on a thousand times now. At the time, though, it felt immensely exotic and far away.
It’s funny how quickly places start to feel like home. It’s that sense of familiarity that almost inevitably drives me away from a place. If it’s no longer new, it’s no longer a challenge.
School’s Out Forever
When I finished my last class and said goodbye to my last students, I expected to feel… something. Sadness at the end of another chapter or a sense of relief at finally being done.
Celebrating a lesson’s completion with the kids in Shuanggou, Jiangsu, China.
Funny thing is, I didn’t really feel anything. I went upstairs, dumped my books on the bed like a regrettable one night stand, and sat down at my computer to watch The New Girl.
Where was the sense of occasion? Where was that desire to linger just a little bit longer in a dusty classroom that had been something akin to ‘home’ for so long? I’d certainly felt that pull in South Korea on two of my three stints there, but there was no such sentimentality this time around.
Maybe I’m outgrowing the sentiment? Maybe I’m finally past my obsession with eulogizing and glorifying the past?
Or maybe it’s just a sign that it’s time.
One Night in Nanjing
If there was no sense of occasion in my final class, there was definitely a sense of finality to my farewell dinner and drinks.
We met first at Talking #2, the dodgy watering hole at which I’ve spent many a post work afternoon or evening sipping 12rmb Tsing Tao and dissecting the day’s work or cricket. It was at Talking #2 that I met the Georgia Peach, and at Talking #2 that the inaugural (and so far only) Nanjing Beer Olympics began.
The gang hunkered down over beers at Talking 2.
It was there that I first met my good mate, Hogg, although he was rather drunk and had just been pantsed by some unsavoury character. We wouldn’t actually speak for a few more weeks.
T2 was, as always, all about beer and shooting the shit.
From there, it was on to my favourite Japanese restaurant for overpriced food, ice cold Kirin, and a half dozen Sake bombs that well and truly lubricated the evening.
Tucking into delicious sushi, tempura, and sake at Jappo.
At some point in the evening that I was too drunk to remember clearly, Hogg stood up and began a toast. Inebriation prevented me from remembering it in its entirety, but there were damp eyes by its conclusion, and it went a little something like this:
I think it’s safe to say that Chris wasn’t the greatest teacher in his last weeks here. In the tradition of starting out a speech by insulting the person and then saying nice things: let’s just say he was a shit teacher and is a shit person; but Chris has also become my best friend in the last two years. It’s safe to say that my life has been made the better for having Chris in it, and I think that’s true of everybody at this table. Nanjing has been better for your being here, and you will be missed.
As I say, I don’t remember the speech clearly, but that was the general gist of it.
My best friend in China is an idiot, but a lovable one.
As much as I hate goodbyes, I also love them. It’s good to leave a place and know you’ll leave behind people who miss you, even if that sadness they feel only lasts a day or two after your departure. It’s good to have made an impact on people and a place, and to know that – at least for a time – there’ll be a void that my absence has left.
Oh, and for your viewing pleasure: SAKE BOMB!
Oh, sake bombs, I blame you for some of the evening’s more regrettable decisions.
After dinner, it was off to where it all started: Jimmy’s.
More of the party met us there and it’s at this particular bar that things got cloudy.
Jimmy plied me with free, home made cinammon whiskey. My favourite.
Playing King’s Cup with my mate’s co-workers.
Doing a bear fight (Irish car bomb + jaeger bomb) with Hani.
Kissing a Kiwi guy so that an Irish girl and an American girl would make out.
Engaging in a three way kiss/face licking with said Kiwi guy and American girl.
Kissing said American girl some more.
Watching the Irish girl punch James in the face.
Hogg draws the attention of an admirer with honest intentions.
It reads like a shopping list of experiences from somebody’s early 20s but, in many ways, these years abroad are my early 20s. I was too shy and awkward in those early years to really live life, and so it’s been that I feel like I only turned 18 when I was 24. I’m on a six year lag, which means I’ll probably be ready to get married and have a real job in about 5-6 years.
Hanging with the girls at Sunrise in 1912Asmaa and I sharing a moment after we realize that we match.
