Guest Post: How Travel Bloggers Talk About Sex
This one comes from Will over at Gap Daemon and My Spanish Adventure. Perhaps noticing a recent trend towards the ribald on the pages of Aussie on the Road, he’s put together a post about something near and dear to my heart.
I’ll be putting together a piece on teaching in South Korea for Gap Daemon real soon, so keep your eyes peeled for that one.
How Travel Bloggers Talk About Sex
Travel and sex go together like fish and chips. Both can be warm, salty and, at times, just that little bit crusty. Yet that still doesn’t stop us from indulging.
As travel bloggers roving around the world and dipping “in and out” of hostels, hotels and the like, the opportunity for a bit of slap and tickle is, unsurprisingly, rife.
But just how do we talk about travel sex on our blogs?
Judging from some of the top travel sites out there it’s a lot like the act itself. The writing? It all comes from a variety of positions!
The Downright Dirty
If you want your travel sex raw and dangerous look no further than Colin Post of Expat Chronicles. This American expat blogger living in Colombia delights in a no-holds-barred gonzo style of travel writing that is well worth spending a few hours reading. Especially for passages like this:
“They left. I fucked the girlfriend’s friend. She wouldn’t take her shirt off so I came on it. In the morning she woke me up for more. I did it again, cumming on her shirt again too.” Read in full.
And that’s just one instance. Crawl through Colin’s archives and you’ll unearth plenty of juicy tales about his debauched times in the brothels of Bogota and Cali cathouses.
This approach to talking about the two-backed beast? It’s certainly posed Colin a few problems. He’s twice been interrogated by the Colombian equivalent of the FBI according to Paula Delgado-Kling of Talking About Colombia.
Colin’s intention to: “only write to illustrate a normal night out in Bogota”? Not pleasing to everyone it would seem!
Deviating away from that end of the spectrum are the more appreciative of travel bloggers out there. Those open to travel sex even when they aren’t the ones getting any.
Adventurous Kate’s writing is full of saucy examples like these. She’s one blogger that’s certainly not scared of playing out some good sex stories in her posts. Her experience at a Bangkok sex show just one good example.
“Isn’t that what many a college girl has said upon diving headfirst into labia for a night?” Read in full.
Kate’s definitely hit on a niche here. The lack of labia talk on most travel blogs is criminal if you ask me.
Taking an honest approach to sex is always going to land you in hot water. But it makes for refreshing reading on any travel blog nonetheless.
Take Jeff, from Vagabond Kids, as an example. Travelling with a full blown family isn’t going to stop him from getting the horn.
“I must confess from the moment the hotel room door closes I start thinking about sex every 2 seconds, add in a few cans of the cheap expired beer from the mini-bar and I feel like a king in my palace and start to lounge in just my underwear. Yes, I admit, I am a true travelling pig.” Read in full.
Now there’s an image! Jeff and Kristy breaking each other in like bloodthirsty boars.
For the most part however, it appears that the vast majority of travel blogs are reserved for a more delicate approach to travel sex talk. That of the educational.
Runaway Jane, on a more prudish note, spoils all our fun when she goes down the rather old route of lambasting rutting hostel couples.
“Find somewhere in the common rooms, bathrooms, washing rooms, garden, beach, pool, or anywhere really except from the dorm!” Read in full.
She makes up for it rather nicely however with her post on the girl who “shat in the hostel common room”. A bit of scataphobia always goes down a treat in with the travel blogging world now and again!
Stepping out from the tired old educational approach to travel sex is Michael in Korea, who with his ace cartoon blog Say Sex Louder delivers some pretty pertinent information on doing the dirty.
“Why do girls always get the wet spot? Thanks!
Why wouldn’t girls get the wet spot? You discharge 700% more fluids than he does during sex, and it’s your duty to deal with the mess. It’s called assuming the proper gender role”. Read in full.
Check out his About page for a good laugh. Who’d of thought a drawing of an innocent banana could be so immoral!
Then there are the bloggers who stumble into travel sex writing largely by accident. Take Johnny from One Step 4Ward. He got more than he bargained for in Bangladesh having gone out on the pop late one night. The heavies even came around to threaten him while he slept in his hostel room.
“You’re having sex with a prostitute, it’s illegal. Why you do this in my hotel?!”
“What are you talking about? We shared a coffee left” Read in full.
Ah the old “I shared a coffee” excuse eh? I’ll have to remember that one myself.
Turning our attentions back to the female travel blogging crowd it seems they too like to get a little suggestive with their tales of sun, sea and, erm, that other thing.
Nellie Huang, of Wild Junket, gives a lot away as a sex-on-the-beach aficionado, regaling us with some suggestively sexy details:
“Sex on the beach is definitely a sensual experience for a couple, who can’t get enough of each other! There’s no place more romantic and saucy than out in the open, with the lapping sound of the waves and sea breeze blowing. For the less initiated bunch, it’s time to get out there and get your body grinding on the sand!” Read in full
As does Lindsay AKA The Hogga, who gives us a little tiny glimpse into her nymphomaniacal world over on The Traveller World Guide.
“Since we have nothing better to do with our time when travelling, we spend almost every moment with someone we like. We hump, share some spiritual or emotional moments, then eventually part ways”. Read in full.
And we thought butter wouldn’t melt!
So no matter how you like your travel sex, whether it’s wet, slippy or sandy, the travel blog communities got you covered. Dread to think what some of the writers have got covered in though…
Will Peach is one of the site editors over at Gap Daemon, the community website for backpackers and gap year travellers looking for help finding work abroad.