From Jimmy’s it was on to 1912 – Nanjing’s regrettably sweaty, sleazy, and loud night club district. Our visit was brief, but it wouldn’t have been a proper Nanjing night out without the thumping bassline, sweaty masses, and general sense of frustration that comes with a night in a Chinese night club.
Farewell, Nanjing
It was a good great final night out. It had the elements of what I’ve come to love about my social life here – girls being attracted to me, displays of drinking prowess, silly dares, and good friends. If I could somehow find that combination in Australia, I might even consider staying.
Consider being the operative word there.
I slept away my final Saturday in Nanjing. That’s a pretty standard Saturday for me too, come to think of it.
It’s been a blast, Nanjing. Thanks to all of the fantastic people who have contributed to making this place feel like home. I’ve lived here longer than I’ve lived anywhere else – and I’ve been pretty vocal in my disdain for much of China – so that should give some indication of just how awesome ya’ll are.
There’s a misconception that only First Tier cities like Beijing and Shanghai have anything to offer western tourists and serial expats, but it’s patently wrong.
More and more these days, ‘second tier cities’ such as Nanjing, Hangzhou, Chengdu, and Xi’an are developing thriving and cosmopolitan dining scenes that are a fine accompaniment to the fantastic local cuisine on offer.
Whether you’re stopping off as part of your travels across China or looking to move to Nanjing as a teacher or a student, chances are you’ll have a hankering for a taste of home at some point. I’ve done my best to collate a list of the best western food in Nanjing and arrange it by category.
If I’ve left something out (or if you run a restaurant and want to be included) let me know by leaving a comment below.
No matter how long you’re in Nanjing, be sure to check out Nanking Nation. Not only does their website have a lot of information about bars, restaurants, and things to do in Nanjing – but their discount card also works at a lot of the below venues.
For your convenience, I’ve listed addresses and websites (where available) for all venues at the bottom of this entry.
The Best Western Food in Nanjing
Below, you’ll find suggestions divided by broader categories of western food in Nanjing. I’ve picked a favourite, a runner up, and then listed any honourable mentions that spring to mind. Bon appetit!
Best Burgers in Nanjing
Winner – Motu
A New Zealand owned establishment in the charming Laomendong tourist area, Motu is a runaway winner when it comes to burgers. Using imported Mongolian beef and a range of New Zealand ingredients, their menu is a mouthwatering blend of American burger traditions and Kiwi innovation.
Home to Nanjing’s best vegetarian burger, they also have ridiculously good milkshakes made using New Zealand ice cream.
Runner Up – Momentum
A little difficult to find in the basement of the Catherine Park mall, Momentum is definitely worth taking the time to search out.
Once located in a tiny hole in the wall on Shanghai Road, the locally owned burger joint has since blossomed into a TGI Friday style family restaurant with a selection of American favourites including burgers, wings, and some truly decadent milkshakes and alcoholic smoothies.
The Momentum brand has since opened up two additional locations, including one in the more popular IST Mall.
Honorable Mentions
Blue Frog does gourmet burgers at Shanghai prices but does have a pretty sweet 2 for 1 arrangement on Mondays that turns the restaurant/bar into one of Nanjing’s most popular spots.
Jimmy’s does a deliciously greasy chicken burger with bacon and cheese (ask for the Tropical Lava Thunder Burger) that is good for what ails you after a night of drinking.
Strikers Sports Bar, located on the ground floor of the Hilton, does some really good stuff with burgers as well. Thursday nights have discounted burgers and beers, making it a good stop before you head out.
Finnegan’s Wake is an Irish bar, but does a very good blue cheese burger and a few other offerings as well. They’re pricey but worth it.
Pimiento and Blue Sky also have passable burgers. The sliders at Blue Sky are worth a try.
Best Italian Food in Nanjing
Winner – Bellini’s
With two venues in the city (as well as a bar that doesn’t serve food), this classier Italian restaurant is a great place for dates or celebrations. While I’m of the belief their pasta dishes are a tad too small for their price tag, there’s no debating their quality.
The atmosphere at the restaurant is top notch, and it feels like you’re at a fancy restaurant rather than a Chinese impression of one.
Runner Up – Friends
It’s nothing to write home about, but Friends is a small restaurant that offers a selection of pizza and pasta at very affordable prices. I’m particularly fond of their pesto and spicy seafood pastas.
Honorable Mentions
Jack’s Place, proudly displaying that it was once featured in Lonely Planet, offers dirt cheap Italian food that ranges from acceptable to quite good.
Syzeria, a chain of Japanese run restaurants with venues all over the city, is arguably the cheapest Italian meal you’ll find in the city. It’s greasy, uninspired fare – but if you’re on a budget and want some carbs, it’s worth a look. Cheap wine and beer make it popular with budget conscious students.
Best Pizza in Nanjing
Winner – Jimmy’s
Nanjing’s premier sports bar also happens to have (in my mind) the best American style pizza going. There’s a good selection of toppings and they’re one of the few pizza places to deliver until late. My personal favourites are the TaMu and the CJ, but they’re all pretty damn good.
Runner Up – Bellini’s
Boasting by far the biggest pizza you’ll find in Nanjing, Bellini’s does a 50% off night on Tuesdays that makes their already tempting pizzas nigh on irresistible. There’s not a lot of meat options available for the carnivores, but every one of their pizzas is a treat.
The large pizza at Bellini’s certainly lives up to its name.
Honorable Mentions
Pisa Pizza, with its more traditional, thin crust Italian style pizzas; is a popular alternative to the chains such as Pizza Hut and Papa Murphy’s. They also have a decent selection of pasta, and the option is there to eat in or have your favourite delivered. Try the four cheese pizza. It’s amazing.
The aforementioned Friends also does pizza.
Best European Food in Nanjing
Seleccion Espanola isn’t just tapas and paella.
Winner – Seleccion Espanola
Spanish cuisine isn’t one of the most popular cuisines on earth, but Seleccion Espanola is sure to make a believer out of you.
Their paella is not only huge but delicious, and there’s a number of mouth-watering tapas options. The sangria is pretty fantastic as well. This place was my go to date spot in Nanjing.
Runner Up – Les 5 Sens
I can’t go past this exquisite French eatery when it comes to European food, not from that little boot named Italy. The staff at Les 5 Sens are professional and the set menus are ridiculously filling at a good price. Enjoy an ice cold kir while you nosh on some divine mains; you won’t regret it!
Honourable Mentions
Paulaner is a German brewery chain which offers a pretty good selection of German specialties such as sauerkraut, sausages, and other such treats. The prices are a bit steep, but all things are made better by a liter of hefeweizen.
Secco is a rather well-kept secret in the city, but this awesome bar also does some fantastic German food including schnitzels, kebabs, steaks, and sausage platters.
Brownstone might be more cocktail bar than restaurant, but their tapas selection is good and everything I’ve tried there has been worth the price.
Best Sandwiches in Nanjing
Winner – Skyways
A Nanjing tradition, Skyways is a bakery boasting the best (non-sweetened!) bread in the city and the best sandwiches to boot. 30rmb buys you a sandwich (choose from five toppings + salads + sauces) with a cold drink on the side, not a bad deal. There are also weekly special for those looking for some variety.
30rmb ($5) gets you this sizable ciabatta sandwich and a cold soda.
Runner Up – Element Fresh
Newly arrived on the Nanjing eating scene, the Shanghai brand has some damn fine sandwiches if you’re willing to pay a little extra. There’s a selection of 10-12 cold or hot sandwiches that ought to satisfy your western cravings.
Honorable Mentions
Momentum is more famous for its burgers, but it also has a number of sub style sandwiches including BLTs, turkey & cranberry, and Philly cheese steak. They’re not as good as their burgers, but are a sizable bite.
Wagas is another Shanghai chain offering some good western style sandwiches, including some delicious breakfast options.
Uncle Pizza does Skyways sandwiches for a fraction of the price of Skyways, and also has a selection of pizzas at very affordable prices.
Best Buffet in Nanjing
Winner – Tairyo Teppanyaki
It’s not technically ‘western’, but this Japanese chain is a popular ‘all you can eat’ option for the western scene. 180rmb buys you bottomless drinks and your choice of as much of anything on the menu as your heart desires. Watch as the chef cooks it in front of you and then wolf down as much steak, seafood, and sweetness as you can stomach.
Runner Up – ???
I don’t know a great many other buffets in town, I’m afraid to say. The city did used to have a pretty stellar Buddhist vegetarian buffet, but it’s since turned into a pricey eatery 🙁
Dishonorable Mention
Avoid the churrasco inspired Golden Hans at all costs. Cold meats and poorly prepared salads? Blech!
Best Bar Food in Nanjing
Winner – Jimmy’s
He has the best pizza in town, but there’s no denying that Jimmy’s is the king of Nanjing bar food. The greasy burgers, sizable pies, a modest Mexican menu, and his signature BBQ all make for a perfect accompaniment to a dozen or so ice cold beers.
BBQ nights serve up great steaks and ribs and make Jimmy’s a popular dinner option.
A sizable serving of ribs and fries at Jimmy’s. Perfect with a cider.
Runner Up – Talking
A chain of 6-8 bars scattered across the city, Talking has a surprisingly broad selection of foods including Thai, Italian, and German. It’s hardly gourmet fare, but at the low prices and quick cooking time, it’s a good option if you’re about to have a big night and want to line your stomach.
Brewsells’ Belgian fries are amazing with an ice cold beer.
Honorable Mentions
Finnegan’s Wake is a bit pricey to be considered bar food, but there’s a pretty fantastic selection of burgers, larger meals, and desserts on hand if you’re feeling peckish.
Secco’s kebabs are a brilliant option if you’re late into your evening and feeling a mite peckish as well.
Brewsell’s does a range of grilled sandwiches that are worth a look if you’re after a fast bite.
Blue Sky has a range of traditional bar foods, as well as some Australian staples such as meat pies. It’s not cheap.
I’ve not made it over yet, but Gilly’s apparently does some great bar food. Their pizzas get plenty of love.
Best Cafe in Nanjing
Winner – Local Birds
Maybe I’m just a sucker for bagels, but Local Birds has a great selection of bagels, donuts, and other treats to start your morning with. They also have quick and cheap Americano and Espresso coffees.
Runner Up – Pause
A cute little alleyway cafe with plenty of seats and acceptable WiFi, this is a good one to set up for a day of work. It doesn’t offer much in the way of food, unfortunately, but it has the best selection of coffees and teas outside of a Starbucks or Costa Coffee.
Their cookies and cream latte is a personal favourite.
The sandwiches and crepes at Sacre Bleu are pretty rad.
Honorable Mentions
It’s best known for its sandwiches, but Skyways also has a number of cakes, cookies, and even ice cream for those with a sweet tooth. They do a variety of coffees as well.
Eat is located right next to Pause, and has some decent options as well.
Sculpting in Time is a perennial favourite with university students, and is a go to place for language exchange meetups.
Best Mexican in Nanjing
Winner – Axis
Almost as soon as my post went live, I’d received an email from an ardent admirer of this relative newcomer to Nanjing’s food scene. Located a little farther afield in Xianlin, this place
Located a little further afield in Xianlin, this place specializes in Tex Mex style comfort food but also does pizzas and other perennial favourites. Cherie swears by the place, so I’ll be heading down there in the next week to try it out myself.
Runner Up – Behind the Wall
From a newcomer to one of Nanjing’s longest lived foreign food establishments, Behind the Wall offers faux Mexican that ranges from dreadful (their soggy nachos) to decent (their quesadillas). The place has a great outdoor seating area and does a happy hour most nights, making it a fun place to hang out and drink. Just not a place I’d recommend if you’re craving good quality Mexican.
Honorable Mentions
Gilly’s (also in Xianlin) also has a selection of Tex-Mex favourites.
Best Asian Cuisine in Nanjing
Winner – Taj Mahal
Nanjing is blessed with a number of good Indian options, but for my money, Taj Mahal is the best bang for your buck. With venues in both Xinjekou and Shanghai Lu, Taj Mahal has a large selection of curries as well as tandoori, naan, starters, and desserts. They also deliver.
Runner Up – Pho Saigon
Located in in Xinjiekou, this often overlooked gem is a real treat for lovers of Vietnamese food. Their English menu is full of Vietnamese favourites mixed in with a few other southeast Asian favourites from Thailand and Indonesia.
The Vietnamese coffee is terrific and they’ve also got a selection of southeast Asian desserts.
Honorable Mentions
Poets in Deji Plaza does a selection of Thai and Thai fusion dishes, as well as having ladies night (free mojitos) on a Wednesday and guys night (free Heineken on a Thursday) to lure in the college crowd.
Masala is another great Indian restaurant with all of your favourite curries.
Thai Tasty in Xianlin is one I’ve not visited myself, but I’ve heard good things about their selection of Thai dishes.
Wagas is another Shanghai institution that has recently joined Element Fresh and Blue Frog in the city. It is more of a juice bar and coffee shop but has some remarkably good Thai curries on offer.
Best Brunch in Nanjing
Winner – Pimiento
From a sheer bang for your buck perspective, it’s hard to overlook Pimiento’s 35RMB Saturday or Sunday brunch. Bacon, eggs, sausage, ham, vegetables, and French toast accompanied by bottomless tea or coffee? You can’t beat that when you’re nursing a hangover and need a grease injection.
Runner Up – Element Fresh
It’s pricey, but Element Fresh’s brunch menu includes French toast, sandwiches, salads, traditional continental or American breakfasts, and even breakfast burritos. Their selection of juices and smoothies make for a nice accompaniment too.
Honorable Mentions
I’ve not had the pleasure of partaking, but Finnegans Wake does a number of breakfast options including a full English. Haggis is available as well, for those really missing the Old Dart.
The Stalwarts
It’s worth noting that Nanjing is a developed and rapidly westernising city. You’ll be able to find recognizable western food chains such as McDonalds, Subway, KFC, Pizza Hut, Starbucks, and the like all over the city. There’s even a few Cold Stone Ice Creameries.
Have I missed one of your favourite Nanjing restaurants? Have I done your favourite a disservice by not rating it higher? I’d love to hear your opinions!
I was idly digging about in my desk drawer the other day when I found a CD onto which I’d backed up some files from my old PC back in Australia. Curious, I decided to pop it into my laptop and see what I’d deemed important enough to spend $2 on.
One of the items I found was a back-up of my old Open Diary. The site itself went down earlier in 2014, so this back-up proved to be more of a time capsule than it might otherwise have been. With nothing else to do, I decided to open it up and read through what 18 year old Chris had to say.
The year was 2002 and I was a shy, socially awkward kid who’d never had a girlfriend, had no real life experience, and clung to the ridiculous idea that all I needed to get over my battle with the black dog was somebody to miraculously come in, love me, and make it all okay.
Reading through those old entries about near misses, perceived heart-breaks, self pity, and naive optimism I felt a few conflicting feelings. I felt sadness for the kid who knew so little of the world and thought so little of himself that he needed somebody to validate him. I felt anger at how naive and childish his worries seemed. I felt happiness at the old friendships, romances, and experiences he had thought important enough to write down. I might not remember them at all if it weren’t for that.
If I could reach back across the gap of twelve years and impart some advice on that occasionally optimistic, sad, naive, and desperately lonely kid – what would I say to him?
You will always feel homeless
One of the first entries this young CWB wrote was about how he felt homeless. My family had left my childhood home around the same time I left for university, so when I came back ‘home’ between semesters, I didn’t have a room to call my own. I’d share with a brother or shack up in our caravan.
To my 18-year-old mind, this seemed like something painful that I would never get over.
In many ways, I guess I didn’t.
Your one big regret about life abroad is not spending enough time with these fantastic people.
Chris, twelve years on, I still don’t know where home is. I’ve called eight cities in three countries ‘home’ since we graduated from university, and if my desire to keep moving is any indication: we’ve still yet to find it.
That’s not a bad thing, though. While other people will be anchored to their idea of home, you’re going to see and experience so much. You’re going to make friends from countries you’d never even thought about as a teenager: dear, true friends from everywhere in thew world – from Wales to Kenya, Bosnia to Chile, and everywhere in between.
You’re going to fall in love with girls – enchanting, confusing, beautiful girls who you’d never met if you’d stayed in Glen Innes or Armidale.
You’re going to touch the lives of children in China and South Korea. You’re going to write a Chinese sit-com, start a modestly successful website, see things you daydreamed about seeing as a kid, and you’re going to get to be that popular guy you thought you’d never be.
You’re always going to miss the feeling of belonging – I can promise you – but so far, it’s been worth it.
Get a haircut and grow a beard
This might hurt, but it needs to be said. You look fucking stupid with that messy, oily mop of hair.
You look ridiculous, Chris!
Shave your head and grow a beard. It’s not going to come into fashion again for ten years or so, but you look infinitely better that way.
The world is so much bigger than it seems right now
That failed Communications assessment isn’t the end of the world. The prank call that got your hopes up and then dashed them isn’t the end of the world, either.
That girl you felt sure was the one that got away? I didn’t even remember her until I read her name in our diary.
Right now, Armidale and university feel like the entire universe, but so much of what happens to you won’t even register with you in a few years. People aren’t going to care if you only got a credit on that assignment, and you’re not still going to be wondering if Amanda or Laura or whoever was ‘the one’.
They weren’t. If they were, you wouldn’t have to wonder.
You do not have a right to be loved
When I read you calling girls ‘stupid’ or ‘bitches’ because they didn’t pay attention to you, it made me cringe. I know we were often drunk and bitter when we wrote such things, but that doesn’t excuse it.
You do not have a birthright to be loved by whatever girl you turn your attention to. The world might have convinced you otherwise with its romantic comedies and friends & family who only want the best for you; but love is earned.
You do not have a right to it, and if you’re not getting the attention you want – that is either your fault, or just bad luck. I’d tell you to be more confident, but I remember how much I hated hearing that when I was a shy shut-in. You don’t know how awesome you are yet, but when you figure it out, you’re going to be a much happier person.
For now, just be patient and know your time will come. Believe it or not, there’ll even be a time where you’re spoiled for choice and agonize over it late at night.
I shit you not.
I still don’t have it all figured out
Don’t feel pressured to know what you’re going to do with your life. At thirty years of age, I’m about to leave China and head home with no concrete plans for my future.
Some people are blessed to find their calling and settle into it young. We’re not those people, but we’re living a life they’re sometimes jealous of and doing things many people can only dream about.
You do not need somebody else to complete you
So many of the entries in our diary were about how you just knew you’d be happy if a girl would love you.
I’ve got bad news, kiddo. We dated many wonderful, supportive girls who tried their hardest to love us enough to fill that hole left by our own lack of self love. Every one of them eventually gave up the thankless task and, angry though we might have been at the time, we eventually realized that they did the right thing.
Nobody’s love will ever complete you. There is no person out there who can miraculously chase away the black dog, instill some much needed responsibility into you, and make you the man you daydream about being.
Only when you are comfortable within yourself and accept who you are will you be ready to love and be loved. It won’t complete you, but it shouldn’t. Love compliments, it does not complete.
You have more to offer than you think
The one, over-arcing sentiment in the diary was one of self-loathing. You never needed people to say bad things about you (although they sometimes did) because you were so busy being your own worst enemy.
How did you expect to ever be happy, popular, or loved if you spent so much of your time highlighting your flaws and playing down your redeeming features?
You won’t know quite what you’re capable of for some time yet. One day in five years time, you’re going to get on a plane and fly to South Korea. You’re going to be terrified and there will be times where you’ll think it was the worst decision you ever made. You’ll stick it out.
I’d like to be able to tell you that after one year abroad, you realize what you’re capable of, but you don’t. It’s not even the second or third trip abroad that does it.
At some point, though, you’re going to realize that the things about you that you don’t like can either be changed or lived with.
You’re going to start to believe it when people tell you that you’re funny or fantastic or (gasp) handsome. Don’t let it go to your head, but don’t ignore it, either. You are worthy of the friendships, experiences, and romances you experience.
Believe it or not, people are someday going to tell you that they admire you. Don’t worry, it made me feel awkward too.
I wish I could tell you to talk to that pretty girl you’d decided was out of your league, to apply for that job you felt under qualified for, or to audition for that play you were too shy to try out for. Our life is full of missed opportunities, but they’ve lead us to where we are today – so it isn’t all bad.
You’re depressed. Get help.
I flat out cried when I read the entry in which you described how a group of our friends stood over you while you threw up into a toilet and told them all you wanted to kill yourself.
When I read you saying things like ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me’, I wish I could shout back at you that you’re depressed and that you should talk to somebody.
The number of nights you spent crying alone outside wishing you could be happy like everybody else seemed to be saddens me. The number of opportunities we missed because we were too sad to leave the house, too shy to open our mouths, or too anxious to take the plunge saddens me to this day.
The black dog was walking at our side for longer than either of us knew, and I sorely wish we’d talked to somebody about it when we were younger. So much pain and sadness might have been averted if we had.
So far, life has never thrown something at us that we haven’t been able to beat. No matter how dark things seem or how lonely that house feels at 3am on a winter night, you’re never alone. The friends who cared about you then still care about us today, and we’ve only grown closer to our family in the intervening years.
You’re still friends with these lovable idiots.
We’ve always been blessed with friends and family who love us. When you’re down on yourself, remind yourself that there is a reason for that love and concern.
Be strong, kid. It gets much, much better.
In Closing
It was an experience to glimpse into the mind of a much younger, more naive version of myself. That kid wanted nothing more than to get married, have children, and live happily ever after.
I’m not sure how he’d feel if he knew about how I’d spent the last twelve years or the fact we’re still not married; but I like to think he’d be excited for the road ahead.
Your Say
If you could write a letter to your eighteen year old self, what advice would you give? Would you change anything? Or would you let things play out as they have?
With the Nanjing Youth Olympics coming up in August and a lot of tourists planning to head to the city to cheer on their kids and countries, I thought it would be a good time to highlight some of the sights worth seeing in Nanjing.
While this largely industrial city isn’t a must see on a Chinese itinerary, that isn’t to say there aren’t things worth seeing and doing in the former southern capital of China.
All About the Things to do in Nanjing
Nanjing is often overshadowed by Beijing in the north and Shanghai in the east, and with good reason. While Beijing boasts some of China’s most iconic sites and Shanghai is China’s most international city, Nanjing struggles to match either city on pure pulling power.
It doesn’t have a Great Wall or a Summer Palace like Beijing, nor does it offer the shopping, dining, or night life of Shanghai.
That said, Nanjing is not a city without its charms. It’s status as a former capital (Nanjing literally means South Capital) and its grim history during the Japanese occupation of China mean that there are some historic buildings worth checking out.
#6 – Go Shopping at Fuzimiao
Fuzimiao (Confucius Temple) is a bustling market district centered around a number of historic buildings and temples not too far from the heart of Nanjing. Located on the banks of the Qinhuai River, the old style architecture and the willows flanking the water make for a place that is at once both serene and hectic.
The crowds shopping at Fuzimiao.
Fuzimiao is particularly beautiful at night, when the place really comes alive as a night market and the fairy lights set the traditional buildings ablaze with colour.
The site itself dates back to 314AD, although the buildings on the site these days are less than two hundred years old. Even so, the temple and its surrounding buildings boast the distinctive raised eaves and whitewashing of Chinese architecture, and it’s easy to feel like you’re in ‘real China’ even as you pass cellphone vendors, fast food restaurants, and generic souvenir shops.
If you’re looking to do some souvenir shopping or eat some traditional Chinese food with the westerner mark-up, Fuzimiao is the place to go.
The trees in Fall are particularly beautiful when decorated.
You can also take boat rides along the Qinhuai River canal, which is a fun experience.
And, of course, don’t forget to visit the temple. Students of Confucianism studied at this site as far back as 1034, and the temple is a short introduction to the history of the school and the region.
#5 – Visit the Presidential Palace
From 1927 until the break up of China (which former Taiwan and the current China) in 1949, the capital of China was located in Nanjing – and not Beijing or Shanghai as many might have believed.
Located not far from Nanjing’s 1912 night-life district, the Presidential Palace still stands and acts as a modern history museum for those wanting to learn about China post World War 2.
One of many displays inside the Presidential Palace. Were I able to read Chinese, I might know its significance.
Most (if not all) of the text is in Chinese, however, making the place a tad inaccessible for visitors from abroad. You don’t need to read Chinese to enjoy the architecture or the calm of the well manicured gardens and ponds, however.
The sun sets behind the willow trees at the Nanjing Presidential Palace.A serene pond and boat-shaped building in the Presidential Palace gardens.
There is a small fee attached with visiting the museum.
#4 – Wander Around Xuanwu Lake
With a history dating back as far as 182AD, Xuanwu Lake is the glittering heart of Nanjing and a beloved place to while away a lazy Sunday in summer or spring.
Surrounded by the iconic Nanjing Wall, the lake offers a blessedly green reprieve from the hustle and bustle of a modern industrial city. Willows, cherry blossoms, lilies, maples, and countless other trees and flowers make up the beautiful gardens that cover the islands and banks of the lake – and even in a city as crowded as Nanjing, it’s possible to find your own little quiet area for a picnic or a bit of reading.
A group of actors in traditional Chinese garb hanging out by the lake.
Boats are available to hire and take out on the lake, and various restaurants and vendors scattered about the place offer refreshments such as tea, ice cream, or heartier fare.
Boats out on the waters of Xuanwu Lake, Nanjing’s favourite playground.
Nearby Ji Ming Temple is truly stunning when the cherry blossoms are in bloom each spring, but is worth a visit even without the trademark scattering of pink petals to greet you. There’s a fantastic Buddhist Vegetarian Restaurant on site too.
The cherry blossoms in bloom near Ji Ming Temple.
Xuanwu Lake is no less beautiful once the sun goes down. The park’s lighting has been set up to be as eye-catching and artistic as possible, and in summer old men fly motorized, lit up kites to add to the effect. The park also offers stunning views of the sun set and the Nanjing skyline, which is dominated by nearby Zifeng Tower – the 9th tallest building in the world.
Nanjing’s Xuanwu Lake lit up at night makes for a lovely evening walk.
Entrance to the park is free, and you can easily spend 4-5 hours wandering over its arched bridges and exploring its wooded islands.
#3 – Take a Day Trip
This is cheating, but Nanjing is so well-connected to nearby cities that you’d be crazy not to venture a little farther afield and see what else China has to offer.
Serviced by two high-speed train stations, Nanjing offers tourists an easy point of access to cities such as Changzhou, Hangzhou, Shanghai, Suzhou, Wuxi, and even Shanghai.
Visit Changzhou to take the kids to the well-known Changzhou Dinosaur Park – part museum and part theme park; Hangzhou to take in the utter beauty of West Lake; or Suzhou to pay a visit to one of the nearby ‘water towns’ that do their best to imitate Venice. Shanghai is for shopping and Wuxi offers a wealth of beautiful gardens for nature enthusiasts to explore.
Tickets range between 80 and 120rmb ($20) and the high-speed rail takes only ninety minutes to reach Shanghai, two hours to get to Hangzhou, and less than an hour to reach places like Suzhou and Changzhou.
#2 – Visit the Nanjing Massacre Memorial
It makes for a grim day out, but you can’t visit Nanjing and not pay tribute to the hundreds of thousands of people who lost their lives during the Japanese occupation of the city.
The Nanjing Massacre Memorial is a somber reminder of the huge cost of war, and acts as part memorial and part museum to the atrocities that took place.
Part of the outdoor memorial at the Nanjing Massacre Memorial.The excavated bones of those killed in the Massacre are on display.The initial section, a museum, is a tad sterile – but very informative.Confronting sculptures line the queue area for the Nanjing Massacre Memorial.
Lines for the memorial can be dauntingly long, but I would argue that visiting is one of the most important things to do in Nanjing.
#1 – Take some time to explore Purple Mountain
If there’s one area of Nanjing I wished I’d spent more time exploring while I called the city home, it’s the Purple Mountain park and the many historic sites that litter it.
Far from being ‘just’ a bastion of nature on the fringes of the ever-expanding city, Purple Mountain also offers visitors the opportunity to visit historic sites such as ancient Ming Tombs and the mausoleum of San Yat-Sen, the ‘Father of Modern China’.
If you’re feeling adventurous, you can bring along some swimming gear and pay a visit to Purple Glow Lake. While it’s normally not advisable to go swimming in bodies of water in China, this well-kept lake is popular with locals and foreigners alike wanting a cool escape from the oppressive summer heat.
My friends and I rocking our Adventure Underwear at Purple Glow Lake on Purple Mountain.
One can easily spend two or more days exploring Purple Mountain’s various gardens, historic buildings, and hikes. Entrance to the park is around 200RMB (roughly $30).
Your Say
Have you ever been to Nanjing? What are your recommendations for a visit to China’s former southern capital?
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